From empty to anger|| Spelmer

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For the DEH fans out there: I was listening to Requiem and thought: what if Jack was in Connor's place (dead) after what happened at the rally, who would be Cynthia, Larry and Zoe? I though about Crutchie as Cynthia, Pulitzer as Larry and Race as Zoe...
Davey would probably be Evan and Les would be Jared. Katherine would be Heidi and Elmer would be Alana. I don't know where my thoughts go anymore...

TW: Mention of suicide attempt/thoughts

~ F

Do you know that feeling? You're not necessarily sad or angry, but your just... empty. That's how Spot felt. It hadn't been a bad day, but he wasn't going to say that it had been a good day. He got out of bed, had breakfast, went to work, went home, had dinner with his amazing boyfriend and then sat on the couch. Elmer was amazing. He balanced his work at the hospital with his personal live like he would never get tired and Spot didn't know how he did it and stayed happy doing it.
"Are you okay, baby?" Elmer asked as he sat next to Spot. Spot nodded in response, because he didn't really feel like talking. Elmer laid his head on Spot's chest and curled into him. They sat there watching some random episodes from random series. Elmer fell asleep after only a few episodes, which made Spot smile. Elmer looked really peaceful and just as beautiful as always. The sight filled the emptiness he had a little.

*time skipping to the next day somewhere around 8 pm*

"THERE IS NOTHING WRONG!" Spot yelled at Elmer. Hurt showed in Elmer's eyes. Spot was keeping something from him and he knew it, but he couldn't figure out what was wrong. 
"If there's nothing wrong, why weren't you happy when I came home!" Elmer yelled back, but a little softer. "You haven't shown any emotion in two days!" Spot took a step back and balled his hands into fists. He knew that Elmer was right, but the truth was that nothing was actually wrong. Well... Except for the emptiness he felt inside of him. Spot's eyes widened as he saw Elmer grab is jacket and walk towards the door.
"Where are you going?" Spot asked softly not wanting Elmer to leave.
"I'll be at Henry and Button's. I need some air." Elmer didn't wait for a reaction before walking out of their apartment. 

Spot fell down on the couch. His one true love had just left their apartment. He felt lost. His light had left. He didn't want to let go, because he wasn't that strong. 

~

Elmer stood in front of his friends' apartment waiting till the door opened. Tears were falling down his cheeks, but he didn't notice. There was a chill in his bones when the door opened and a concerned looking Henry looked him up and down. Henry let him in without saying a word.
"Hey Elms!" Buttons said cheery, but the smile on his face fell as the shaking boy stopped in the middle of the room before falling to his knees. Both Henry and Buttons ran over to him and wrapped him in a hug while whispering comforting words. 
"What happened?" Henry asked when Elmer had calmed down.
"H- had a fight." Elmer let out shakily. 
"With Spot?" Buttons asked to be sure. Elmer nodded, but didn't say anything else. Henry let out a quiet 'damn it' before pulling Elmer up and guiding him to their couch. They sat there for a while before Elmer stood up again and walked towards the bathroom. He went in and locked the door. 

~

"Damn it, Spot, come here NOW." Buttons didn't even take the time to say hello. It had taken him four calls before Spot decided to pick up. 
"What's wrong?" Spot asked while he grabbed a jacket and left their apartment. 
"Elmer has locked himself in the bathroom and hasn't come for half an hour." Spot could hear Henry trying to get Elmer to open the door in the background. 
"Shit." Spot muttered. "I'm almost there." He was glad that Henry and Buttons only lived a block away from them. He knocked on the door and Buttons opened it in just a few seconds. 
"Just that Elmer needs you now doesn't mean that I will let you out this easy." Buttons send a glare, but Spot dismissed it. Elmer was his number one priority now. 
"Elmer, baby, please open the door." Spot said softly while sending a thankful look to Henry. Those boys were like brothers to Elmer and Spot didn't want to know what would have happened if they weren't here. 
"Spot?" A soft voice came from the other side. "Go away." the voice turned emotionless in a tenth of a second.
"Please." Spot pleaded. 
Spot heard a soft click of the door unlocking, but the door wasn't opened, so he opened it. Spot saw Elmer laying on the floor with a break through. There was a small razor laying on the ground, but there was no blood yet. Spot let out a breath he didn't knew he was holding. He pulled Elmer in.
"Please don't leave me." Spot pleaded again. He knew that he came just in time. A minute later and he would be to late. Spot took Elmer's hand and placed it to his heart. He knew that it calmed Elmer whenever he felt like this.
"I'll make it right." Spot whispered before Elmer passed out from pure exhaustion.


Yes I know it is short. This story is partly inspired by 'Hold on' from Chord Overstreet and partly by how my brain works. (Elmer being one part and Spot the other.) Have a nice day y'all.

~ F

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