𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ☽

✯ chapter XVIII

ELEANORA

the walk to the train station was too quick and painful, papa had booked this hotel due to the close proximity to the station but right now i wished that we were staying in a complete different city to make our time together last longer. we walked in silence, tears fell from my eyes but my two companions managed to keep themselves together until we collected oliver's ticket and made our way onto the platform.

we sat on a single bench as oliver's hand grasped onto my brother's firmly, i kept my eyes forward and focused until the sound of an incoming train neared. this is when my heart physically hurt, i turned to him and took his face in the hands and begged through my tears, "please stay til tomorrow, we can stay here another night. please don't leave us-leave me" my voice broke and so did my spirits as he gave me a broken smile before getting up.

he took elio's hand first has people started to board the carriages, my eyes stayed focused on thiet feel and blood rushed to my ears blocking out their conversations, their 'thank you's' and 'i love you's'. they embraced each other as the trainmaster called for any remaining passengers. oliver looked to the train and then to me, i thought he was going to leave me without a goodbye. part of me wished he did, because this wasn't just a later and we would see him at dinner. this was a goodbye and i'll see you when our paths diverge again.

he walked over hastily and pulled me into a suffocating hug, my head against his chest, could hear his heart beating rapidly, if he asked to listen to mine, i doubt he;d be able to hear anything. i'd whisper, "it's broken" and wait for his reply.

but he let go and barely looked at me while i kept my eyes fixated on the blue orbs that would remain engraved in my memories for years to come. "don't forget about me" i murmured as the train master called for a final time, "i love you".

"i will never forget you and i'll come back, i promise" he held his pinky up as i hooked mine around his, he laid a gentle kiss on my hand that burned my skin before running to board the carriage.

i reached for my brother's hand but he left, not waiting for his departure. i wanted to call to my twin and tell him that we have time, he can still get off, the train hasn't started yet. but my mouth stayed sewn shut as the engines ignited and the wheels started to spin. "please don't go" i repeated over and over, gaining a few odd looks from passing strangers as i started to walk with his carriage as it started to move.

the walk turned to a jog, jog to a run until i ran out of platform. if thick bramble bushes didn't lay in front of me i'd run as fast as i could and chase him to the big city before pleading with him to come home. my home, his summer home. tell him if he didn't want to, i'd go to his american home, anywhere that we could stay and make a living with each other.

as the train slipped out of view, i walked back inside to see elio sat on the floor under a chunky telephone, his eyes were red and tears stained his cheeks. i sat down opposite him as he both sobbed, his hands fell into mine and our fingers intertwined with each other as we both felt the same pain, thought the same thoughts and loved the same man.

"we're gonna be okay" i whispered as his eyes finally met mine, his face remained expressionless, i hoped for a smile or at least a glimmer of love between us but he showed none.

"mama will be here in an hour" he told me before getting up and leaving me on the concrete floor, i grabbed my case and joined him as we waited for our mother to turn up.

the ride back to crema was silent, with a few sobbs that would escape either mine or elio;s mouth, i sat in the back with my legs spread over the seat and elio sat in the passenger seat as my mother caressed his hair. we were told that we needed some groceries before we returned home, home where his presence would now be nonexistent. elio and i would have our room back but i may move into the small room. lay in the bed they most likely slept in together, with rudolph questioning why my pillow was soaked with tears every morning he woke me up.

we both spotted martizia at the same time, my eyes fell to the floor as she strode over to walk to elio. she paid no attention to me, we'd never liked each other growing up and i didn't see any of that changing anytime soon. i saw her send me a few bitchy side glances but chose to let it slide until when she returned to her friends and they all turned to me laughing.

every single emotion i was feeling heightened as i left the car and found my legs running to the all too familiar smelling coffee store that i'd grown to love. i ran in as rosemary met me with a smile that slowly faded into a concerned frown, i collapsed into the little woman's arms as she whispered comforting messages into my ear. my eyes wandered over to our familiar booth wishing to see him there but the seat was filled by a couple. they looked at each other with lust and love and i found myself pleading to have him back so we could reenact the scene in front of me.

"i've lost him" i cried as she pulled away and kept my eyes focussed on her as she spoke one of the only english sentences i'd heard her say,

"nothing is ever really lost"

i feel i haven't done eleanora justice

i've scraped this chapter so many times but i feel like this the best i can do :)

WARNING: two chapters remain before i announce the new book that i have a ready started on, i hope you enjoyed this!

as always, stay safe

- meg x