Stay With Me

Twenty one

I walked into the familiar driveway, my hands shaking as I fished the keys under the third gnome from the left side of the patio. The house is the same as it was when I left, the light blue paint illuminates every dark highlights of the windows. My dad's mercedes is still park outside the garage, my old car taking its place inside the garage. I opened the front door and inhaled the familiar scent. My dad still keeps the same perfume, family portraits hang in the hallway as I made my way to stairs, passing the large family room and a fireplace. The hallway upstairs didn't change at all, a reminder that no one really lived here for a long time. I walked pass the master's bedroom and the office as I reach my room.

Nothing had change, there were dust everywhere too, a sign that no one entered the room, my bed is still messy and my closet is still open, just like how I left it. I put my backpack on my bed and opened my bed side table to get my car keys, I have decided to not go straight to the hospital and just let everything sink in. It did of course, everything that just happened this week flashed back in my head making my body weak.

The sun is shining outside and I have made an effort to drag myself to my bmw before I hit the early New York traffic. Everything is in place too, my kurt cobain bubble head still on my dashboard, and my pillow on the back seat. I drove the streets of New York, too anxious to even appreciate everything. I have missed this place but it's not why I'm here. I have been ignoring my phone since the last call I got, I have been ignoring a lot of calls from anyone actually.

"I'm here for Stanly Ba-"

"You're Nike?" The lady with a red head and freckles behind the counter asked, I nodded and she gave me a full smile before extending her hands.

"You resembled your father so much... I'm Joyce, the attending nurse" she said, I shook her hands and gave back her smile.

"You look pale, are you okay?"

"How's my dad?" I asked, ignoring her question, she gave me a stern look before she leads me to the hallway, asking for us to walk.

"He's been in and out the hospital since last year, tough horse, your dad. Always insisting that nothing's wrong...."

"But there's something wrong??" I asked, Joyce gave me a nod as we turn left, I now noticed the patience's room. My hands shaking as I see patience lying in their bed. I don't feel so good.

"Yes, the doctors have found a clot on one of his major arteries and if we didn't do surgery it'll get worse" she said as she stopped on a door with a "Stanley Bates" sign in front. I am not yet ready for this. Joyce opened the door but I looked away and sit across the room. The heavy smell of disinfectant made my head spin.

"You can tell me...I mean, if that'll make you feel any better" Joyce said, sitting next to me. Her eyes full of concern and sincerity, her cheeks burn red when I looked at her. I shook my head, knowing that talking about my family will make my whole situation worst.

"Well, you have all day..." She said as she started walking away, I kind of wish she didn't walked away because I don't like to be alone in a hallway...of a hospital...

"Pathetic" I murmured to myself as I stand up and walk across the room. My hands trembling as I held the doorknob. "Come on you little pussy" I said to myself as I open the door.

My father. Once a healthy man, quite pretty as well, his once fit body is now skinny, and paler as ever, his wavy hair now dry, and he's been growing a beard. My dad's been sick. No, wait, my dad is sick. I sat on the nearest chair and stared at him. He's quite not like the father I left 2 years ago, I mean, he's like the zombie version of my daddy.

"Hi dad." I blurted the words as I held his hand. My chest swell up and tears began to flow from my eyes.

"Yeah...I'm home daddy...I know you can hear me daddy, it's our time now..." I said squeezing his hand, as if waiting a response, but I failed.