The Irony of it All

14

Tony was exhausted. He had been up all last night working on projects, and trying to follow the newest leads on the rogue Avenger members. He had spent the whole day dealing with Ross and his men and he was completely, and utterly pooped. He still stood by his opinion that the Avengers needed to have an authoritative hand to hold them to their actions, but he didn't like Ross. And he regretted a few things that he had done in the past six months, particularly how he had handled the "Civil War" as the public had nicknamed it. Now, he had just a few things left on his daily To-Do List. He needed a cheese burger, a glass of fine whiskey, and a nap. Well, what he really needed was a full night of sleep, but he knew the chances of that happening were slim.

He had just loosened his tie and filled his glass halfway when Happy came in. "Tony."

"Oh hey, Hap," he greeted, glancing up at his old body guard. "You look terrible. You want a glass?" Happy did in fact, look "terrible". His usual black suit jacket was missing, his collar wasn't straight, his tie was missing, his clothes were wrinkled, and his face was void of color."

"We've been trying to call you."

"Sorry. I turned my phone off and requested that anyone requesting me, be forwarded to that phone number that lets people down easy."

"Tony."

"Look, Hap, I'm really tired, so unless the world is ending, I don't want to be bothered. You can help yourself to the whiskey, I'm going to..."

"Black Widows' gone rogue."

He froze, before slowly spinning around on his heels and cocking his head in question. "Something went down over in the Garment District. In the back alley behind the Wyndham Hotel. Crushed dumpsters, cracked pavement, damaged walls, and destroyed vehicles. The FBI has officially labeled her a Fugitive. The U.S.A.'s officially Most Wanted person."

"How on Earth did she beat Cap? What makes her the priority?"

"I don't know."

"Ross probably caught up to her and she's on her way to Canada right now. I should have kept a better eye on her." Tony had resumed walking around the room, gesturing to the air in thought. "I'm gone for one day, and look what happens."

"Tony."

"Everything falls apart. And they think they don't need me. Idiots."

"Tony!" He finally turned towards Happy. "This isn't just the FBI and a few beat up vans in an alley. She's a traiter. She betrayed the Avengers."

"Now, hold on..."

"She left Clint." Once again, Happy had gotten his full attention.

He shook his head in confusion and denial. "Clint's on house arrest, happily playing catch with his mini agents."

"Right now, he's in a coma in your med bay. And before that, he was laying in the alleyway, mostly dead. She left him to die, Tony."

Tony's jaw twitched. He didn't want to believe it. But he had to see for himself first. When he and Happy entered the med bay, he was greeted with a haunting site. Clint wasn't just in a coma. Tony felt as if he was looking at a week old corpse. His cheeks and eye sockets were sunken in. His skin was so pale, it looked translucent.

As Tony looked around the room, he saw that Fury was there, Pepper, and Laura, Clint's wife. "How is he?" He asked.

Pepper got up and hugged him tightly. "Happy and I didn't know what to do. We got an IV in him, but we've been trying to get a hold of you. Dr. Banner is on his way."

Then Fury spoke. "He's uninjured. No breaks, no bruises, no head trauma. But he won't wake up."

Tony came closer and observed him. He may not be a proper doctor, but he knew enough to get by. More than enough actually. Genius, remember? "Okay. Well, first of all, he's freezing to death. His body is shutting down. I was expecting a fever, but his temperature is dropping. He already has hypothermia. We need electric blankets. We also need a ventilator. His lungs are going to give out soon if this continues any longer. And we need to get some glucose in him."

"Anything else?" Happy asked.

"Uh, yeah. A cheese burger."

Everyone looked up at him. "For what?" Happy asked.

"For me. You guys want anything?" Everyone either shook their head "No" or gave him a blank stare. "Okay. Two cheese burgers."