Lonesome Falls (a Gravity Falls AU)

Arrival

Ah, summer break. A time for  leisure, recreation, and existing in a somewhat normal plane of existence. Unless you're me.

Nothing really happened is this town. That's the first thing you thing when entering Gravity Falls. You're wrong, of course, but it's still a shock to have a golf cart slam down onto the path at high speeds. 

My name is Dipper. The girl about to puke is my sister, Mabel. You may be wondering why we're in a golf cart, fleeing from a creature of unimaginable horror. Rest assured, there is a perfectly logical explanation. 

Always annoying when the author jumps into the story without a bit of background, isn't it?

Let's rewind.

Our parents decided we needed some 'fresh air' and shipped us off to a small town in Roadkill County, Oregon called Gravity Falls. We're staying with our Great-Uncle Stan and his friend, Ford Trembley for the summer.  I don't pretend to know what's up with them. (Half the time, it looks like they  change their ages) Stan runs a tourist trap called the 'Mystery Shack' . The real mystery is why the government hasn't come and confiscated everything Ford builds. Ford has six fingers on each hand and could probably destroy the world if he felt like it. Stan and Ford have this guy that hangs out with them, Fiddleford(?) McGucket. He's around 20 and other than that I know pretty much nothing about him.  Mabel is going through here 'boy crazy phase'  I think I'm dying at a faster rate than normal because of it. Here, have a flashback.

"He's looking at it, he's looking at it!" Mabel was screeching. Again.

"Mabel, no."

"Mabel, yes."

The rigged note was in place. You know the one. Don't give me that look. 

Dipper sighed. "Look, could you tune it down on the 'crazy' part?"

"Mock all you want brother o' mine, but I bet the man of my dreams is going to walk out that door *right* now."

Stan took that opportunity to walk through the door, at age 28, with a mullet. Angelic music played.

"Aw, come on!"

Stan cleared his throat. "Look alive, people, I need somebody to hammer up these signs in the spooky part of the forest,"

"Not it."

"Not it."

"Um, also not it."

"Nobody asked you, Soos."

"I know, and I'm okay with that."

Stan sighed. "Wendy, I need you to put up these signs!"

Wendy looked over from where she was reading Avoiding Eye Contact Monthly . " I would, but I... can't... reach...it."

"I'd fire you all if I could." 

At that moment Ford walked in, carrying what appeared to be a severed hand. His hair was partially on fire. Stan opened his mouth to speak, then closed it. 

"Alright, Dipper." He tossed the signs in his direction. 

"Grunkle Stan, I always get a bad feeling when I'm in those woods, like I'm being watched," he held out his arm. "Today my mosquito bites spelled out "beware"."

Stan looked closer. "That says 'Bewarb'."

———————~this time skip is brought to you by Fleegix~————————

" Nobody listens to anything I say..."

Thunk, hammer on wood.

Thunk, hammer on wood.

Clang, hammer on metal.

"What?"

Clang, hammer on metal.

A hatch in a tree, a few levers, a few switches. Everything and nothing. This is how things really start. 

Dust blown off a cover. A mangled hand, only the three still visible. A small variation in the multiverse, a mystery left unsolved, for a time. 

It's hard to believe it's been six years since I arrived in Gravity Falls, Oregon...

"HEY, whatcha readin', some nerd thing?"

This is how things really start.

Gsrmp blf pmld dsviv gsrh rh tlrmt? Gsrmp ztzrm.