𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐎𝐍𝐄
somewhere in Northern Italy
- 1983
"holding you close in my arms I now realise how completely wrong we are for each other. how different we are and how much you deserve...
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the snow piled up on the sloped roof of my parent's villa, snowflakes rested on my boots as i sat at one of the many french windows. the italian moonlight provided a natural glow as i flipped through the book i wrote that summer. remembering how i sat at the exact same spot during my first encounter with the american that has left his print at my seasonal home.
we returned for the holidays as we always do, settling back into our routines and realising how boring and mundane life was when not staying here. "mamma wants you downstairs" i turned to see my brother wrapped in a blanket with his walkman covering his ears, he daren't look at me though. ever since summer elio and i had been distant, not speaking unless we needed to. i did move into the smaller room which gave us little but enough space to be able to work together but separately.
"thank you" i said quietly before running downstairs and into my father's office, he threw me a new postcard from venice but i already knew who it was. he glared at me, awaiting my decision as i ripped it up and threw it into the bin. a smile spread over my mother's face as she worked her way through countless documents that oliver had left for my father, i started to trace over the familiar handwriting as the phone rung. papa picked it up first and his face lit up at the caller.
the american accent was faint but recognisable, my parents started to tell him all about next year's intern and how "he was a she". elio walked in and had the same shocked expression as me while he recognised the voice as well. i shot him worried glance but he turned and left the room but then picked up the phone in the hallway and took over the conversation from my father.
"eleanora, what are you plotting?" my dad smiled, i'd been staring at the same spot for a few moments thinking of the different scenarios that could play out in the next few minutes, "talk to him"
"elio?" i asked confused before sinking into the desk chair, my mother let out an exhausted sign and left the room with masses of paperwork in his hands.
"no, oliver" he smiled and passed me the phone off of the stand, i felt guilty when i pressed it against my ear and heard their conversation, oliver announced that he was getting married and the heartbreak was extremely visible through his voice. i made sure my breathing was quiet so that i wouldn't be noticed but the guilt didn't subside, it became heavier with every passing word. but i was struck with confusion at their last few sentences.
"elio...elio,elio,elio,elio,elio,elio,elio..." he repeated his name down the phone with pain present in his voice, i wanted to place the phone down but my hand wouldn't let me. my arm stiffened as my own body was forcing me listen to a connection that i'll never have.
after a few beats, the american on the other end finally spoke up, "...oliver...i remember everything"
at that moment i felt my heart shatter, not for myself but for my double sat in the corridor. i placed the phone down and heard feet shuffle away and into the dinning room. a tear slipped from my eye at the thought of the pain my brother was being put through. he didn't deserve this.
i pondered on whether to bother him and decided that if he would ever need me, this was the time. he sat in front of the stone fireplace that was only lit in winter, his white shirt was cast a warm orange glow in the light. "mi scusi" mafalda muttered as she pushed past, her eyes fell onto my brother and i placed a hand on her shoulder telling her that i've got this one.
i trod over and sat down next to him, his cheeks stained pink and his eyelashes clumped together with tears. he didn't pull away nor push me away as i placed a hand on his knee but instead moved into my touch as the tears fell like hailstones, each one of a memory that now meant nothing. he stayed silent with his chest heaving up and down from the tears until he managed to push out the sentence that would forever plague his mind.
"...call me by your name.. ...and i'll call you by mine"
ITS OVER
wow, i've finished the book. i've so enjoyed wring this story and i hope you've enjoyed reading it. and good news is, BOOK TWO IS IN EDITING.
i hope if you enjoyed this then you'll enjoy the next instalment, but thank you so much for all the votes and reads! it's freaking crazy and i am so grateful.
