faithfully

chapter three

small trigger warning:
chapter deals with mental health/depression/self harm and recovery.
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please please please don't read this if you can't handle those subjects, i don't want to make anyone upset.

***

It had been a few weeks of Chris and I talking as friends before I had the small incident at school.

I rushed home that evening, calling Chris along the way, "Hey, sweetheart, whatcha up t-." I cut him off before he could finish, "Chris, I'll probably be off of my phone for the next few days, o-or week, I can't have you texting me or calling me after this, okay?" I sniffled, holding back tears, "Sweetheart, what's goin' on??" He questioned, I could hear the worry in his voice.

"I-I don't want to talk about it, I'm sorry, Chris." I gasped softly, wiping my eyes, "Jade, y-you.. you cant just call me like this and not tell me what's going on.." he pleaded, I could no longer hear the smile in his voice. "S-something happened at school today.." I whispered, "And they called my m-mom, and I know I'm going to be in deep shit for a f-few days.." he stayed quiet for a moment, "Jade.." I let out a small whimper, "I-I can't talk about it, Chris, I cant!" I gasped again, "I'm sorry.." I whispered.

                "H-how long do you think it'll be, like just a few days? Can not text or call at all? I-I don't want to lose touch.." he whispered, "i-i don't know.." I whispered, my voice cracking, I stopped walking for a second to attempt to calm myself, "I-I'll try to message you, somehow, some way.." I nodded, wiping my eyes again, "And when you come back, you need to tell me what's going on.." he sighed quietly, the worry never leaving his deep voice. "I-I promise, I will.." I nodded again.

I continued back on my walk home, "I-I'll contact you somehow through this until I get my phone back..." I whispered, "B-But I have to go now.." I sighed softly. "Take care of yourself, sweet girl..." he whispered, "Keep in touch.." I nodded slowly, "I-I will.." I whispered before ending the call and making my way into the house, I saw my mother was already home from the car being parked outside.

***

               It's been almost three weeks since I've talked to Chris. I wonder if he's forgotten about me yet. My sleeping schedule has been absolute shit, I only sleep about three hours each night. My mom reacted out of anger towards what happened, but had been more apologetic recently, and promises to give me my phone back Friday.

               It's Tuesday evening, my wrists have been bandages up because my mom has zero trust for me left in her. She checks the bandages each night to make sure they haven't been messed with. I've been wearing the same sweatshirt to school each day, and notice the people whispering around me when I walk down the hall.

               Today, when I came into class, I spoke with my friend, Miranda. "I bet they think I'm just some fucking emo looking for attention..." I whispered as I doodled on my notes sheet. "Jade.." she sighed, "This may be a blessing in disguise.." I just shrugged, scoffing at the thought. "My mom won't even let me go to the fucking bathroom without checking all of the cabinets and drawers for 'sharp objects'..." I muttered.

              "Well, is she wrong for that?" I looked at her quickly, "She's just trying to keep you safe, Jade.." I just shook my head before looking down at my sheet again, scribbling out the doodle. We sat in silence about it until the end of class, and after school, I walked to my counselors office.