Every Flight Counts

Kabanata 23

What will you do

Laking pasasalamat ko at ipinagpabukas niya na lang ang sinasabi niyang rehearsal ng date.

I find it hard to sleep that night. Palipat-lipat ako ng baling sa kama. I am so fucking confused. And... nervous. I don't even have the confidence to sort out my thoughts because I'm afraid at what I'll be concluding.

For pete's sake, Zaid is my friend. And I've never treasured a friendship so much before like how I value what we have now. Napaka-importante niya para sakin at ayokong ikompromiso iyon para sa bagay na hindi ko alam kung saan patungo.

And also, for pete's sake again, Zaid is Spencer's friend. In other words, Spencer is Zaid's friend. I don't know but as I try to think about it deeper, I just find things really complicated. Ayoko pa naman sa lahat yung pinahihirapan yung sarili ko sa kakaisip kaya pinilit ko na lang matulog ang sarili ko.

It wasn't such a good and a sound sleep for me though. Kaya't kinabukasan pakiramdam ko'y medyo lutang pa ko. Pagdating ko nga sa room ay yumuko lang ako sa table hanggang sa hindi na namalayang nakaidlip na.

Kung hindi pa siguro ko ginising ni Yael nang dumating na ang prof ay baka tulog pa rin ako.

I found my self peaking a glimpse of Zaid from time to time. I would always see him just directly looking in front though. There was no hint of humor on his face today. No playful remarks. No goofy moments. In short, my day, so far, is no fun. It was dreadful.

"That's it for today. See you next meeting," wika ng prof sa last subject.

Bago nagpaalam si Yael ay nagtanong pa siya kung may sakit daw ba ko. Ang tamlay ko raw kasi. Nang sinabi kong wala at ayos lang naman ako ay ayaw niya pa sanang maniwala. Kung di ko pa siya pinagtulakan ay ayaw pa sanang umuwi.

Kakalabas pa lang ni Yael nang may mamataan ako sa gilid ng mata ko. Agad na bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko.

Seryoso ang mukha ni Zaid habang papalapit sa akin. He sure looks dashing when he's being quirky and funny but he's damn more appealing when he's being like this. Napalunok ako lalo na nang maramdamang kaming dalawa na lang pala ang natira dito.

Nanigas ako sa kinauupuan ko nang nilahad niya ang kamay niya.

"Let me carry your bag,"

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Huh?"

He raised his brow. "Your bag," he glanced at it. "Give it to me,"

I mentally roled my eyes before I sighed. "Zaid, you know I don't like it when other people carry my stuff. It's so unnecessary,"

He didn't bulge.

"I know. But this is surely what your prince charming will do during your date," he stated as a matter of fact. "What will you do when this happens then?" hamon niya.

My lips parted when I remembered that moment when Spencer offered to carry my tote bag during the forum. I mentally cringed as I reminisce how I just let him do it. I feel like I was too carried away by my fascination.

I was never a fan of ladies who always make their guys carry their things. I mean, I don't really have a problem with that though. Kung yun ang gusto nila ay ayos lang naman. But personally, I just don't like it. May sariling kamay naman ako. Para saan pa ito kung hindi ko rin pala gagamitin lalo na kung magaan lang naman.

I sighed in defeat as I realize that knowing Spencer, this will probably be our scenario. Wala sa loob na inabot ko kay Zaid ang bag ko.