grudge | daiharu

two

it was 6 am when the sun began to slowly rise from the horizon and birds started chirping their way into daisuke's consciousness. he blinked several times to have his eyes adjust to the darkness in his room. when he finally came to, the first thing he recalled was the intense sex he had with haru.

he sat up abruptly, still butt-naked and whipped his head only to find the other side of the bed empty with the sheets messy and wrinkled.

"fuck." daisuke muttered and scrambled to his feet immediately as he wistfully hoped for haru to still be anywhere in his apartment. his heart was palpitating and he was sure that if anyone paid enough attention, they probably could've heard it pounding against his ribcage.

just a few seconds into his frantic search for haru katou, he heard the sound of the shower running and that was all it took for the usual cool and composed daisuke to let out the heaviest sigh ever.

maybe, just maybe i'll persuade him to stay this time.

whilst clinging onto that pending thought, daisuke changed the sheets that were dirtied by their intense coitus last night into fresh ones. he had made a mental note to himself to call up the cleaners for them to drop by and pick up the sheets.

"done cleaning yourself out?" daisuke chuckled when haru exited the steamy bathroom in one of daisuke's fancy satin robes with a towel draped over his neck and his hair dripping wet.

"yeah." haru answered nonchalantly. "put on some pants, will you?"

"so," daisuke started as he walked towards his wardrobe to grab a pair of pants to cloth his naked self. "what is it this time?"

haru didn't say a thing only after a few second pause. "i hooked up with this guy that kamei introduced me to but apparently he's inexperienced as fuck and he kept running his mouth while doing me." he said with a shrug before spreading himself out on daisuke's king-sized bed.

"it was such a big turn off so i left still feeling horny and i just happened to be around the neighborhood you lived in." haru smirked. "why? you don't like the fact that i used you to cool off?"

daisuke scoffed without saying anything when deep down, he knew that no matter how many times haru only came to him either after being caught up in a messy affair or just to cool off like today, it still stabbed holes in his chest.

he quietly got two bottles of mineral water from the mini refrigerator in his room and handed one to haru. he sat himself next to haru, downing big gulps of the cold water to hide the fact that he was gritting his teeth.

"so what if i am?" daisuke finally said as he pulled haru into his lap which caused the latter to laugh halfheartedly.

"are you serious, kambe? it's been two years since we broke up and you're still saying this kind of crap?" he shook his head with a grin playing on his face as he leaned into the warmth of daisuke's broad chest.

he's right. there's no way he'll stay especially after two years of separation.

throughout the period of time where they had broken up, daisuke always clung onto an impossible hope, foolishly thinking that maybe if he'd continue letting haru use his body however he wanted, as long as they were just mere sex partners that there was still a chance for him to win haru's heart again.

but tonight, epiphany finally washed over him. he was way too naive for his own sake, for being so hopeful. he was aware of the grudge that they both held against one another when they were in a relationship and even after things ended.

a sigh escaped daisuke's lips as he gently pushed haru's weight off himself. once again, he could feel goosebumps coursing through every vein in his body at the slight touch of haru's cold bare skin.

this is the last time i'm going to hold him.

after the sun has fully risen, he wouldn't get the chance to touch his body that he yearned for anymore. daisuke had finally decided to accept the fact that the piece of art which held both chaos and delicacy was no longer his.

"we should stop seeing each other like this." daisuke, after mustering every ounce of courage he had, finally said the words that he himself dreaded the most.

haru seemed as if he was taken aback at his ex's words and undoubtedly, that made daisuke feel a little good on the inside since he got a reaction out of haru who was emotionless even on the day they separated.

"are you indirectly saying that you've gotten tired of sleeping with me just because there's no longer a romantic relationship between us?" daisuke bit his lip and nodded.

haru scoffed. "so you're telling me to get the fuck out of your life right? even though you were the one who insisted that i could use you."

an unbearable silence fell upon the both of them as sunlight slowly poured into the room through the cracks of the curtain.

"hey, tell me! what do you want?" haru raised his voice while hanging his head all the time.

daisuke pursed his lips into a straight line. that's right, he could no longer stand the him who foolishly waited for something that wasn't going to happen. he had gotten tired of being the only one who showed obvious signs of wanting to get back together.

"that's right, i'm telling you to get the fuck out of my life." daisuke muttered under his breath.

and he knew, that no matter how many times the regret might torment him from then on, it was the last that he would be seeing of haru katou.

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