HONEY HONEY, john ambrose mcclaren ✓

( twelve )

HONEY HONEY
CHAPTER TWELVE 

Carly and John Ambrose didn't talk much after that day. Carly was still coming to terms with letting her guard down and John Ambrose was respecting that decision. She had never opened up so much to someone and after seventeen years of bottling things up, it was scary to let it go. It wasn't the first time he had seen her cry but it was a lot more than not understanding Shakespeare. They passed each other a lot in school and had shared small waves from time to time.

Today, it was Friday and that meant another tutoring session had arrived. They had barely spoken all week and Carly feared for the situation. She was there first, as usual, green tea and white chocolate cookies surrounding her highlighted notes. She sipped her tea as she completed the notes that she had procrastinated last night. Black ink decorated the page as a body slid into the chair in front of her. As she looked up, John Ambrose sat, resting on his elbows, making his face incredibly close, with a cheeky grin on his face. Carly eyed the look, scared of the reason behind it.

"What?" she asked. John Ambrose dug into the inside of his jacket and revealed two movie tickets.

"Call Me By Your Name, you and me tonight night." Today was valentine's day. As two single friends, John Ambrose thought it was a great idea to 1, show himself he was over Lara Jean, and 2, show Carly another spectacular movie.

Carly plucked the tickets from his hand, debating it. She had heard great reviews of the movie and she didn't want to disappoint John Ambrose. However, it was such a couple-y thing to do; watch romantic films on valentine's day. He reminded that it was purely platonic which somewhat disheartened Carly. After Lara Jean, blatantly pointing out her feelings, it became more obvious. She enjoyed his company in a different way than Maisie's. She liked his eyes and smile. He was cute and smart and made her heart flutter with affection. Maybe she wanted more than a platonic valentine's date.

Reluctantly, she agreed.

When she arrived home, she rushed straight to her room. She spent the next two hours rummaging through both her and her mother's closet. Carly wasn't the most stylish person, spending most of her days in jeans and a t-shirt. It wasn't as easy as it was with her date with Dean. She wasn't trying so hard to impress him that night but now she hoped John Ambrose would actually look at her.

After trying on too many outfits, she found a lace black dress. Even though it was the nicest dress she owned and loved it dearly it still didn't feel like enough. Luckily, Justine was stubborn enough to spend twenty minutes convincing her daughter she looked beautiful. All that was left was two find the perfect shoes. Carly distinctively remembered a pair of wedges she had worn to her aunt's wedding a few years ago. Not being a usual heel wearing, she could not remember where she had left them.

"Mum, have you seen my wedges?" Carly shouted to her mum in the other room. She bent down on her knees, searching under her bed. Under her bed was where she had tossed things when she couldn't be bothered actually putting them away. Her eyes lightened at the sight of them. She grasped the straps and took a sticky note with her. She removed it, gazing in curiosity at the familiar handwriting.

Don't worry about crying. I think you look beautiful when you cry.

Carly's mouth hung open at the words, her heart pounded against her chest. It was clearly from John Ambrose. She could recognise that handwriting anywhere. Had he always felt like this?

Hearing a knock on the door, Carly jumped. He was here. She stared at the note one more time. She left it on her desk as she put her shoes on. She greeted him with an awkward smile. She no longer knew how to act. Their car ride was silent. John Ambrose could sense the uncomfortable atmosphere and couldn't determine why it existed. Had he done something wrong?

Things seemed less tense in the movie theatre. Maybe it was the dark, romantic atmosphere of all the couples surrounding them that made them more comfortable. As the movie played Carly found herself actually falling in love with it. She never thought she could love a romantic movie but here she was for the second time, falling in love.

She looked at John Ambrose, who was too immersed in the film. She looked at him and then down at his hand. Should she dare? Gingerly, she touched his hand. She turned back to the movie and awaited his response. John Ambrose grew tense at the touch but slowly allowed his hand to take in hers. Carly held a smile throughout the whole movie even at the end when tears slipped from her eyes she kept the smile.

The two let go of each other's hand when the film ended. They walked side by side towards the exit. Suddenly, things were awkward all over again. "So, how was it?" he asked, breaking the silence.

They reached outside. Carly had underestimated the weather and shivered slightly. "Okay, you have some good taste in movies." She emphasised the word some and chuckled. John Ambrose however, was mute. "This was nice though. Maybe we should hang out more like this." she suggested.

"I thought you said no more movie dates."

"And here we are, two movie dates later." she pointed out. "Besides, it doesn't always have to be movies."

John Ambrose stared at her, panic in his eyes. She noticed the fear in his eyes and panicked herself. Was she wrong? "Forget it. Don't listen to me." she laughed nervously and began walking ahead.

John Ambrose didn't move. Carly kept walking steadily, one foot in front of the other, as she cursed herself. "I think we shouldn't see each other for a while."

Carly stopped walking. Had she heard him right? She was still hugging herself from the cold. Her mouth opened and closed as she tried to respond. "Wh...Why?"

"Because you like me and you being around me is not a good idea." He told her. "You're my friend, Carly. I don't...We're not..." He sighed, seeing her distressed expression. I'm sorry."

Carly turned around, allowing her back to face him. She walked slowly as tears filled her eyes. "I'm trying to do the right thing, Carly." he shouted after her. She didn't respond.

John Ambrose felt remorse for hurting her but he truly believed it was for the best. He didn't want her developing too many feelings when he didn't reciprocate them. He truly adored her and wanted her in his life but for now, she needed time to move on.

As Carly walked, she removed her phone from her purse. She didn't have many contacts, only family members and the two friends she had. Well, now one. She pressed Maisie's contact and pressed the phone against her ear. As soon as she picked up, Carly began speaking. "Well, I did it, I told him I had feelings for him, or rather he told me, and guess what? He doesn't want to see me anymore. He doesn't see me as anything more than a friend. I mean is it...is it me? Did I do something wrong? Am I the problem?"

The line was silent then Maisie released a sigh. "Leave me alone, Carly."

Maisie ended the call, leaving Carly confused and even more heartbroken. Had she done something wrong? More tears slipped down her cheeks and she covered her mouth to keep her sobs bearable. This valentine's had ended in more heartbreaks than love stories.