Just A Harmless Joke

Chapter 9: New Ideas

Lee hadn't made it back to lunch by the time Fred and George had been forced to leave for fear of running into Hermione, so they met up on the way to Care of Magical Creatures, Lee filling them in quickly on the girls' opinions as they walked across the lawns.

"It's not good," Lee said flatly. "They think you're jackasses for pulling this. They hope Hermione kicks your ass. And they said don't bother trying to be chummy with them until you've stopped being prats."

"Yeah, that's about what I expected them to say," Fred said with a sigh. "Well, when it's all over and done with, we'll all have a good laugh and a butterbeer."

Lee laughed. "By the time this is all over, the entire thing's going to have become so backwards that George will be proposing to Hermione. I mean, this is all funny and everything, but-" Lee stopped. Fred had stopped walking, standing still with a shocked look of realization on his face. "What's with you?" he asked as he and George turned to stare.

"That's brilliant," Fred breathed. "It's bloody brilliant!"

"What's bloody brilliant?" Lee asked, staring at Fred with a careful sort of look, as though Fred might explode and Lee wanted to be prepared to run for the minimum safe distance.

"Oh, no. Not that look," George moaned. "That's the 'epiphany look.' You've just gotten an idea for some crazy scheme that will at the very least have us facing detention until we graduate, and that's if we're lucky. Otherwise, it's off to Azkaban."

"Stop being so fatalistic," Fred said impatiently. "I've got a great idea!"

"Did they buy it?" Hermione asked in a low voice as she, Harry, and Ron sat in the back of their Charms class, practicing the day's spell.

"He almost cracked," Harry said, sighing. "He stopped himself just in time. Pity; Parvati and Lavender were nearby."

"We'll get him," Ron said. He smiled. "Maybe we should go give Fred our blessing or something, Harry. Say he has our full support in dating our best friend."

Harry chuckled. "Or maybe one of us should go up to him and say we have feelings for 'Mione and want to know if he plans to stay broken up for good."

"Don't," Hermione warned them. "That could end the game, if he's smart. All he'd have to do is say 'sure,' and then it would be over."

"Fred wouldn't do that, he's having too much fun. Besides," Ron said with a smile, "if he did that, we could have a big scene where Hermione says no to one of us because she's too in love with Fred. Or whichever one of us did it could go to Fred and start yelling about how Fred doesn't deserve Hermione-what's with you two?"

Both Harry and Hermione were staring at him in amazement. "That's an excellent idea, Ron!" Hermione breathed. "It'd work so perfectly!"

"Wait, I was kidding," Ron said quickly. "It was a joke."

"Think about it, Ron," Harry said slowly. "One of us asks Hermione out where everyone can hear us. The next day the same person goes chasing down Fred to yell at him... and then the day after that, the one who doesn't do it has a shouting match with Fred about it. You know-something along the lines of 'you don't really care! You're just being selfish! Let someone who deserves her have a go! Watch your back!' That sort of thing."

Ron stared at his excited friends in disbelief. "You guys are kidding, right?"

"No! It'd be great!" Hermione said enthusiastically.

"No way!" Ron exclaimed.

"You don't have to do it, Ron," Harry said reluctantly. "I'll... I'll pretend to be the one with the crush. We'll get Ginny to do the yelling."