Love Doesn't Have Words [SLOW UPDATES]

-Messed Up Again-

Property of Russia

When America is done with school (I was still on my brief medical leave), he and I went out for coffee. The coffee shop he chose was small and quiet, with not many people. To me, that's the perfect atmosphere for a café.

I can remember back when I was little, dad took me to a quiet café. I can remember is the warm and cozy aura to the building from the cold snow. I remember holding a decaffeinated latte (my father didn't trust my young self with caffeine), it was so big for my small hands. Now, those hands are big enough to close around America's.

Speaking of America, when he got in the café and finished out orders, he took me to an empty room upstairs. The two of us spent our time signing to each other about whatever we wanted to talk about and talking sips of our respective coffees (I ordered a simple americano, and he got an iced vanilla latte with extra vanilla, which I thought was very extra, just like he was).

Being the guy America is, he took advantage of how no one else in the café knew sign language, and he would sign more... private things to me. It was mostly romantic things that just flustered me, but he tried to pull out some sexual signs, though I could barely read them. He said he would teach them to me later, which implied a lot more than just teaching, but we changed the subject anyways.

We walked back to my house before splitting ways, and on the way there he asked to hold my hand. I held it out for him, and he gratefully intertwined our fingers. Once again I noticed how his hands were smaller than mine, but warmer, too. My fingers were long, and smothered his, but he didn't mind as he gave a content squeeze, which may or may not have made my heart skip a beat.

A few late-night phone calls and small dates (all of which made me fall for the little guy more. Once again, weak gay heart) later, I was going back to school. As me and my siblings walked to the grounds, I remembered the feel of America's hand in mine. I missed its warmth.

My day went pretty normal. My teachers filled me in (I had done a lot of the work I missed at home), and I conversed with my friends. In first period, Canada seemed to understand, America probably told him a little bit. Japan hugged me tight and said she missed me. She also said she and Yuko were worried, and I gave her a thanking smile.

Philippines, Malaysia, and Indonesia were worried too, but didn't really push on the "why" part, which I internally thanked them for.

In art class, of course my friends asked. Last time I missed school for a medical reason, I never came back, so I understood their worry.

"We missed you a lot. It's so less fun here without you, Ross!" Estonia complained while doing some highlights on a portrait she had been working on.

"I'm assuming it was PTSD related, huh?" Slovenia asked. "Estie, you got a little paint on your shirt, how many times do we have to tell you to wear a smock when painting?"

I chuckled silently at my friend's antics. Poland gave me a reassuring pat on the back, and I gave her a warm smile as we all moved back to our portraits. No one asked about mine, but I could tell they shared knowing smiles as the shape of an energetic striped boy began to form from my own portrait. And no one needed to know about how the pink and yellow tones of the background were romantic. No one at all.

The day had gone pretty smoothly after that. I had agreed to talk to America by his locker before heading home, so I eagerly packed my things in a hurry. Before I could set off to see him, though, someone stopped me with a tug of my hat.

When I turned to see my Korean friend Sevko, I stopped. I hadn't seen her since the incident. I'm not the best at reading people, but I could see that she looked slightly sad. I hope she didn't feel guilty.

But, like I thought, she apologized. I wrote in the notebook she brought to assure her it was okay, but she told me to save my words. Trusting her, I let her lead the way to wherever she wanted to talk. This place was near the side of the school and somewhat behind it, in the shade of a tree.

"I get it," she says, leaning against the tree. She looked tired. "It wasn't my fault. It was his."

My thoughts stuttered. The amount of disgust in her voice startled me. Has she really been thinking that it was all America's fault all this time? Had she just been wallowing in her hatred for him, adding more fuel to the fire with this incident?

I hurriedly scribble into the page that, no, it wasn't his fault either. It was no one's fault. But before I could finish my thoughts, she stood my hand still with her own.

"Don't defend him, Russia. I understand." Her eyes were so warm for how coldly she was treating America.

I shake my head, trying to insist my point in a way that she would understand. When I look back to her, though, she looks... disappointed. All the coldness returned to her eyes and her lips were pressed into a thin line. I could barely see her black lipstick anymore.

"Russia... don't tell me you're choosing him over me," she spat out.

I was frantic to try and deny. I wasn't choosing favorites, I couldn't chose between friends. Well, America wasn't just a friend, but that doesn't mean he's superior to my friends. I pick up the notebook and scrawl a messy "no" before showing her.

She reads it over for a lot longer h tho an she needed to. It made me overwhelmed with anxieties, my mind racing about how I could possible get myself out of this mess, if I had just made it worse, if she would accept this answer. But instead of answering me, all Sevko did was smile. She didn't have her black lips hidden, but I could feel the malice still in her closed eyes. And with that, she pushed off the tree and left, her smaller form walking away with her usual perfect posture.

Did I just mess up again?
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Author's note:
Hey friends! You've probably got bored of my "sorry for my hiatus"s. I won't say that this time. Instead, I'll talk about the chapter. A start of a new arc! More problems for the boys, but they'll face them together now. I wonder what's up with Sevko. And that little bully guy, we haven't heard from him in a while.

Anyways, I'll also answer a question i got a lot last A/N. Will there be smut? Now, personally, I don't know if I'd want to write smut for CH. The boys are also minors, so you'd have to wait for a while for that. But, they are 17, and an nsfw chapter seems to be a bit of a popular demand. Eventually, they'll be 18, so maybe I'll give you guys some nsfw... as a treat. Would my you guys want one? If there's enough positive feedback for a nsfw chapter, I'll oblige :]!

Once again, I'm going to leave off saying that I don't know when the next chapter will come out. This one took me a long time, the next one will too. It means a lot that you guys are sticking around for the story despite my hiatuses, I don't think I'd be able to.

Remember to stay safe and wear your mask, the pandemic is no where near over. And, if you are American and can, vote! voting season is almost up and it's so important. Goodbye until next chapter. I'll be in the comments with y'all :]

EDIT 3: I FORGOT TO PUT THE "PROPERTY OF RUSSIA" AT THE BEGINNING CHCJDKSKKVKDKS anyways have a good day :] don't ask where the other edits went, they weren't important >:[