The boy they couldn't see

Chapter 9: It's dignity and not pride.

   IT'S DIGNITY AND NOT PRIDE

I cooked up a warm smile. "No, I'm fine." I lied

"Mum, did I seem troubled?" I directed the question at her and watched as a brief confusion played on her face. She shifted her eyes to the pastor who spared her a glance as well. For some purpose, she appeared reluctant to mention to the pastor the fact that she suspects that I might have been talking to no one. Possibly, she felt embarrassed or she just wasn't sure about her hypothesis.

"Well, that's okay." Pastor Nelson intervened and my eyes were back on him.

"You've assured your mum and me that you're fine and I believe that's good. Your mum worries a lot about you so if you do feel stressed or need someone to talk to, remember, we're here and so is God." He conveyed with a warm smile and I nodded in accordance as I wore a smile of my own.

That night, I turned on my bed several times. My conscience pricked at me.

I stared at the ceiling, "I won't go to hell for lying to a servant of God, right?"

"I'm not sure it works like that." I startled at the sound of the voice as I looked its direction.

I laid a hand on my chest to calm my jumpy heart. "I've told you several times to stop doing that," I instructed, but he simply stared at me before looking away. As he relaxed his head on the pillow, he stared at the ceiling.

Wait... my pillow?

"Why are you here? Who said you could lie on my bed?"

He shifted his eyes to me. "I've been wandering all day. It feels nice to rest beside someone who can see and speak to me." His sentence was filled with his shameless cry for pity. Annoyingly, it was working.

"Don't you feel strange? A little embarrassed? I mean, we've never spoken to each other in school and here you are, lying on my bed."

I watched him shrug his shoulders. "I guess it's different when you're unseen and, in school, you're the one who refused to talk to me."

"Me!?" I exclaimed at his unreasonable observation.

He nodded. "I guess I was beneath your league."

"What? I didn't think that and why should I be the first to speak to you?"

"See? Pride. You've got pride. You think you're better than me because you're from a wealthy home and I'm not. You believe I don't deserve to go to that school because I don't pay even half the money the rest of you do."

What!? A frown played on my face as I sat up in outrage.
"First, I don't have pride. Do I carry myself with dignity? Yes, I do. Second, I didn't choose the family to be born into and it's not my fault that your family is in the state it is. Third, Yes, maybe I'm a tinny bitsy bit vexed that we got to pay the amount we do but you don't and you still get all the praises and the position that has always been mine." I vented and in the end, I was only left with an accelerated heartbeat and a faint weight off my chest.

Who knew deep down, I bottled up more than I'd let on. Once I locked eyes with Bayo and his I told you so slash I can't believe this slash I am sad and upset expression, I realised I might have spoken the truth in the wrong way and for the wrong intentions.

I felt bad. I felt bad! Why should I feel bad? I didn't do anything wrong. Still, my annoying conscience pricked at me. I lowered my eyes away from his, letting out a tight-lipped sigh at the same time.

I lifted my eyes, "Look..."

"It's okay. Believe it or not, I'm not upset. I don't have the luxury to feel that way now. The most important thing for me is making sure my mum stays strong and healthy. You're my only hope so, please don't mess it up."

I opened my mouth to speak, the door pushed open and instantly, I was looking at its direction. Mum stood by the door, a slight frown between her brows and questions detailed within her eyes. I watched her lurk her eyes left and right, probably to be sure if anyone else was in. Please don't tell me she listened in on me talking. Now, what lie will I come up with if she asks me again to confess who I've been speaking to?

"Why aren't you asleep yet? It's late and you have school tomorrow."

Okay, so she's not touching that topic. Great. Good.

"I'm having difficulty sleeping," I spoke the truth.

I watched her let out a light sigh before she walked in. A peek to my side and Bayo was already gone.

"Why is that so? What do you have on your mind?"

To be fair, I wasn't quite sure which exactly. I just... well one does stand out. I need to pass my exams excellently and make dad proud. I can't have him scold me again.

"Nothing much. Maybe school or I'm just not sleepy. Perhaps... I can get my phone just for tonight." I tried and watched as her lips formed a thin, straight line. She wasn't buying into my pity tale.

"You know you're authorized to it only on weekends so, it's best you go to sleep now. You wouldn't want to doze during class hours,  would you?" She pointed out and I shook my head in reply. She smiled and I laid back and watched as she walked back to the door.

"Goodnight." She put in with a warm smile.

"Goodnight mum."

Soon, she was out, shutting the door after her. I took one more look to my side and there was still no sign of Bayo. Well, I guess that's great for me. It's a minorly hard falling asleep with him here. I drew in a deep breath as I tried to push all my thoughts aside, I shut my eyes to allow sleep take me whenever it wishes.

After school hours, I hooked arms with Laila and dragged her along till we were outside the building and by the gate.

"For goodness sake Rida! What's all this about?" She grumbled as she withdrew her arm away from me. I looked around, finding this the right location and time to let her know my intention.

"I need to leave school."

"Yeah, we all need to. It is closing hours and my mum will be here soon."

"No, not that. Like... I need to go somewhere and I need you to come with me." I clarified but she simply stared at me like I wasn't okay.

"You're fooling, right? Where would you want to go?"

I gazed beyond Laila and there Bayo stood. I'd scarcely seen him all day. Don't get me wrong, I like the privacy but I was also curious as to where he goes whenever I do not see him.

"Hospital. Tell her hospital. My mum is there right now." He spoke out and I nodded before bringing my gaze back on Laila who now stared at me a little confused.

"The hospital. I'm going to the hospital."

"Why? Are you ill? We should go to the school nurse..."

"No. To the hospital Bayo's at. I need to speak to his mum."

Her gaze was empty and shortly she blinked a few times before reaching her hand out to me, placing the back of her palm on my forehead.

"Are you sure you're okay? It seems you're ill."

I took her hand down. "Laila I'm serious."

"No, you're not. You're saying you want to go to the hospital where Bayo's at. Why? You've never spoken to him and you never liked him. Why do you care now?"

My eyes met Bayo's once more and there was nothing different about his attitude in regards to her statement. I, on the other hand, had felt an unusual wave of guilt. Guilt! Why do I feel that way? I never did anything to hurt him.

"Look, I promise, I'll explain everything to you someday but now, we have to leave. Time's running out."

"Rida I don't know what this is about but my mum will be here real soon and if I'm not here, I won't be able to hear the end of it from her."

"That's why I'm saying we should hurry."

"Do you even have the address? Do you know where you're going? Have you ever used public transport? No, right?"

A sigh eluded my lips. Fine, I haven't thought that far primarily about the transport but that's also a good justification to bring her along. Two can't get lost, right?