Remember Me

10. Understandings

I don't hear Maya walk into the living room which gives her ample opportunity to sneak up on me. "Whatcha doing?" Her voice is right in my ear making me jump. On impulse I slam the laptop shut earning me a chuckle from my wife as she makes her way around the couch and takes a seat on the coffee table. "Did I interrupt something?" She asks, raising an eyebrow and for a moment the implication goes right over my head but when it lands my eyes widen.

"Wha-? No. Of course not. I-I don't do that." I stutter, moving my laptop onto the cushion beside me.

"I haven't let you touch me in a month. Don't gimmie that" she laughs, crossing her legs. They weren't long by any stretch of the imagination as my wife was adorably petite but still, the sight of them did things to me as impure thoughts of them wrapped around me entered my head.

"Okay" I clear my throat, sitting up straighter. "What I meant was that I don't...need my laptop for that particular-." I pause at a loss of words. She's staring at me, lips poised in a smirk and I really, really dislike her right now. "You know what I mean." I finish finally.

She breaks into laughter, nodding her head. "Yea. I got it. So you're not a visual person?"

"I have all the visuals I need" I tell her, pointing to my head and her cheeks turn bright red. I smile victoriously, standing up and taking her face between my hands, dropping a kiss to her lips. "Would you like something to eat?" I ask, changing the subject as we pull apart.

"I suppose I could eat. But only if you tell me what you were actually doing with your computer since you weren't using it for self-care." I scrunch my nose at her in disgust.

"Please do not ever use that phrase for that ever again." I plead, walking off to the kitchen. I hear her footsteps following me. "But since you asked, I was looking into therapists who specialize in PTSD." I turn away from the cupboard to find Maya looking at me with glossy eyes and my heart drops.

Had I said something wrong? Had she changed her mind in wanting me to get help? "I-I won't pursue it any further though if you don't want me to." I'm interrupted by her lips crashing onto mine making me stumble back into the counter in surprise. The kiss isn't insistent or impatient but instead steady and slow, her lips parting to mine with soft moans escaping the back of her throat. I slip my hand to the back of her neck, pulling her face closer in order to kiss her even deeper and having her pressed against me...it's exactly why I'll never need a computer or visuals as my wife had put it.

Her hands grab onto my waist, her fingers working at the hem of my shirt and the sound of my blood rushing in my ears and the feel of her small body against mine-. "Maya-." I murmur into the kiss.

"Shut up" she replies, pulling away fully and grabbing the hem of my shirt. "Do you want me?" She asks, her hand stalling as her blue eyes linger on mine.

I caress her cheek, rubbing my thumb across her skin. "Always." I pause. "But we shouldn't rush back into this...as much as I really fucking want to." I sigh, leaning back against the countertop effectively putting space between us.

She purses her lips, taking a step back and nodding her head. "You're right. I-I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" My eyebrows furrow as I snap back to attention.

"Yea. I shouldn't be throwing myself at you like this...again. It isn't fair to you-." Her eyes tear up as she speaks and my head begins to spin just as fast as it was when we were just kissing before.

"Fair to me? Maya, no. This has nothing to do with me. I'm just afraid that if we rush things you'll get overwhelmed or then feel some obligation to stay with me even if you decide you don't still want me-."