Rain || Choi Beomgyu

and ended

Dear Beom,

I'm sorry.

If you recieved this letter, it means you've started looking for me and found my home. But I only ask you one thing.

Please don't look for me.

I'm sorry if I've kept this a secret from you, but I'm sick. I've been expecting this day to come since I was young because none of us were able to avoid it.

I expected it, yet when I met you, you made me forget about it.

I've never told you about my family, right? I'm sorry I've refused to let you meet my family. My mother was victim to this illness that I also have now because its hereditary. She had passed away a year before I started middle school, so I've been living with only my dad. He's really nice, you know. I dreamt of the day I'd have you meet each other because I knew you'd get along really well! But... I couldn't.

I knew that he'd stop me from seeing you if he knew. You see, my illness started too early, about a month after we finally started going out, and he had forbidden me to get into a relationship for the sake of the other person.

I was selfish.

It was selfish of me to not let you go early on, and for that, I'm sorry.

When you told me you were gonna debut soon, I couldn't tell you anything. Because I knew the fact that you'd drop everything if you knew and I surely couldn't risk that.

When we met for the last time... I actually excaped from the hospital I'm staying in. Hahaha, I'm sure you'd be scolding me if you knew. But I really enjoyed it. I enjoy every moment I've spent with you, I truly treasure it, and I hoped I'd spent more time with you.

Sadly, I can't and I'm sorry for that.

Would it be selfish of me to ask to not look for me anymore?

Would it be selfish of me to tell you that I refuse to let you see me in the state I'd be in once you've read this?

I'm sorry.

I refuse to see your crying face in my last moments.

I refuse because I know I'd want more time that I won't be able to have.

I'm sorry Beom, I love you so much. Thank you for being the most awesome boyfriend ever! You've made me enjoy life more. You're the light of my life

I hope you have a successful debut and I hope you stay healthy! Live for me Beom, enjoy your life before we meet again.

From your beloved girlfriend,
Park Chaerin