Sapling

and why the truth hurts

Novica: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! DIE! DIE! DIE!
[Novica jumps to her feet and starts running around the kitchen screaming. Loren looks terrified and puts her hands to her head.]
Loren: No! No! Not now, Novie, please not now, not now of all times, not now when I can barely hold myself upright, not now when every second I feel like I'm gonna collapse-
Novica: COLLAPSE. DIE! COLLAPSE COLLAPSE DIE! DIE LOREN DIE!
Loren: No, Novica, no, I will not die, not when so many times I've wanted to, not when I'm already dead inside.
Novica: DEAD! DEAD! LOREN IS DEAD! LOREN IS DEAD AND SHE WILL DIE!
Loren: Mm. Sometimes, I wish I could. You're babbling, Novica, saying nothing but nonsense.
Novica: NONSENSE! LOVE NONSENSE. DIE! DIE NONSENSE DIE LOREN DIE DIE DIE! COLLAPSE LOREN COLLAPSE!
Loren: I will if you'll catch me.
Novica: CATCH LOREN! CATCH LOREN DIE! DAMN DAMN DAMN LOREN! LOVE LOREN DAMN!
Loren: What did you just say?
Novica: LOVE LOREN. LOVE-LOVE LOREN.
[Novica stops running and looks at her sisling. The whites of her eyes are showing and she is clearly not herself. Loren lets out a deep breath when she sees that Novica is standing still.]
Loren: Uh, love Novica.
Novica: LOVE LOREN.
Loren: Love Novica.
Novica: LOVE LOREN.
Loren: Love Novica.
Novica: LOVE LOREN.
Loren: You monkey.
Novica: MONKEY! MONKEY!
Loren: Sit down, will you, let me talk some sense into that demented brain of yours.
Novica: DEMENTED! DEMENTED?
Loren: For goodness' sake, will you just sit down?
Novica: Demented.
Loren: Uh huh. That's what you are right now. Now get your bottom on that chair or I swear I will leave this house and never come back.
Novica: Leave. Why leave?
Loren: Cuz I can't stand you anymore!
Novica: Loren leave?
Loren: I dunno. I dunno. You've calmed down a bit now. No. No, I can't forget my promise to mamling. I gotta stay.
Novica: Demented. Novica demented.
Loren: C'mon, let's get you up to bed and when you wake up the tantrum'll be full over and your brain'll be working proper again.
Novica: Demented.
Loren: Can you say something other than demented?
Novica: Love Loren.
Loren: Yeah, that's better. Here, let me lift you. You're getting heavy but I think I can still lift you. Sorry if I lost my temper a bit back there.
[Loren lifts Novica, who leans against her sisling as if exhausted, still mumbling. Loren starts to carry her up the stairs.]
Novica: Werd dead?
Loren: Oh, so you remember what I was just telling you. That's damn weird. Seems like most parts of your brain are working, but some-never mind. Yeah. Werd's dead, got decapitated while I sat and watched and there was damn all I could do 'bout it.
Novica: His head was cut off. He had no head.
Loren: No head, that's right. The blood was everywhere. I vomited all over Werd's mamling, who I had to sit next to.
Novica: Poor Lorie.
Loren: Are you yourself again so quick?
Novica: I dunno. What just happened?
Loren: Oh, thank goodness, Novie. You threw a tantrum is what happened.
Novica: Oh, no, Lorie, I'm so sorry!
Loren: No, it ain't your fault. You can't help it. I needa stop blaming you for everything is all.
[The sislings reach Novica's bedroom, where Loren lays her sisling on the bed and tucks her up.]
Loren: You ok?
Novica: Uh huh. You ok?
Loren: Mm. I've been better.
Novica: What do I say to you, Lorie? What do I say? Does it hurt you? Or do I just scream?
Loren: You wouldn't like to know.
Novica: Yes, I would.
Loren: Fine then. You tell me to die or that I'm dead, you tell me to collapse, you damn me, and then... then you tell me you love me.
Novica: I tell you to die?
Loren: Your unconscious, Novie, is apparently obsessed with death. My fault. I guess it's just everything I've subjected you to. Mamling's death and Papling's death and now Edwerd Ling's death, who you didn't even have anything to do with. All my fault.
Novica: He looked at me, Lorie. Through the window. And I didn't even know it.
Loren: He liked the look of you. He said so. I think you would've liked him, if you'd ever got the chance to meet him.
Novica: And now I never will. Cuz he's dead. Was murdered by society and by idiots.
Loren: Too right, Novie. D'you wanna go to bed still and full recover from the tantrum? Or, I guess we could do some education. Like standard Lingish lessons.
Novica: No, not standard Lingish! I couldn't focus anyways. I can't stop thinking 'bout your Werd.
Loren: He wasn't mine, Novie. In truth he belonged to his mamling and papling, so I s'pose they could do what they liked with him. But that don't excuse it! He was an individual, hadn't done nothing wrong 'cept loving a girl. And for that, he did not deserve to die.
Novica: He was right, wasn't he, Lorie?
Loren: He was right 'bout everything. But what d'you mean, in particular?
Novica: When he said his mamling and papling don't got feelings, but they ain't psychopaths.
Loren: You listen well, huh, Novie. Yeah. He was right 'bout that. Now. Enough 'bout Werd. What about some standard Lingish, to take your mind off him?
Novica: Ugh. Fine, then, Lorie, if I must.
Loren: Come here, then.
[Loren lifts Novica out of bed and carries her back downstairs. They both sit down at the kitchen table, and Loren takes out a book.]
Loren: Where'd we get up to?
Novica: Uh, I think it was the past perfect. Whatever that is.
Loren: You'd know if you ever paid any attention.
Novica: You gonna start doing your standard Lingish already?
Loren: In a sec. Just flipping to the page... there. Got it. Do you wanna-that is, do you want to-read that section there for me? The part titled "What is the past perfect?"
Novica: Sure. Ok, here goes. "The past perfect, also called the pluperfect, is a tense used to describe an action that happened at some point in the past before something else happened. It is formed with the past tense of the verb 'to have' and the past participle of the verb."
Loren: Do you remember what the past participle is?
Novica: Uh huh. To do becomes did, to be becomes was, to walk becomes walked. 'Part from the exceptions like the first two I said, the rule is, add "-ed".
Loren: That's right, Novie! Good girl. Now, read me out the example down below.
Novica: Uh...
Loren: Is there an example?
Novica: Yeah, there is. "Josie was disappointed to discover that her little broling had drawn all over her bedroom wall."
Loren: I'm glad you've never done that on my wall. Ok. Which word in that sentence is the past tense of the verb "to have"?
Novica: Errr... wait for it... had.
Loren: Yes, that's correct. What about the past participle of the verb "to draw"?
Novica: Drawn.
Loren: Well done! Right, now you can get on with the exercises on the other side of the page.
Novica: Ugh. Exercises.
Loren: Practice makes perfect. It also makes the past perfect, so get on.
Novica: Hey, that's a good joke. Practice makes past perfect.
Loren: I'll make tea.
[Loren gets up and puts the kettle on. While Novica struggles with the exercises, she calmly makes some tea. But every movement Novica makes causes her to wince, as she receives a pang of pain at the fact that her sisling knows her sin. How can she continue so calmly knowing that her sisling has caused the death of a boy?]
Novica: "Put this sentence into the past perfect tense. I like to learn standard Lingish"-ugh, as if-"and so does my sisling." That's hard.
Loren: No, it isn't. Just break it down. "I like to learn": what's that in the past perfect?
Novica: I had liked to learn, I think.
Loren: You think right. And what about the rest? Ignore the standard Lingish part because that stays the same in the present and past perfect. But what about "so does my sisling"?
Novica: I dunno.
Loren: Well, think. I'll give you a clue. The only word that changes is "does".
Novica: I had liked to learn standard Lingish and so had my sisling. Hey, that sounds right!
Loren: It is right. Well done, Novie.
Novica: Yay! Ok, I'll do the rest.
Loren: Without my help, ideally.
Novica: I'll try.
[Having made her tea, Loren sits down and sips it every so often as she watches Novica work. But suddenly she can't bare it any longer. She grabs Novica's chin and steers it around so that they are each looking at each other straight on.]
Loren: DO YOU FORGIVE ME, Novie? Tell me you do! Tell me you do and maybe-damn, maybe (I hate myself, I hate myself, so much, so much... I love you Novie! I love you I love you!)-I can forgive myself too! I can't live with it anymore! Not with you staying so quiet, neither, like you don't know nothing more 'bout me than you did before... please, the truth, the truth! Am I a horrible person, Novie? Am I a monster? Tell me I'm not!
Novica: Ok, ok, Lorie, close your eyes and count to ten else you'll lose control for sure!
Loren: I-no-no-(I'M A FIEND A DAMN MONSTER I SHOULD JUST DIE AND GO TO HELL I AS GOOD AS KILLED WERD FOR GOODNESS' SAKE IF IT WEREN'T FOR ME HE'D BE ALIVE ALIVE ALL MY FAULT ALL MY FAULT HUMANS AIN'T FULL CRUEL CREATURES HOW CAN I BE HUMAN AND THIS CRUEL I'M DYING DYING I'M A MONSTER I'M A MONSTER NOVIE HELP ME HELP ME PLEASE)
Novica: Deep breaths, ok? What's going on inside your head, Lorie?
Loren: You... don't wanna know. (SAVE ME SAVE ME FROM ALL OF THIS TELL ME I AIN'T A MONSTER NOVIE TELL ME TELL ME NOW)
Novica: Start counting. C'mon, Lorie!
Loren: It's... too much...
Novica: What is? Tell me! Are you gonna die? Are you dying?
Loren: Am I a monster?
Novica: No! No, you ain't! You're just unlucky, is all! As far as your input in Werd's death goes, it was an accident. You couldn't have known.
Loren: But I could! I'm an idiot!
[Loren lets out a high pitched wail, before passing out. Her head slumps on the table, knocking the mug of tea over. It smashes on the floor. Novica puts her hands to her face, terrified and unsure of what to do.]
Novica: Lorie! Come back to me, Lorie! Oh, no. Why didn't you count? I told you to count and you didn't! Are you dead? Are you actually dead? Please, no, please. I can't lose you too. I'd be all alone... on my own, scared half to death. And I couldn't take it. I know I couldn't.
[Novica tries shaking her sisling, but Loren does not stir. She then proceeds to bang her head on the table, realising that she can feel another tantrum coming on.]
Novica: I gotta control myself, I gotta! For Lorie's sake. Usually, if I throw a tantrum, Lorie's there to make sure I don't do anything stupid, but now she's fainted, maybe dead. I gotta... hold on... don't give up, girl, keep going, you're fine, Lorie will wake up and she'll hug you and we'll be ok, both ok.
Damn it, I forgot to tell her! Is that why she screamed like that? I told her she ain't a monster, but I didn't say I forgive her. One hundred per cent. 'Course I'd forgive you, Lorie. Why'd you ever doubt that? Don't you have no faith in me?
I guess you were in a crazed state is all, couldn't really hear what I was saying. I don't blame you one bit. After reliving Werd's death and me telling you to die, you just... snapped. Didn't you, Lorie? But you'll come back together. I know you will. Fight, Lorie, fight! I'll fight too. Fight this damn tantrum...
C'mon, Novica. Come on.
[At that moment there is a tentative knock on the door. Novica colours up, at first, and doesn't seem to want to leave her sisling. She kisses Loren on the forehead and, deciding that for now, at least, she's fought off the tantrum, she runs out of the kitchen to the front door and throws it open.]
Novica: Oh. Um. Hello, Mr Haughton.
[The man standing in the doorway looks very frightened. He tries to peer past Novica into the house. But Novica does her best to look grown-up, and watches Mr Haughton quietly, waiting for him to speak. He clears his throat. "I... do apologise for such an intrusion, Miss Seen. But, a few minutes ago I heard a very loud scream coming from your house and I, err... that is, I came to see if there was anything the matter." Novica's face pales with evident relief as soon as the words are spoken, and without even a though to whether she can trust him, she drags Mr Haughton into the house.]
Novica: Please, sir, it's my sisling Loren. She made the scream you heard and then, well, she passed out. And I'm so scared! Is she dead? Tell me she's alive, I beg of you!
[In a fit of crazed fear Novica grabs Mr Haughton's arm. He looks extremely alarmed, and pulls away. "You... um... you don't, exactly-what I mean to say is that you do not look exactly calm either, Miss Seen."]
Novica: Please, call me Novica.
["Well, Novica, I need you to calm down as well, because if you pass out as well then where would we be?" He takes a nervous glance at Loren. "Your sisling's alive. She's just fainted. She'll wake up soon, I-promise you."]
Novica: But how do you know? How could you know?
[Mr Haughton looks uncomfortable. "Trust me, Novica. I used to be a remedier. I know signs of a faint when I see them. And, you can-see her chest moving up and down. Can you see? She's breathing." Novica looks, and immediately collapses into a chair.]
Novica: She's alive. It's fine. She's alive. I was so sure, so sure I'd be alone for the rest of my sorry life, starting now. But my Lorie is alive. She's gonna wake up, I'm gonna tell her I forgive her, and she'll never give a thought to Werd ever again. I dunno if that's even possible. Well, it can be. It shall be.
[Novica looks up with a start.]
Novica: Oh, I am sorry, Mr Haughton! I forgot you were still here.
[He shifts from one foot to another. "Novica," he says, forcing himself to look into her eyes. "Would you like me to stay until she wakes up? Or if you want to be alone, that's fine too." He clearly prefers the second option, but Novica does not notice. She throws her arms around her unconscious sisling.]
Novica: Oh yes, do stay! I'll be scared again if I'm on my own. Thinking she'll never wake up, even though you've told me she will, and it's not that I don't trust you, it's just-
[She gazes up at him, and swallows, and hugs Loren even more tightly.]
Novica: You're really scared of us, aren't you? At least, that's what I thought, and Lorie said it was right.
[Mr Haughton goes a bit pale. "I'm sorry, Novica, I really am," he says apologetically. "It's your sisling, not you. No, I should never think that just being of the same blood should make you of a similar mind. I do want to help you. But she-" he glances across at Loren, "-is keeping everyone else from looking after you."
Novica: Whatever do you mean? And why? You said you're scared of Loren, not me, but you didn't say why. Unless you mean...
["Has she not told you?" Mr Haughton says, surprised.]
Novica: She's told me something. I don't know if it's the same thing you're thinking about.
["Well anyway," pursues Mr Haughton, "I presume you have heard about the death of a certain Edwerd Ling two years ago." He looks at Novica expectantly, and after a brief hesitation she nods. "Well, the Lings refused to comment on the matter, but a rumour did begin to circulate-a rumour that your sisling, Loren, murdered Edwerd Ling. I don't know who started it; it might have been the Lings themselves for all I know, but we all believed it. I believe it." Novica looks up with sudden passion.]
Novica: So that's why everyone hates us so much! Damn it, I should have known. No, she didn't tell me that. What she told me was the truth.
[She glares at Mr Haughton, who winces at the fire in her gaze.]
Novica: My sisling didn't murder Edwerd Ling, Mr Haughton. The Lings themselves arranged his execution, and he was decapitated before Loren's eyes. They killed him. Loren didn't have nothing to do with it! I bet they started that rumour, too, cuz they didn't want anyone knowing the truth.
[Mr Haughton watches her carefully, and a little sadly. "I'm so sorry, Novica, but what you have just related is just the sort of thing a guilty murderer would say to protest their innocence. I think your sisling may be lying to you. I don't like to say this to you, but I think she must have desperately wanted your trust, and didn't want you knowing the real story in case you turned against her. Sorry to bring this up, Novica, but you have behavioural problems, don't you? Novica?"
Novica has turned away from him to look at the still unconscious Loren. Before he can say another word, she hisses at him, very quietly.]
Novica: Get away from me.
["Novica-"]
Novica: I said, get outta my sight! Don't you dare say those things to me! My Lorie would never lie to me like that, never! I believe you about the rumour, cuz it explains a lot, that when people look at her they see a murderer-but it was just a stupid rumour! There ain't nothing to say it's true.
[Mr Haughton puts a hand on her shoulder. She turns to him, venom in her stare. "I really never meant to anger you," he says gently. "I was just expressing my opinion, and if you don't agree with it, well, that's your opinion, isn't it? But please, I'm not your enemy; no one in this city is your enemy. Your sisling may well be telling the truth, but I can tell nothing from your retelling. I'd have to hear it from her."]
Novica: Yes, ok, I know. I'm sorry. 'Course people got the right to their own opinions, so if you wanna believe that rumour, I guess you can. Just don't talk to me 'bout it, cuz I told you, it ain't true.
["Perhaps she might care to speak to me after she wakes up?" Mr Haughton asks tentatively. "I don't know if you know, but many have tried to get hold of Loren to hear her side of the story. But every time she has hidden herself away and refused to say a word. So maybe-?" He is still trying to hide his fear at the notion of speaking with Loren.]
Novica: She'll talk if she wants to, which she might not. I know she don't trust you. Not personal-it's just she don't trust no one but me. So... I don't know. The answer is I don't know. Hopefully. But she got pretty emotional when she was telling it to me, that's what made her faint. Oh, damn it. Mr Haughton, can I tell you something?
[The man has started to shake, unable to hide it any longer. "Of course. You can tell me anything and I'll listen."]
Novica: She thinks the whole thing's her fault, when it ain't. She was screaming at me, really breaking down. It was terrifying. She wanted me to tell her I forgive her, and that she ain't a monster. And I was trying to tell her, but she wasn't listening, and then she made that real loud scream you heard and collapsed. Does that sound like a murderer to you?
["I take your point," says Mr Haughton tentatively. "But I really think I should just talk to Loren-" He looks down at the girl, still motionless on the table, and gulps. Novica notices and sighs.]
Novica: Y'know what, Mr Haughton? Why don't you just go. If you're so scared, I won't make you stay. You know you could never talk to Lorie, so don't make yourself. I don't need you. She'll wake up. Just go.
[Mr Haughton approaches the door without a word, and Novica watches him with satisfaction written all over her face. But at that moment, something happens to stop each in their tracks.]
Loren: Novie? Novie, 's that you?
Novica: Oh Lorie, you're awake! You're awake! Oh, no-I'm so sorry-I told him, I told him, I told him the truth, but he don't believe me, and now he wants to talk to you and I don't know what to do-
Loren: Hey, slow down. What you talking 'bout?
Novica: H-h-him...
[Novica shakily points at Mr Haughton, who stopped when he saw that Loren had woken. She begins to weep on her sisling. Loren looks alarmed.]
Loren: Hey, hey, it's ok. Shh. Calm down. I'm here now.
Novica: I know you are, Lorie... it's just I... I though you were dead!
Loren: But I'm not. I'm not, I'm not, I'm here to look after you no matter what.
[Mr Haughton moves back towards them. "Miss Seen..." he mumbles. Loren stiffens at the sound of his voice.]
Loren: Now, I don't know why you're here, Mr Haughton, but I'd appreciate it if you left immediately.
Novica: Yes, Lorie! Just what I was trying to say.
["I do apologise for this intrusion," begins Mr Haughton, "but as I've already told Novica, I'd quite like to speak with you-"]
Loren: No you wouldn't. I might kill you. Isn't that right? Aren't I just a cold-blooded feeling-less psychopath murderer?
[Mr Haughton takes a step backwards. "No, I didn't say that," he says, wincing. "I will speak with you, if you will let me. I'm not-afraid."]
Loren: Yeah right. You're damn terrified. You didn't say it-you're thinking it, though.
[Loren sets her jaw, and slowly she sits up on the table to face him. He looks mildly annoyed. "I am not," he pleads. "I repeat my question: will you speak with me, Miss Seen?"]
Loren: I'll never forgive you, never. If it weren't for you he'd be alive.
Novica: Lorie?
Loren: Quiet, Novie. I'll speak with you, if only to make you realise what you've done.
Novica: Lorie, what you talking 'bout?
[Loren sighs.]
Loren: Oh, Novie. I should've told you, really, when I told you everything else. It would have stopped you trusting this man. Y'know I said the Lings asked for whereabouts of their sonling in return for a large reward? Well, Mr Haughton saw us in town kissing, and he told 'em.
He got the reward. And was the second domino in Werd's death-myself being the first. The Lings being the third.
[Mr Haughton clears his throat. "Please, Loren," he implores. "I don't know what I believe anymore. But if I'd known that action would cause a death, I would certainly never have done it." Loren puts up her hand to tell him to be quiet.]
Loren: I will speak with you. Do not call me by my first name.
[She turns to her sisling.]
Loren: Novie, if you could go up and play in your bedroom, that would be a big help. That sound good?
Novica: No. I wanna hear what you guys are gonna talk 'bout!
Loren: Mr Haughton and I would like some privacy. It's nothing to do with you, don't worry.
Novica: Then why can't I stay?
Loren: Err... various reasons. Please, Novie, it would help us out so much.
Novica: Uhhh. Fine. But Lorie, why'd you need to talk to him anyways? You just said you'll never forgive him.
Loren: And I won't. I just wanna try to convince somebody-'cept you, Novie-of the truth. If he won't believe me then damn, that's his problem not mine.
[Mr Haughton has been standing quietly throughout this conversation. Now he moves forward and quietly sits down. Loren slides off the table and takes a seat opposite him. "Thank you, Miss Seen," he says awkwardly.]
Loren: No need to thank me. I'm only really doing it for myself. Novie-out.
Novica: Okay, okay, I'm going already! But Lorie-you gotta tell me what happens after.
Loren: Yeah, I will. Seeya, Novie.
[Novica sulkily leaves the room.]
Loren: So.
["So," agrees Mr Haughton. "Can you maybe start by telling me your version of the story, start to finish?"]
Loren: Well, I can try. But Mr Haughton?
["Yes?"]
Loren: I'm just warning you about something. What I'm about to tell you is the truth. A hundred percent.
[Loren pauses to take a breath. Mr Haughton, opposite, takes the opportunity to interject: "And...?"]
Loren: And the truth hurts. Anyone could tell you that. But why would you believe them, right?
Well, here's why. It's gonna hurt you more 'n any of the rumours circulated by the Lings.
And that tells you something, don't it?
It's gonna gives you heart ache.
And by that, you know it's the truth.
Why'd I lie about something I've spent hours weeping over? Why'd I lie 'bout something that's killed me inside?
For pity, I hear you say.
Well, no. I don't cry for pity. I cry that I'm alone in this. I cry that the whole damn city is set against me for a lie.
The truth hurts, Mr Haughton. You better believe it.