Chapter Thirty

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Chapter Thirty

Bowie

What I was feeling was hard to describe. My heart was pounding, my head was light, and my knees had never felt this weak before. While River helped me steady myself by wrapping an arm around my waist, I reached up to grab his shoulders with my hands to prevent my knees to give in.

His lips were soft and warm, and the way they moved against mine made my body shiver and become eager for more. This was what I've wanted for a few months now, and although I tried to get that thought off my mind, I knew I wouldn't be able to keep up with lying to myself about my feelings for River.

Someday, whether it was now or in a few months or years, this would've happened anyway. And to be fully honest, he couldn't have chosen a better moment than tonight. My first kiss, with River, on New Year's.

I moan escaped my throat, and I pushed myself closer to him with my hands now running into his hair at the back of his head. His left hand was still in my cheek, with his thumb slowly brushing along my cheekbone to get rid of the tears I was still shedding.

I wasn't upset anymore. I was happy, but the tears kept coming. With his left arm, he pulled me tight against him, and I started to wonder if this was the longest New Year's Eve kiss in history. I didn't mind, though.

I felt his tongue move along my upper lip, and I slowly opened my mouth to let him in. I wasn't experienced when it came to kissing, but it felt good and right. River knew what he was doing, having kissed many girls before. The thought of that made me furrow my brows, and I pushed it away quickly to concentrate on River and me.

As our tongues touched, I felt sparks in my heart, making me feel even better than before. This was a whole new feeling, and after some seconds, I got used to it and enjoyed the way his tongue moved against mine.

He was gentle, which you wouldn't expect from someone like River. I heard some girls in high school talk about how wild their nights with River were, and how exhausted they were the next morning. He was holding me tight, while his kiss was passionate.

While he kept his arm around my back, his hand moved from my cheek down to my neck, wrapping his fingers gently around it to keep my head in place while he dipped his tongue deeper into my mouth.

I let him explore, but I was running out of breath. Not because I didn't get the gist of breathing between kisses, but because my heart was pumping so fast that I needed more than just quick inhales.

I pulled on his hair, and his tongue slowly left my mouth to plant one last soft kiss on my lips. He moved his head back, looking into my eyes with lust filling his. He cupped both my cheeks again, and I moved my hands down to his chest, grabbing on to his sweater, He was warm, and I wasn't as cold as I was before either.

We looked at each other, neither of us saying a word. River's lips turned into a smile, and he leaned in to kiss my forehead before finally breaking the silence.

"I'm not going to hide my feelings for you any longer, Bow. I love you. I don't think it's good for us to keep dancing around it. We can make this work," he said, looking back into my eyes.

I had no doubt we wouldn't make it work. "I'm scared, River," I whispered, looking down at his chest. "What if we fight too much? And what if we realize that we're not supposed to be...a couple."

River chuckled, gripping my hair on each side of my head tightly and tilting my head to look up at him again. "In all those years...I think this was our first ever fight. And I don't care if this is what we're supposed to be. I want you, Bowie. You're my forever. Let me be yours, too."

He pressed his lips on mine again and I melted into the kiss immediately. This time, I wanted to be the one to initiate more than just a simple kiss, so I opened my mouth slightly and moved my tongue against his lips. But it didn't last as long as our first one. He broke the kiss, moving back again to look at me.

"I love you," I whispered, smiling up at him and trying to keep my emotions inside. "And I'm sorry for shouting at you earlier. I guess I was trying to avoid this."

River smirked, scratching the spots behind my ears with his fingers. "Avoid? Hell, did you just experience what I experienced? Our first kiss, Bowie!" he said proudly.

I laughed softly, wrapping my arms around his waist, and leaning into him. He put his arms around my shoulders, and one of his hands moved back into my hair. "We'll make this work, Bow."

We stood there for a moment, and after he rubbed my back with his hand, he kissed the top of my head and nodded to the back door. "Let's go back inside. I've kept you out here in the cold for far too long," he said.

He grabbed my hand, interlocking our fingers together tightly, and leading me back inside where everyone was dancing and chugging their drinks. It was already fifteen minutes past midnight, and I couldn't have wished for a better New Years.

We hadn't even discussed what we were, but we were way passed the getting to know each other. I didn't wanna have this talk with him right now, not with everyone being drunk and hyped around us.

"Whit!" River called out, and Whitley turned to look in our direction. "There you are! God, you left me hanging on midnight," she pouted, hugging me first, then River. "Happy New Year," she told us.

"Happy New Year," both River and I replied.

"We're leaving," he said, and I looked up at him in surprise. We are?

"Why?" Whitley whined, looking at me and then back at River. "What's going on with you two?" she asked with a hint of suspicion in her voice.

"We had a little discussion. I want to be alone with her," he told her, and I smiled at his words. Whitley sighed, then shrugged. "All right. Call me if you wanna hang out before we go back to Durango," she said, then disappeared in the crowd again.

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