LOVE STRUCK => outer banks => JJ

4) goodnight kisses.

I drove back to the otherside side of the island surveying what damage the hurricane did done here. It looked like absolutely nothing.
It makes me so mad that we have everything and our side could be up and running again within a week, while the cut most likely won't get electricity until the end of summer.

I pulled into my drive way to see Topper walking into my house.
As much as I really dislike my brothers friends, Topper I can tolerate for at least a few hours.
I walked in to see beer bottles and old blunts on the floor.
"Jesus B, I was gone for 24 hours and you turned the house into a shit hole."
"When did you turn into dad? Relax i'll have it cleaned." Brooklyn never seemed to take anything seriously anymore.
"Whatever.Topper, I hope Sarahs coming to the party tonight. It'd probably be a nightmare without her there."
It was true. Wether or not my friends likes Sarah, her and I have been best friends for almost as long as known JJ.
Long before I actually started hanging out with the pogues and disappeared from the whole "Country Club life style" Sarah and I were known as the kook princesses.
Now it's just her.
Still, that hasn't stopped Sarah from being friends with me even if i don't see her as much.
"Of course, but i'm sure Rafe will want to be with you since he told us you've been avoiding him." he responded.
"What? No." I scoffed and walked away avoiding the conversation.
I like to avoid things incase you couldn't tell.
Just as i was walking off Brooklyn grabbed my arm.
"Aspen just be careful please. I know Rafe and I know that he'll do whatever he has to for you to stay away from your friends if he finds out. Just be careful. You don't know what your dealing with, I do."
I'm just going to pretend like I didn't see the worry in my brothers eyes when he said that.
It's true though. If anyone, Brooklyn would know what Rafe is capable of doing.
"Thanks B, but I think I can handle it if it gets too far."
Hopefully I would be right about that.
*
"Hey baby." Rafe said as I walked out of the front door.
Even though it was pretty dark I had just a simple white sundress and high top black vans on.
"Where've you been? You barely talk to me anymore you know." He said as he opened the car door for me. I waited until he got in to speak. "I've just been really busy, surfing, stuff like that."
I've been surfing twice in the past month.
"With who? Sarah?" He said whole pulling out of my drive way.
"Uh no just... alone i guess."
More like with JJ.
"Alone? Asp I don't want you going surfing alone. I don't want you to get hurt."
"Okay dad." I said laughing. I had to brighten the mood before this turned into one of the many little lectures Rafe gives me about how I have to be safe.
Luckily he laughed at my joke.
It was quiet for a while before he decided to speak.
"You haven't seen JJ in a while have you?" He asked.
deny deny deny.
"Nope haven't talked to him in a long time either." I said. Hopefully that was enough reassurance for Rafe to just drop the subject of JJ for a while.
"Aspen i'm serious. You disappear for days and then you act like nothing happened. You blow me off and make excuses for it. I just don't want you around him and I really feel like you are."
I could tell he was really upset.
Sadness in Rafe soon turns into anger.
"Rafe, I was not with JJ. I haven't been with JJ, I promise."
Shit. Bad idea with the "promise"
"Okay. I believe you." He took his eyes of the road to look at me.
I felt like he was reading me.
"I love you Aspen, but I won't let him get in the middle of our relationship. I wont."
With that he put his focus back on the road.
If Rafe feels this way without even knowing i've been around JJ.
I'm scared to see how he'll react if he finds out.
*
As soon as we got to the party Rafe left me to go do whatever the drug of the night was.
I didn't care though. It's not like I really wanted to talk to Rafe especially after his latest bullshit.
I went to go find Sarah since no one else here was even slightly interested in talking to me.
I walked upstairs to the deck to hear shouting.
It sounded like Topper.
"Sarah is this a joke to you or something?"
"No! I'm just not ready yet."
I walked in before Topper really lost his Temper.
What is it with Kook boys and their anger issues?
"Uhm hope i'm not interrupting anything, sorry." I said slowly.
"No! Your not interrupting at all. Hey Asp."
Sarah got up quickly. She grabbed my arm and pulled me back through the door.
"Thank you so much." She said relieved.
"What did I just walk into?"
"Apparently Topper thinks i'm a prude because I won't have sex with him. I thought i was ready but I wasn't, and he freaked."
"Jesus, what the hell is wrong with our boyfriends. What kind of water are the drinking." We both laughed.
"Rafe still mad about you hanging out with JJ?" she said.
I may have forgot to mention Sarah know a about me and the pogues hanging out. Sarah isn't a snitch though.
"No, he doesn't even know I still talk to JJ, let alone see him! Imagine if he did. JJ would be dead. Literally."
I just wish Rafe would understand I cant stay away from JJ.
*
After catching up for a bit, Sarah and I walked down stairs to find the boys and a couple girls doing lines of coke on the coffee table.
Why am I not surprised Rafe if there.
I walked up to him and whispered in his ear.
"Rafe stop you know I hate when you do this stuff."
He looked at me and rolled his eyes.
"Aspen i'm fine."
"No your not fine you need to stop. i'm serious Rafe." I said it louder.
I grabbed his arm.
"Cmon we're leaving."
Just as i was dragging him off the couch, the roles reversed and he was the one pulling me away. He pulled me into the bathroom and locked the door.
"Aspen listen to me. You don't tell me what to do. It doesn't work like that. Your not my mom, your my girlfriend. It's embarrassing having you jump in and try to rescue me. It's a party. Lighten the fuck up and get wasted. Your so God damn boring you could use it."
Maybe it was the alcohol talking,
but I was still hurt.
"How come you can tell me I can't hang out with JJ I listen but whenever I tell you you shouldn't do hard core drugs you don't ever listen. It's not fair! I only ask for you to do one thing and you can't even do it. I'm so fucking tired of you thinking you can just control me and I'll be fine with it. It's not fine. You don't own me Rafe. I'm done."
I was crying now.
"Aspen, Im sorry I didn't mean to make you cry." He said.
It was too late though, I was already out the door.
I stopped by my brother to ask him for his keys and told him to find a ride home.
I needed to leave now.
*
I knocked on the door to JJ's house. I really hoped his dad wasn't here, even though he likes me more then JJ.
JJ opened the door with no shirt on.
"Asp what are you doing- shit are you crying."
I didn't want to talk. All I wanted was a hug.
I jumped into JJ's arms.
We just stood in the doorway for a few minutes before JJ picked me up bridal style and carried me to his room.
I guess his dad wasn't there.
"We don't have to talk about it but I can kinda guess it's about Rafe." He said while laying me down on his bed. He lied down next to me.
"I just don't think I want to be with him anymore." I said quietly.
JJ's eyes lit up.
"Then don't. Be with me." he laughed.
"It's not that easy. Rafe will kill you. He's already threatened before. Plus we have the rule."
"Fuck the rule and fuck Rafe."
JJ turned and looked at me.
"Who gives a shit what John B's gonna say he'll get over it, and as for Rafe, i'd really like to see him try to kill me." JJ said this confidently.
He doesn't know Rafe like I know him.
I really didn't know what to say.
At all. So I did something I knew I would really regret.
I pressed my lips against JJ's.
Just a little peck.
"We'll figure this out later on. Everything's too complicated right now especially with the treasure now too. Goodnight JJ."
"I'll just trust the process. Goodnight Aspen."
He said giving me a kiss on the forehead and wrapping his arms around me.
As JJ fell asleep all i could think about
was that I knew this was going to be the start of something very bad.

oops this chapter is so long sorry lol.