Sapling

i am a wild thing. tame me if you dare.

Novica: Let go of me, you monsters! Let go!
[Novica struggles and struggles, but the hands that hold her are strong, and she has no hope of escaping. After she stepped on Mirtin's foot and bit his hand, Iron Bryon took over holding her, and that was ten times worse. Bryon has a grip that's like ice, and Novica thinks he must be cutting off her blood flow, but she continues to struggle, for Loren's sake. She tries to bite Bryon's hand but his skin is tough and her teeth do little more than scratch him. She wants to give in to the tantrum that she can feel coming, but she holds on, knowing that she can fight more effectively when she's in her right mind.]
Novica: You brutes! Lorie's not gonna like this. She ain't gonna like this one bit.
["And what's she gonna do about it, huh?" Bryon grunts in reply. He tightens his hold on Novica's arm until she screams in pain. Then he loosens it a little. "That'll teach you to insult me, you little piece of dirt," he spits. Novica falls silent, holding her anger deep inside herself. Mirtin watches the whole thing quietly, and feels slightly ashamed of his companion's brutality, but then his hand throbs again from where Novica bit it, and he quickly releases the shame.
As the more gullible of the two, Mirtin worries that he will be dead the next day because Loren will keep her promise and kill him and Bryon in their beds, but he tries not to let it put him off. As they turn the corner he sees the black car waiting to drive them to Roseling's, the childerling-home Novica is put down for.
A stern expression passes over Novica's face as the car comes into view. When they reach it, she plants her feet on the pavement and refuses to get in. No amount of Bryon's squeezing or pushing or shoving will make her give up her fight. Mirtin clears his throat and steps forward. "Leave this to me," he hisses to Bryon.
"Novica?" No reply. "Will you tell me why you don't want to get in the car?" Still no reply. "We're taking you to a very nice place called Roseling's. The whole building is pink. Imagine that! And it's filled with lots of other little girls who are just like you. They don't have any relatives who are old enough to take care of them."]
Novica: But Lorie's an alderling! This law don't make no sense. Why's it twenty, and not eighteen?
[Mirtin and Bryon exchange glances. They decide not to tell Novica the real reason, which is that putting the law at twenty means that the Seens will be separated, and the Lings hope that a childerling-home will talk some sense into Novica's head and gently wean her off her sisling's ideals and onto theirs. Essentially, the Lings want to make Novica believe that her sisling is a murderer, so that she will never trust Loren again.
With no knowledge of this real reason, Novica is confused, angry and frustrated. She tells herself she won't get in the car until she knows why the law is what it is. Mirtin sighs. "Well, Novica," he improvises, "the Lings just think that twenty-year-olds are more responsible that eighteen-year-olds, which stands to reason, doesn't it? They want to make sure that all childerlings get proper educations and are taken care of in the right way. Some eighteen- and nineteen-year-olds might be incapable of good childerling care."]
Novica: Well Lorie can look after me just fine. She feeds me and she even gives me education although I don't go to school. I learn all sorts of things, like the history of Ling and Standard Lingish. Listen: "The past perfect, also called the pluperfect, is a tense used to describe an action that happened at some point in-"
["Yes, very good, very good," Mirtin interrupts. "But in order to be quite sure that Loren is capable of childerling care, we would have to supervise her looking after you for at least a week, if not more. We'd have to do that for all of the eighteen- and nineteen-year-olds in Ling, wouldn't we?" Bryon nods in agreement, but Novica looks even more annoyed.]
Novica: Just do that then.
[Mirtin looks lost. "I beg your pardon?"]
Novica: Just supervise Lorie for a week or two, and then when you're sure she can do good childerling care you can go and I won't have to go to some stupid childerling-home.
["Ah, well, you see," Mirtin tries to explain, "that would be extremely inconvenient, maybe impossible. Ling is a large city, containing hundreds of eighteen- and nineteen-year-olds. To do what you have just described could take years. We do not have the staff to do it quickly." Meanwhile, Bryon is getting impatient.
He picks Novica up, ignoring the pain as her flailing legs collide with his face, and lifts her into the car. Novica grumbles her indignation, but both Bryon and Mirtin ignore her. Bryon gets in the back with Novica-"Just to make sure she doesn't try to break a window and escape," he reassures Mirtin-while the other gets in the front beside the driver, a sullen bespectacled man wearing a black suit that matches his car.
The driver revs up the engine. "Fasten your seatbelt," Bryon instructs Novica, who is looking at the contraption with quiet loathing. When hearing Bryon's words, she turns on him angrily.]
Novica: But I ain't never been in a car before! What's a s-s-"seatbelt"?
[Bryon looks at her, surprised. "You've never been in a car before?" he asks. Novica shakes her head.]
Novica: Nuh-uh. Never.
["Well then." Bryon doesn't really know what to say. He helps Novica to fasten her seatbelt as the car pulls out from its parking space and starts moving down the road. Novica feels the same exhilarating sensation Loren felt when she first went in a car with Werd, when they were driving to the wilderness. It makes Novica's stomach hurt to think of what happened only a week later. She banishes it from her mind.
Instead she focuses on the view from out the window. It feels like she's travelling at hyperspeed-she's never moved so fast in her life. She watches as all the houses rush by, and determinedly does not look at Bryon or Mirtin. She tries to think of Loren, and how terrible she looked when they left her. Novica wonders if her sisling's broken down by now, or if she's holding on.
She also thinks about the childerling-home she's going to, Roseling's, and whether it will be a nice place.]
Novica: (Oh well. Whether it's nice or horrible, I ain't gonna be nice to no one in there. Not none of the childerlings, neither. Besides, they'll probably have heard of us, me and Lorie, and they'll have heard the rumours that Lorie murdered Werd, so they'll hate me anyway. And as soon as I can, I'll find a way to escape and get back to Lorie, cuz I'm sure she must need me real bad. I love her, but... she's unstable. Well, we're both unstable. It's ok to be unstable. But it's better to be unstable together.)
[Novica tries to stop thinking about her sisling because at this moment in time it can do her nothing but harm. She watches as the foodshop flashes by, and thinks she catches a glimpse of Mrs Hidlump glowering at her from the counter, but decides she must have imagined it. Poor old Mrs Hidlump. It may be a while before Novica gets to have a normal foodshopping trip with Loren-it is the mundane things about life with her sisling that she yearns for the most.
The way they always used to wake each other up with a hug, the way Novica always started an argument whenever she saw her sisling putting on make-up, the way they watched at the window to see if anyone was spying on them and, if they saw anyone, they pulled the curtains closed as quickly as they could and burst into laughter. Novica misses all of it.
She realises she has closed her eyes, and swiftly opens them. The view out of the window is different now-Novica figures they must have entered another part of Ling. The houses look much bigger and more expensive, with balconies and well-tended front gardens. This must be the centre of Ling, where all the rich folk live. Seconds later she sees the largest house that she has ever seen, with turrets and towers, looking more like a palace than a house. Mirtin eagerly points at it. "You see that, Novica? That's where the Lings live. Beautiful, isn't it?" Novica can't help herself.]
Novica: Ugly. Ugly ugly ugly. The house is as ugly as the people who live in it. Ugly ugly ugly. I met Mr Ling yesterday and he's also ugly ugly ugly.
[Mirtin does not attempt to reply to that, although he is slightly curious as to how Novica could have met Mr Ling himself the previous day. He decides she is probably just lying, and does not question her. The car drives on. Novica has a lot of things in her head that she'd like to say to Bryon and Mirtin, but she says none of them and remains silent. She tells herself this is what a wise person would do.
An hour later the car parks outside a pink building. Novica stares at it in disbelief. She had half-thought that Mirtin was lying about the building being pink. But Novica does not let this sway her feelings about Roseling's: she hates it, even though pink is her favourite colour. Then she surveys it critically. The word "Roseling's" is printed in a handwritten font on the front of the building, and she can hear girls' voices coming from it. So this is a girls-only childerling-home. Novica is not sure whether this fact makes it better or worse.
The building looks brand new, which Novica thinks strange, until she remembers that it is brand new-the law has only just been brought in this very day. She thinks with a twang of contempt about how all the leisure centres have been knocked down to make room for these childerling-homes. She will never be able to feel the "nothing don't matter" feeling that she felt on the water slide with Loren ever again. But she could feel it in the wilderness, because according to Loren one can feel it there as well... only she may never go to the wilderness, as long as the Lings are interested in herself and her sisling.
Novica feels guilty about the next thought that enters her mind. This place looks welcoming. She wishes it doesn't, because she wants to have only unpleasant thoughts about it, but that simply isn't true. The girls' voices she can hear sound happy-they sound like they're having fun. All she can think is that the Lings did a pretty good job at dressing up a horrible place to make people want to go there. She wonders which Ling was mostly behind this-Mr Ling or Mrs Ling. She's never met Mrs Ling, but from her sisling's account of Edwerd Ling's execution she sounds just as bad as her husbandling.
"Well, we're here," says Mirtin, in an attempt to sound optimistic while carefully watching Novica's disgusted face. "Everyone out, then. You too, Bryon. Driver, leave the car here for us; we'll be needing to go back to the Lings' house afterwards to report a successful drop-off of Novica." He looks at Novica pointedly as he says this, but she feels just as determined to stay in the car as she has for the whole journey.]
Novica: I'm not going in there! I wouldn't go in there if you paid me. Driver, I want you to drive me back to my house right now.
[The driver turns for a moment to stare at her. "Sorry, can't do that, pumpkin," he tells her without smiling. "Got me orders." Novica shoots him the foulest glare she can and then turns away. The driver tries not to react, but Novica does notice him grimace slightly before turning around again. Mirtin has been watching the whole exchange, and is very unimpressed.
"You are getting out of this car whether you like it or not," he says, glaring at Novica. The driver presses a button to unlock all of the doors, and Mirtin swiftly opens his and gets out. Then Bryon gives Novica a very unexpected, nasty surprise: he opens her door which she has been leaning on, and she falls out onto the tarmac, grazing her cheek. Her immediate reaction is to scream at him; her second is to try to get back in the car, but Mirtin is too quick for her. He presses one foot against Novica's temple, holding her down. Bryon gets out of the car and slams Novica's door shut so that she can't get back in. Then Mirtin realeases Novica, and she stands up, rubbing her cheek and scowling.]
Novica: I hate you so much! You're monsters! You hurt my cheek real bad, and let me guess: no one's gonna put a plaster on it, or some antiseptic, or dress it up, cuz no one don't care 'bout me 'cept Lorie, and you've taken me from her!
[To the men's surprise, Novica curls up and begins to cry, as if all of the energy has gone out of her. But neither of them, especially Bryon, lets sympathy control them. Bryon grabs Novica's wrist, twists it, and pulls her to her feet, while she continues to wail, unable to struggle or do anything else.
They march her through the gates of Roseling's, and up the path leading to the reception block. Novica tries to take notice of everything: the fence, the paths, the grass, the flowers, even the drainpipes. Anything which may aid her escape from this dunghill is interesting to her, so she pays careful attention as she is taken to reception. Unfortunately, no plan has formed in her head just yet; it could be days before she has something that will definitely work.
Finally, they reach reception. Novica is almost crushed between the automatic doors, which don't seem to have very accurate motion sensors, before being lifted up by Bryon and stood on the counter in full view of the receptionist, who has turned pale. She is a young lady, with chestnut brown hair and a round face. Novica watches her closely as she flicks through a file until she gets to the page she wants. It displays a black-and-white photograph of Novica, and some information (probably about things like her date of birth, she decides). The lady looks up at Novica again, who stares back at her with a hard gaze.
"This is... Novica Seen?" she asks, directing her questin to Mirtin and Bryon and not to Novica herself. Mirtin nods solemnly. The lady continues, her voice trembling slightly. "Well then. Our place for Novica is in the Ladybird Room-down the first corridor on your right. You'll know it when you see it." Now she is speaking to Novica. "It's got a big red picture of a ladybird on it. No, you can't miss it." She tries to smile, but in the presence of the two Ling Officials she is finding it rather difficult.
"I think we'll be off, then," Mirtin says, clearly eager to be "off". He places a business card on the counter. "For if you need us for anything," he explains briefly.
Bryon winks at the receptionist. "You'd better watch out for this one, miss," he tells her. "Pretty feisty. Mir, hold out your hand so she can see." Reluctantly, Mirtin holds out the hand with the bite marks on it. "As I said, watch out," continues Bryon. "She bites."]
Novica: That's cuz they took me away from my sisling! By force! And do know what, when I didn't want to get out the car, Bryon opened my door when I didn't expect it so I tumbled out onto the pavement and see, I grazed my cheek. And then when I tried to get back in the car, cuz I don't wanna go to stupid Roseling's, Mirtin put his shoe on my temple and now I got dirt all over my forehead!
[She glares at the receptionist, as if daring her to agree with the Ling officials. "You poor thing," the receptionist says sympathetically, surprising Novica. She turns to the officials. "You two, off," she orders. Bryon hesitates, but Mirtin does not; he's out of the automatic door before his companion can stop him. Grumbling, Bryon follows. The receptionist smiles at Novica, but Novica notices that she still looks slightly scared. "If you go to the Ladybird room and tell Miss Pinkins what happened, she'll get you all cleaned up. Ok?"]
Novica: Um. Ok.
[Shakily, Novica leaves reception and walks down the corridor the receptionist indicated, all the while thinking about how pleasant that young lady was to her, and whether perhaps Roseling's isn't such a bad place after all. Then she receives a rush of passion and love for Loren, and knows that deep down she still hates this place: she hates every place that doesn't have Loren in it. Still, she walks down the corridor until she sees the door the receptionist described, with a large wooden ladybird sign on the front of it. Taking a deep breath, Novica knocks and then opens the door, and goes in.
She is greeted by a woman she assumes must be Miss Pinkins. To match her name, she wears a lot of pink: pink top, pink cardigan, pink jeans, pink glasses, pink earrings, pink hairband, pink shoes... even her hair is pink! Novica stares in disbelief. Miss Pinkins walks over to Novica as soon as she sees her standing in the doorway, smiles warmly, and glances at the register.
"Do I have the pleasure of speaking to a Miss Novica Seen?" she asks politely, looking from the register to Novica, who nods solemnly.]
Novica: Yes, that's me, Miss.
["Well, Novica, welcome to Ladybird Room!" She throws her arms upwards and surveys the room happily. She taps her nose. "I tell everyone to call me Emolli, but the childerlings don't like to-they all call me Miss Pinkins, sometime even 'Pinky Winky'." Here she pauses and laughs out loud. Novica tries to join in, but her throat hurts and she finds herself incapable of anything more than a quiet, sad giggle. "But if you could call me Emolli, it would make me very happy." She glances around the room. "We're just waiting until everyone gets here and then we're going to do a tour of Roseling's. We've got, I think, five more who need to arrive. While you're waiting, why don't you join some of the other childerlings and play with the toys I've set out? I'm sure you'll very quickly make some friends."
Novica cannot help but make an interjection here.]
Novica: But-um-Emolli, I'm twelve years old. I don't really play with toys no more.
[Emolli looks a little put out, and seems to remember something. "Oh, do forgive me, childerling, I forgot," she tells Novica apologetically. "You are the oldest in this group. Really, you should be in the Butterfly Room-I think that's for elevens, twelves, and thirteens-but the head of Roseling's-Mrs Winberry, a lovely woman-made the queer decision to put you in Ladybird's, with the eights, nines and tens, despite yourself being much older than them. Yes. This is difficult indeed."
The pink woman watches Novica and seems to be thinking about something. Finally, she makes her mind up. "I know! The tens aren't really fans of toys, either-they think they're too old for that, like you. So I'll find you a group of tens to join, and hopefully you'll all get on swimmingly together, even though you're two years older than them, Novica. How does that sound, hmm?"
To Novica it sounds terrible; she doesn't want to "get on swimmingly" with anyone. She wants to sit on her own in a corner and think about her lovely Loren, her sisling and guardian, who was perfectly capable of caring for her-in fact, she was more capable than any of the people at Roseling's, because she knows Novica. She knows when Novica needs some quiet time. She knows when Novica needs her company. She knows when Novica needs a hug. In this room full of strange people who do not know Novica at all, she feels very alone.]
Novica: Thank you. That sounds good.
[Novica does not trust herself to say any more than that for fear of bursting into tears. She tries to play at being strong, at being brave, as if she's a knight surrounded by dragons, and she must fight off every one of them. Or else she's a wild thing, that will never be nice to anyone, a thing that is not good or sensible or well-behaved. Novica wishes she could be like that, but without Loren she feels too fragile.
A few moments later Emolli returns with three girls-presumably all ten-year-olds-who are looking at Novica with distaste. "This is her?" one of them asks.
Emolli Pinkins nods. "Yes, this is Novica. Novica, I found you some tens!" She laughs. "Say hello to Zowey, Peese and Meily. They'll be your friends for however long you need to stay at Roseling's."]
Novica: (Hopefully only a week, at most. I'm not staying in this tip for any longer than that. Can you see the way those girls are looking at me? I dunno how I'm gonna survive this. Not by being their friend, that's for sure. They look like real snobs, all of 'em.) Hello Zowey, Peese and Meily. Nice to meet you.
["There we go, getting on already," smiles Emolli. "I'll just leaves you girls to talk about whatever girls talk about these days, but remember, if you need anything, Novica, just ask." One of the girls puts out her hand to Novica-she looks the most friendly out of all of them, so Novica takes her hand and shakes it. The girls giggle.
"Woa, you got a death grip! Hi. Sorry, I'm Zowey. So you're two years older than us, huh? That's pretty cool." Before Novica can answer, the girl who spoke first interjects.
"Can we call you Nov, cuz, you know, it sounds cooler?" she asks Novica.]
Novica: No. You can mind your own damn business and call me Novica. Or-preferably-you can leave me alone.
[The girls are taken aback, and so is Novica, to some extent-she didn't mean to be quite so hostile towards them. Luckily, Zowey saves the situation. "Hey, don't mind Meily, she's into the whole nicknames thing. Me and Peese, not so much. It's fine, we'll all just call you Novica." She elbows Meily. "Right?"
"Right," Meily scowls reluctantly.
The final girl, who hasn't spoken yet, steps forward. "But seriously, girl, what did you mean by talking to Meily like that? She was minding her own damn business, and we're your friends-we're not gonna leave you alone. You'll be sad all by yourself. Stick with us!" Peese smiles, but Novica is watching her warily, so she drops her head. They all seem to be waiting for Novica to say something else.]
Novica: I ain't sticking with no one in this damn rotten dunghill. I'm going back to my sisling, the only person who understands me.
[And with that Novica saunters off to sit in a corner like she wanted to from the very start. She watches the girls carefully to see their reaction. They merely shrug and laugh, although Zowey does look back at her with a slightly concerned expression. Novica looks away. If anything, their reaction has made her feel even more alone. Emolli has not seen yet that Novica is no longer with the "tens". She hopes she doesn't notice for a while. She'll definitely try and find Novica some other toxic friends when she sees the girl sitting in a corner.]
Novica: (I do wonder 'bout one thing. How come the girls here ain't sad, or angry, or nothing? Ain't they upset that they all got taken away from their family or guardian cuz they were being cared for by someone under twenty? Maybe they are, and they're just hiding it real well. I miss Lorie so, so much-how come Zowey don't miss her people? Or Meily? Or Peese? Do none of them got any feelings?
This is just too sad. I'm stuck in a dunghill full of girls who don't got feelings. I wouldn't mind if this place wasn't so warm and clean and nice, if only there was someone in here who loved and missed the person or people who had looked after them. I love Lorie. I love Lorie. I love Lorie. I love Lorie. And I miss her so damn much. I need to get out of here as soon as I can. Oh, what?)
[Novica is pulled away from her thoughts by a girl who is standing over here. The girl looks very young, and Novica receives a pang of guilt for looking at her so fiercely. Especially as the girl looks so curious and so sad. "Hello?" she asks uncertainly. Novica considers what she should say in reply. Then she knows.]
Novica: Get back! I am a wild thing. Tame me if you dare.
[She growls convincingly, and laughs when the little girl actually takes a few steps backwards. Then the girl says something she isn't expecting; Novica thought she would just run away. "How do I tame you?" she asks.]
Novica: Well, I-that is, I dunno. That's up to you. I'm the wild thing. How am I supposed to know?
[The little girl smiles. She pretends to put something down on the floor in front of Novica. "Here, pussy pussy," she whispers. "I got nice fish for you. You can come and eat it, and then we can be friends." Novica smiles back, for the first time, and goes through an elaborate ritual of sniffing the fish, sneaking forwards, then jumping back into the corner again and growling.
But the little girl will not give up. She whistles, and beckons, and grins, and Novica creeps forwards again and nibbles a little bit of the imaginary fish. She pretends to swallow it, and the little girl claps her hands. "Yes, pussy! That's good, pussy! You can eat the rest of it if you like. And then we can be friends."
Novica has no idea why she is still playing along with this game. Nevertheless, she eats the rest of the fish, and then utters a small meow, and the girl wraps her arms around the Novica the cat. "You're my pussy now," she says. "My good pussy. We'll be friends forever, pussy. Won't we, pussy?" Novica giggles.]
Novica: Meow. Meow. Ok, in all seriousness, what's your name?
[The girls immediately frowns. "My name, pussy? I'm Elena. But I like to be called Elie."]
Novica: Well, Elie, I'm Novica, but I like to be called Novie. Can you call me that? Novie?
["Novie," the small girl repeats solemnly. "I can call you that. But you're also pussy, right?"]
Novica: Yes, I'm also pussy. You can pick and choose. Today you can call me Novie, tomorrow pussy. But Elie, can you tell me something else? How old are you? How many years?
[Elie looks at Novica, as if seeing if she can trust her. "I'm eight," she eventually says, in a whisper, so Novica has to lean close to her to be able to hear.]
Novica: (Eight! Really young then. I dunno, but I got a feeling 'bout this girl, Elie, that maybe she can be my friend for as long as I have to stay here before I can escape. And she's got feelings. I could tell as soon as I saw her. She looked so sad. I wonder who looked after her before she got taken away. Well, whoever it is, she definitely misses them. It'll be useful to have a friend. It'll mean pink Emolli will leave me alone and not try and find any more tens for me to be friends with.) I'm twelve. I should be in Butterfly's, apparently, but they put me in with the eights, nines, and tens.
[Elie stares at her. "You're a big girl, then," she says. "I don't know any big girls. My mamling and papling are sick so I was being looked after by my cousling, who's sixteen, and today some mean men came and said Joni isn't old enough to look after me. He was very sad and I was very sad too, but Joni let them take me. He didn't put up a fight. So here I am." She looks at Novica curiously. "So, Novie, what's your story?"]
Novica: Oh, well, um. I'm looked after by my sisling who's eighteen. She's called Loren. She slapped one of the men who tried to take me away, but they took me anyway, even though I was screaming. And d'you know something else?
[Novica does not know whether she should tell Elie this, but something tells her she should trust her. The little eight-year-old girl has been watching her wide-eyed. "What is it?" she asks.]
Novica: Everyone in the city thinks that my sisling, Loren Seen, murdered Edwerd Ling. But she didn't. They loved each other, she called him Werd, they even went to the wilderness together-this was two years ago-but then the Lings found out and put their own sonling to death. Lorie had to go to his execution.
[If possible, Elie's eyes have opened even wider. Novica worries that she shouldn't have told an eight-year-old a story as horrible and depressing as that of Edwerd Ling, but she was hoping that Elie would be able to understand her a little better if she knew what she'd been through. It seems to have been the right thing to do, because Elie nods. "That's a very sad thing, pussy," she says. "I don't like the Lings, because if they hadn't made that law I would still be with Joni."]
Novica: I'm glad you agree, Elie.
[At that moment, Emolli announces that everyone who was expected to join the Ladybird Room today has arrived, and it is now time for the tour. "Keep close to me, Novie," Elie tells Novica, hugging her arm. "I'm scared." Touched, Novica holds her new friend close and together they follow everyone else out of the Ladybird Room and into the corridor. Novica and Elie take care to remain inconspicuous, with Novica steering clear of Zowey, Meily and Peese. Nevertheless, they see her once or twice, and turn their noses up at her.
The Ladybird group are shown the dining room, where they are allowed a quick snack to make up for missing lunch, the dormitories, the gym, the toilets and showers, and they are even shown into a few of the other rooms like the Caterpillar Room, which is for "fives, sixes and sevens" and the Butterfly Room, where Novica herself should have been placed, which is for "elevens, twelves and thirteens". Elie clutches Novica's arm all the way through, and refuses to eat her snack in the dining room. By the time the tour has finished it is late afternoon, and the girls all return to the Ladybird Room for an hour of Standard Lingish.
Novica yawns her way through it easily; she's covered all of this before with Loren. But Elie finds it more difficult, so Novica spends most of the time helping the smaller girl through the exercises. During the tour, Novica had a lot of time to think things out, and she has decided that when she escapes from Roseling's, she's going to take Elie with her. Elie is just as unhappy here as she is, and she tells herself that her pussy-taming friend would love to escape.
That night, after a hearty dinner in the dining room where they were able to socialise with girls from the other age groups (Novica and Elie sat in the corner, content with only each other's company) and after Emolli had shown them how to operate the showers and all the Ladybird girls had gotten ready for bed, Novica lies on the top bunk of the bunk bed she shares in the Ladybird dormitory, listening to Elie breathing on the bunk below. When Novica offered her the top bunk earlier that evening, Elie told her firmly that she was afraid of heights, so Novica happily took the top bunk-she feels safer high up.
The lights are out, and all of the other girls are asleep. But Novica knows Elie is awake; she has been listening to her breathing for about twenty minutes now, and it does not sound like Loren's breathing when she is asleep. She shifts her position in the bed.]
Novica: Elie, you awake?
[She hears a sigh from the bunk below, and a second later Elie's small voice whispers, "What is it, pussy?"]
Novica: I didn't tell you during the day cuz I was worried we'd get overheard by Emolli or someone. I'm going to escape from this place, as soon as I think of a good enough plan. And I was wondering if you'd like to come with me.
[Elie sits up, and cranes her neck into the gloom until she can see the dark shadow that is Novica. "You're really leaving? So soon?"]
Novica: I have to. Lorie might be losing her mind without me. But you didn't answer my question. Will you escape with me?
[There is a hesitation from Elie. Eventually she answers. "I'm scared, Novie," she whispers sadly. "I'm more scared of Ling than I am of Roseling's. I want to get back to Joni, but I know he's ok without me. I'm sorry, Novie. No." And for the first time Novica wonders if she's doing the right thing by escaping from this place.
Certainly, it's horrible being anywhere that Loren isn't, but at least she's safe here. Who knows what could happen if she tried to escape? Firstly, Roseling's is on the opposite side of Ling to the neighbourhood where her house is. She knows her own address, but the city folk of Ling would probably be suspicious of a small girl asking directions. Also, if the Lings found out about her escape, she would be in big trouble.
But aside from all of this, Novica is gripped with an overwhelming desire to see Loren again, so that they can protect each other like they always did in the past. If Elie doesn't want to go with her, that's her choice to make, not Novica's, but Novica knows that she is finding her way back to Loren no matter what.]
Novica: That's ok, Elie. You don't have to come if you don't want to. It's damn true that you'll be safe here. I'm safe here too, but I just got to get back to Lorie. I love her too much to stay here. But Elie, will you help me make my plan?
[Elie fidgets. "Hmm?"]
Novica: My plan to escape from here. If you're not going to come with me, can you help me escape?
[Then Elie understands. But to Novica, she still seems very sad. "But I don't want you to go, Novie," she says in a small voice. "I'll be all alone here. You're my only friend, and if you go, I won't have any." Novica hears her friend sigh heavily. "I'll help you. I know how much you love your Lorie. It's ok. I understand." Novica smiles.]
Novica: Thank you so much, Elie. I don't know what I'd do without you. Hey, before we go to sleep, we should tell our loved ones how much we love them. And maybe they'll hear us. You say it to Joni, I'll say it to Lorie. Ok?
["I hope they actually hear us," Elie whispers.]
Novica: Follow my lead, Elie. I love you Lorie I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you-
["I love you Joni I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you-"]
Novica: I love you, Lorie. I love you. I love you! And I'm coming to find you! No matter what!