Lonesome Falls (a Gravity Falls AU)

Why my roommate is a mythical entity, by Fiddleford H. McGucket (part three)

Alternatively titled: 'In which the henchmaniacs are actually ok and can turn into humans'

Alternatively titled: 'Fiddleford is so done with this s**t'

Fiddleford was, in a word, weird. A side effect of living in the same space as Ford Pines, he's found. However, he was used to Ford. He was not used to Ford's brother. Ford's ghost brother. Ford's ghost brother that Fiddleford was fairly sure was not supposed to be looking this maniacal. Given the situation, a bit of mania was to be expected, and encouraged if you wanted to get by with some of your sanity intact, but this was a bit much. The reason for his concern was thus:

One(1) dream demon, whom Fiddleford was fairly sure had tried to brew coffee with more coffee earlier that day (humans weren't supposed to have that many eyes, either)

One(1) maniacal looking ghost, seemingly unaware that random objects were floating in the air around him 

Approximately twenty-four(24) sheets of paper, strewn across the table with no organization whatsoever 

What appeared to be a small Tesla coil.

The aforementioned ghost and demon were at present planning something for graduation. What, exactly, they were planning, Fiddleford doesn't want to know. He hopes nobody will get arrested, even if that sets the bar a tad high. 

He is interrupted in his musings by Ford asking, in a tone that is far too casual,

"How much blood is too much blood?" He is staring straight ahead, not blinking. 

Fiddleford thinks he should probably be disturbed by this question, but he isn't. 

"I'm realizin' why you don't have any human friends except for me," he notes. "And any blood is too much blood." 

Ford looks remarkably unsatisfied with this, and opens his mouth to say something when there's a knock on the door. He excuses himself quickly, and goes to get it. 

When he opens the door, it is to a woman with pink hair, the only thing showing her to be not-human is the third eye in the middle of her forehead and the small horns protruding from her scalp. Even those are hard to notice, and Fiddleford thinks it's a remarkably good disguise. 

"I need to talk to my boss," she says without preamble. There's the slightest hint of reverb in her voice. 

"Ford?" Fiddleford asks, deciding its sometimes better not to ask questions.

She nods.

"He's planning to blow up the school at some later date, I'll get him." He wonders, not for the first time, what he did to deserve this.

When he walks back over, Ford is ranting about pigeons and Stanley is going through various IDs and muttering to himself about 'states I'm banned in'. He tells Ford, dragging him away and not even planning to ask what a 'Dusk2Dawn' or a 'Hide Behind' are.

"Pyronica! Didn't expect to see you here, what's going on?"

She gives him a dead eyed stare. "You know when you set your brother loose on Lottocron 9?"

"Y-e-e-e-s..." Ford looked very guilty.

"And how the two of you unintentionally broke the government?"

"Y-e-e-e-s..." Ford looked a great deal less guilty, and something more like pride crept onto his face.

"Well, after they fixed it, someone bet on Stanley becoming president," she said, exasperated. "Thing is, I think he's actually going to run."

"I doubt it," said Ford. "He's busy at the moment." A large bat came screeching out of the room.

"Just thought I'd tell you." She paused. "Also, Ford Prefect discovered the Fourth Wall."

A look came over Ford's face. The expression on his face went from sheer delight to terror and back again fast enough to give any being emotional whiplash. 

Pyronica then disappeared in a puff of smoke, for dramatic purposes, Fiddleford assumed. 

Later that day, Ford asks Stanley "So, are you running for president of Lottocron 9?"

The pause was incriminating. 

"STANLEY!"