Random Transformers Scrap!

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When you're feeling awfully sad and lonely and depressed because you feel like nobody loves you so you portray your fantasy fluffy boyfriend dreams into your OC ship even though it wouldn't make sense because they're literally giant alien robots but you do it anyways to make it feel better and come to terms that no one will probably see this so that makes you feel even more depressed but you cant do anything about it so you go ahead and start writing anyways despite not wanting to and suffering from serious writers block.

Oh, and because it upset people so much last time because I forgot it...

⚠️ KNOCKSTREAK WARNING ⚠️

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I literally forgot what I was about to write.

But I really need to write something because recently I feel like this ship has been DYING and I don't want that.

Usually, a good KnockStreak fan art cheers me up but more and more recently, I've been receiving a bunch of hate on the ship, to the point where I've considered just forgetting about it completely and cancelling the book series.

I don't want to, I just feel like no one likes or reads it anymore. People have been telling me that the ship is annoying, makes no sense, and that I should just stop, that it would make my life so much better.

I've been trying to ignore them, to just continue working on fan art for the ship...it's just getting harder.

Not to mention that I've been on TikTok a bunch recently and it's gotten so toxic recently I just kinda want to melt down and cry.

Here's the thing, and I'm not afraid to say this.

Writing and drawing and seeing fanart/fanfic about Knockstreak has been my source of happiness for so long. For going on 3 years now, whenever I've been feeling down, I would just think of this ship and it instantly made me feel better.

I know it's weird, I know, I know, but it's the hard truth.

It's a perfect universe I've envisioned myself in, as Nightstreak. A world where somebody loves me, and I'm happy. At least, that's what it started out as.

It has morphed into somewhere I can go, think to and just smile.

I love this ship, it's become something embedded deep within my heart, and I know Nightstreak isn't canon, and she's not real, blah blah blah. I know!! And I know I portray Knockout in a totally different way, because in my universe, that glitch in the well of Allsparks that made him vain never happened. I know, I know I know I know!!!!! I just....

It's like I said before: this ship has been my source of happiness for so long I've built an emotional connection to it.

But...it's dying. I can't deny that. The hate comments, they're breaking it down, and tearing away at my emotional connection. More and more often, as more and more people say they don't ship it and stop reading my stories, I've just gotten sadder and sadder to the point where I almost can't bring myself to write about the ship because I'm terrified.

I'm terrified you guys are going to forget about me.

I'm terrified that you're going to start to hate me because I write about it so much.

Im terrified I'm going to become nobody.

I'm scared that nobody's going to love me anymore.

I'm scared...scared that one day, I'll be left with nothing.

And I'm sorry!!! I wish I could stop, I wish I could please you all, write about what you want me to write about!! But I can't.

And I also can't bring myself to write about what I want to, and that's sad.

This ship is dying, and my happiness along with it.

But I need to revive it!! If not for everybody else, then for me.

I'm trying so hard it just doesn't feel like it's enough.

I'm trying, I'm trying!!

I need to write something!!! And it's going to be bad. And you don't have to read it!!

But if I can't draw anything right now for the ship, and there's nothing new about it to look at, I must at least write something!!

Anything!!

I need ideas. That's what I need, I need cute ideas. Fluffs. Cutes, EVEN A LITTLE LEMONY I DONT EVEN CARE ANYMORE.

I just need...ideas.

I've got a small one, one that I got from an OTP generator. I'll write about it now.

Look...next chapter is the 100th chapter. I'll do something special for y'all, I promise.

Maybe a 'I write your ideas/scenarios?'

I don't know, I'll do SOMETHING.

But for now...enjoy my 3am writing.

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Update: I wasn't able to write. I was just too tired and hungry. Im sorry.

Tomorrow, I promise.