Constant Heartache (SwapxFell) ~Completed!~

Chapter 9: Why bother?

I've never felt this empty. Not even the first time Killer did this. I didn't cry, didn't shout, not even a whimper. I just let Killer have his way. Of course, it pissed him off a little as he was a sadist, but I just didn't have it in me to beg anymore. He broke bones, cut me to the core, crushed my SOUL hard enough to crack, but never killed me. Whenever I was on the very edge of death he'd just reset. I couldn't remember all of it of course, but bits and pieces are always popping up at me. He sometimes just sat there and talked. Talked about how I was a perfect puppet, talked of how I belonged to him and no one else, and... sometimes, he'd talk about how he felt. After so many times of resetting to kill his friends and family, he was feeling almost as empty as I was. Those were the times I liked. The ones where I got to see the true him, not the facade he puts up. The skeleton I fell in, and out of, love with. It made me sad and not so empty anymore. But those were the times where he'd reset to rape me again. After pouring what little SOUL he had left into me, he always had a way to take it right back. I missed Pappy and the others of course, but for now, I was just glad they hadn't found us. My eye sockets droop, exhaustion setting in again. How many times has it been? Time doesn't flow properly in an AU that keeps resetting. How many days have I been gone from my AU? How much have I missed? I miss everyone so much... at least he allowed me to right a short letter for my brother.

US Pap's view:

It's been nearly a month since we've seen Blue. Of course, none of this would have happened in the first place if I had kept a closer eye on him! Why couldn't I see what he was going through? Why couldn't I have been a better brother for him? The only thing we've seen of Blue's was a letter that floated from the sky into my hands. I'm actually quite surprised he was allowed to send anything to us. I unroll the letter again for the fifth time today.

Dear Papyrus, I want you to know that I'm okay. Please don't come looking for me bro. I've given myself to Killer. I knew I'd have to go back eventually. Live your life. Be free. I just want to tell you to not eat too much junk food and learn to cook something. If I'm in the afterlife and hear you've been going to Muffet's every day I will personally hunt you down and haunt you for eternity. That's all I have room for I guess. I love you so much Pappy, I hope you know that.

That was all. Those few words in his heavy handwriting. Would they be his last words to me? No! I can't think like that. He'll make it... He promised he'd never leave me. He promised... I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder. Fell is still here. He's insisted on staying over for a while. He gets me through the rougher patches. He really loves my bro, I can tell. I didn't notice the tears streaming down my face until he hands me a towel to wipe with. I sniff loudly and return my attention back to the maps. We've checked so many AUs, but not one of them has heard from Blue. This seems to get more hopeless by the day to me, but every failed attempt just seems to make Fell more determined to succeed. If only Blue were capable of teleportation instead of his useless excuse of a brother. He'd be here with us now. I growl as I stare at the map. The red, crossed out circles seemed to be mocking me. I sigh and am about to point to another one we could visit when I see something. A small blue blip. It was only for a second, but I could tell that Fell had seen it as well. It flashed again, somewhere near the left-center of the map. I squinted, but it didn't happen again. Me and Fell looked at each other, both of us understanding at once. We grabbed each other's hands and teleported to the strange AU know only as UnderDrop. In this AU, the human never came. In fact, no one ever came. It was a very lonely AU where Sans, for some reason was unable to die and watched everyone he knew eventually dust. He took to living alone in the forest, but often went to Snowdin or the Hotlands for any sort of difference to the sameness. We were at his hut in the woods. It looked like someone was inside. I only had a moment to ponder whether Drop was inside or not before Fell pulled me against the wall. The door slammed open and Killer marched out holding a very disgruntled Drop by the scarf. He threw him outside. 

"We'll only be here for a while Droppy. Go play in the Hotlands or something." Killer purrs.

"Listen here you! I want to know where you came from! Who are you and what are you doing in my house? Come on! You're the first skeletons I've seen in four years! Give me somethin' please!" Drop yelps as he was thrown into the snow.

Killer stalks closer to him and pulls out a knife.

"I can't kill you, but I can make your life tenfold worse if you interrupt me and my sweetheart again maggot." He sticks his head through the door. "Be right back sweetheart. Hang tight for a minute won't you?" He chuckles darkly and starts to drag Drop through the snow and into the trees.

Drop went limp and sighed, letting Killer drag him away by the back of the scarf. Me and Fell ran in as soon as they were out of earshot and found Blue chained by his hands. He was hanging a few inches from the floor and his eyes were closed. Fell ran over and covered his mouth in case he screamed when he saw us and I got to work on undoing the chain. He slowly opened his eyes an let out a muffled yelp. He swung back on the chain, yanking it from my grasp.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE? I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME, YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!" He curses at us in an urgent whisper.

I ignore him and grab the chain back. I snap it open and he falls into Fell's arms. We quickly exit and leave back to our own AU.

(A/N Hello, hello. Sorry about the rushed ending, but like always, I have school. Underdrop is my own personal AU that I created. The story is kind of sad, but I might make it into a mini story once this one is done. Have a great day!)