it started with a... (marcus rashford)

part 45 🦋

"i don't wanna do you and i"

"omg hello" i smiled brightly

jordan, kieran and kyle were standing in front of my door with tesco bags in each hand and a slight smirk on all of theyre faces. i gave them hugs and we walked into my living room to see trent sitting there with a smirk on his face.

"haz can i talk to you for a second?" kieran asked

"yeah sure" i said walking to my room

"whats up?" i said patting a spot besides me for him to sit

"so i um- charlotte cheated on me again" he said quietly, i didnt know what to say so i just shuffled closer to him and gave him a hug, i expected him to cry but he didnt

"can i stay with you, she kicked me out?" he asked with a hopeful smile

"of course, you can share with me until trent goes back to liverpool and then you can have his room, but im going on holiday on fridays, you can stay here while im away swell if you need to" i offered

"thank you so much" he smiled happily

"now come and spend time with your besties" i laughed and grabbed his hand dragging him out of my room

kieran ran into the living room and took the last spare seat and i just stood there with my arms crossed

"its really gonna be like this eh?" i laughed

"sit on my lap you cry baby" kyle said, i sat on his lap and he held me there while we watched a movie

my mind started to wander and i started to think about marcus,

'how could he do this to me?'

'was i not good enough'

'was i not pretty enough, skinny enough or what'

'did he ever love me'

'did he lie to me the whole time we were together'

i didnt even realise but a tear slipped out of my eye, i quickly wiped it off but kyle noticed

"haz whats wrong?" he said looking at me with worry written all over his face

"im just thinking about everything" i whispered

"come with me" kyle said lifting me off his lap and walking to my room

"talk to me h"

"well i met with marcus tonight and he told me all this shit about how we regretted what he did and how he misses me and him together and i just don't know anymore" i huffed

"don't know about what?" kyle quizzed

"i don't know how i feel"

"do you still love him?" kyle asked wearily

"see the thing is the first time he done this i forgave him because i love him, the next time he did it i found it harder to take him back its like i fell out of love a little bit more every time he did me wrong and now this time i don't feel anything, i used to look at him and it would make me happy but now i look at him and just see a normal guy, but someone ive never met, someone i don't know, because to be honest i don't know him anymore, i have no idea what happened to the marcus i met last summer." i gushed