Kiss Off ↣ jschlatt

iv: and that was that

johnathan schlatt
16 may

she's still pretty.

i was almost hoping that, by seeing her in a call with my friends, she'd somehow morph into a rat or something.

but, no. still pretty. and nice too.

she held conversation pretty well, considering that she was talking to seven new people at once. i was regrettably quiet, but who can blame me? i was nervous.

she was sitting in the same position as always, one leg up on the desk and one bent on her chair, with noticeably more thought put into her clothes.

as a joke, maybe to get her attention, i started to copy her pose. i got my leg up on my desk easily enough, but getting my foot up on my chair was another story.

i had to wrap my arms around my shin to keep it bent up, and i kept shifting back in my chair to try to get myself more room.

"schlatt, what the fuck are you doing?" ted called me out.

milo laughed and i could feel my face getting warmer and warmer.

"he's copying how i sit," she explained. "he asked about it last night."

my face had to be bright red right now.

"last night, huh?" travis joked, implication clear in his voice.

"schlatt joined my stream last night, after carson and i talked about me meeting you guys," she was smiling ear to ear, with her chin on her knee. it's kinda adorable.

"yeah," i confirmed. "she's really fuckin' short." is this becoming an inside joke? i'm all for it.

"i'm not fucking short!" she exclaimed. "i'm barely. below. average."

everyone laughed at her as she pouted.

"how ta—"

"five-foot-nothing." she huffed, cutting off noah.

"you do realize," ted started. "that most of us are over six feet tall, right?"

she was noticeably pink, sinking into her chair more and more.

"i... i... that's not fair!" milo looks kinda cute when she's angry.

charlie laughed, "at least i'm not the 'short one' anymore."

that earned him a more-than-evil look.

"so, uh, where're you from?" connor tried to change the subject.

"i go to school in boston," she started, "but i live with my parents in, like, the middle of nowhere vermont. i see doomsday bunkers on my way to grocery shop, for reference." vermont's weird.

"that's crazy," i said. "do you have a bunker?"

"oh no," she sighed. "we scrapped it a while ago, it's just storage now."

"you have a fucking doomsday bunker in your house?" yelled carson, choking on his drink.

"not in my house," milo laughed, "just on the property. i live on a farm."

this, of course, spawned numerous questions about real-life farming. apparently early-game minecraft farms aren't too far off from the real thing.

"can we come see it?" asked travis. "i wanna meet your goats."

"excuse me?"

"like, if we're ever near vermont," ted continued. "can we visit and see your goats?"

she nudged up her glasses, extremely red. "i guess, if y'all want to."

i sat there, thinking. milo just gave permission for seven guys she just met to meet her goats.

tonight's been weird.

i got a notification, it was a text from carson.

carson king: pax east

oh my god. we're packing up and going to pax east in a week, it's in boston. theoretically, if she's comfortable, we could meet her goats in a week.

"so, milo," i pulled my mic closer to my face. "would you consider boston to be close to where you are in vermont?"

i watched realization wash over the rest of the guys' faces as carson smirked.

"well," she paused to think, "it's definitely doable. it'd be about a two and a half hour drive on a good day, but doable nonetheless." she spoke again, "why?"

"you see, we'll all be at pax east in about a week. pax is in boston so... could we meet your goats?"

"farm vlog! farm vlog! farm vlog!" travis and cooper began chanting.

"i don't see why not."

and that was that.

//

hi! sorry for the author's note (it'll probably never happen again), i just wanted to apologize for two short chapters in a row, but i figured i'd make up for it by posting twice in a day. thanks for reading!