Just A Harmless Joke

Chapter 1: Just A Harmless Joke

Fred Weasley found it strange that he'd never been caught sneaking food from the kitchens, especially since he usually went in the middle of the night. He could only assume it was because Filch, the caretaker, assumed no student knew where the kitchens were-stupid, really, when you considered that Fred and his twin brother George had been caught in quite a few places no one was supposed to know about. Whatever the reason, Fred was glad he'd yet to get in trouble, as he, George, and Lee Jordan took turns going down to the kitchens every week, giving Filch plenty of opportunities to catch them.

"Out for another nightly stroll?" the Fat Lady said dryly as he approached her portrait.

"Actually, I was visiting Professor Snape. Apparently he's fallen madly in love with me and gave me a ton of snacks as a token of his affections."

"Right," she said and rolled her eyes, but she chuckled. "Password?"

"Monkey stew," Fred told her, and the portrait hole swung open. He climbed in with a bit of difficulty (he couldn't use his hands with all the stuff he was carrying), and was relieved to find the common room empty.

At least, he thought it was empty. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a muffled, sleepy-sounding voice say, "Stupid water beans."

"Hermione," he muttered. She'd been studying for the O.W.L.s and the N.E.W.T.s again, though the O.W.L.s weren't for another few months and the N.E.W.T.s weren't for a few more years-at least not for her. It was the fourth time he'd found her sleeping in the common room, lying on a couch with various books scattered around and on top of her. She had one hell of a habit of muttering in her sleep, too. Shaking his head, he went over to wake her.

"I figured it out, Penelope," Hermione mumbled. "Basilisk..."

Fred stopped. He knew instantly that she was reliving the moments in her second year, right before she and Penelope Clearwater had gotten petrified. He gave her a look of pity; he knew Ron had a few nightmares about some of the things he, Harry, and Hermione had been through, and Ginny had bad dreams about the Chamber of Secrets all the time. Fred could only imagine the horrors of giant spiders, snakelike monsters almost as big as dragons, facing the Dark Lord, fighting dementors, and so on. The things that must plague the lot of them...

"Look around the corner with the mirror! It's probably on the loose," Hermione moaned, her voice scared and anguished. Fred admired her strength; to deal with all that she'd faced...

"'Mione, c'mon, wake up," he whispered, setting his food down on a nearby table. "Time for bed."

"We have to find Harry and Ron..."

"'Mione!" Fred shook her shoulder gently.

"Ahh!" Hermione let out a miniature scream, and Fred jumped, then realized she had probably reached the point in her dream when the basilisk had petrified her. She seemed to rest easier after that, and Fred was suddenly reluctant to wake her up. He stared gathering the notes and books spread out across her body and the floor, stacking them up on one of the common room tables. As he plucked An Advanced Guide to Transfiguration from her chest, she smiled and let out a happy giggle.

Deciding it would be best to let her sleep, he slid an arm under her back and another under her knees, lifting her up and cradling her against his chest. He carried her over to the girls' dormitory and up to the top, where the fifth-years roomed.

It was easy to pick out Hermione's bed, and would have been even if the other beds hadn't been full. The bed was crisply made, and the nightstand was neat and orderly. While the other girls had magazines, makeup, and clothes strewn around their beds and on their trunks, Hermione's space was completely clean, and a copy of Hogwarts: A History lay open on the nightstand. He laid her gently on the bed, being quiet so as not to wake up Hermione's dorm mates.