Wonderfall

Mamihlapinatapei

Camila's POV

Mamihlapinatapei (n.): the wordless look between two people who both desire something, yet are equally reluctant to initiate.

Warm, sweet, wet, evasive, luscious... My mind was drowning in words that described the feeling of Lauren's lips on mine, so enthralling that our mouths appeared to become one. Pleasurable, numbing, addictive, provocative. 

Her mouth burned mine as she bit my lips with yearning, her skin almost disintegrating under my touch. The sensations I could perceive in Lauren left me in complete ecstasy as if every movement or reaction of hers drove me crazy. 

As if Lauren made my soul come. 

My heart, a mere architect of foreign emotions, pounded wantonly, making every inch of my skin ache in the burning desire of drowning in her lips; architected, for the first time, by destiny into a state of deep passion. 

Passion? The question popped up in my mind, and my heart answered, beating erratically inside my ribcage. Passion... I nodded mentally, my thorax incinerating. 

I clutched the back of her neck, pulling her closer as if it would merge her with my body. Her nails sank deeper into my arms, my system reacting to that pleasurable pain with a shiver, and I sucked her lower lip into my mouth. 

When the air became scarce, we inhaled deeply, in sync, without pulling away. Lauren was still clawing at my arms and I couldn't—nor wanted—take my hands off her face. As if we agreed on it, our chests went up and down rhythmically, and our breathings were erratic, giving away the chaotic mess we became after having experienced that mind-numbing kiss. 

I felt as if I was invaded, as if Lauren had torn my mind, body, and soul in two, turning me into her object of manipulation. 

The previous days I had decided I would treat her like any other student. I intended to help her with her desires regarding architecture, but it had taken bigger proportions than I expected. My plans didn't go beyond helping a student who visibly deserved more attention than anyone else, for having such a sensory perception. But, at the end of the day, I found my mind was being consumed endlessly by the thought of Lauren Jauregui and her unexpected but rapturous kiss; by Lauren Jauregui and the longing look in her eyes; by Lauren Jauregui and her delicate, porcelain skin; by Lauren Jauregui and I, Camila Cabello, who suddenly appeared to be the most engrossing, maddening, ravishing desire I had ever had in my life. 

My rational thinking had been thrown out of the window. After five Tuesdays and a couple more days, no reason didn't give in to the sweet irrationality Lauren was inside me. All my efforts to act maturely around her started to shatter the moment I stared into her eyes, those that trapped me in chains as if I was hers, sledgehammering my inner structures. 

And there I was, at Lauren's mercy, surrendered to her lips and feelings, to her intriguing inner turmoil. 

"Y-you've kissed me..." She said, her voice faint. 

Her lips brushed against mine as she spoke, and the feeling made the corners of my mouth quirk up against her mouth, eliciting a smile from her. 

"Yeah..." I whispered, grazing my lower lip on hers while holding back a smile but failing, like every time I tried to hide my feelings for Lauren. "I've kissed you," I said, my voice coming out weaker than I wished, disclosing the absence of oxygen in my lungs. 

Her grip on my arms tightened and we opened our eyes. She made me feel as if I was being swallowed, and I couldn't stop making out the details of her irises, the darkish contour of her eyes, her eyeliner-painted eyelashes, her dilated pupils...