Hate Me

Sorry😢

I am still sulking in my room when the phone starts to buzz and the song Why by Rema fills the room. I am now tired of hearing that song!

I pick up my Techno F1 and am about to slam it against the wall but stop.

My first reason is, it cost my dad 18,000 naira to buy me the phone, it is not expensive but it's all I have. Second, it is my first phone, and lastly, the name that is displayed on the screen.

It read 'Nathaniel *kiss emoji*' Why is he calling me? A few minutes ago, he indirectly told me he doesn't want me around.

So why is he calling? I stare at my phone and mute it. He calls about five more times and I just leave the phone to ring.

I pick up my phone and place it on flight mode when I've had enough. Then I remove the kiss emoji I used to save his contact and also change my ringtone to a happy one.

A few minutes later, there is a knock on the door. What now?

I had unbraided the cornrows on my head and I am rocking my full-blown natural afro.

I had been crying for almost thirty minutes. Not just because of Nathaniel but the memories of what Victor did to me yesternight.

The knock on the door comes again. This time, More persistent than the last. I run over to the mirror after calling out to the knocker

"I'm coming"

My hair is in huge tangled knots, my eyes dead red. My nose a bit swollen, shiny, and running.

Believe me, when I say, I am nothing near a hot mess. I sniffle as I head for the door.

"Who is there? "I query and there is no answer. Just another knock.
I ask the question again but still no answer.

I open the door in anger and boom! There he is. His tall body towering over me. I try to slam the door in his face but he puts his leg in the way.

He groans in pain at the impact of the door slamming into his foot and as much as I want to open the door and apologize, I don't.

Serves him right. I turn my back to him and he walks in. Why is Nathaniel here? What does he want?

"Jade I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. I just..." he makes to speak but I cut him off.

"It's just that you spoke your mind. Why are you apologizing? " I spit.

"No, Jade. You know nothing that is on my mind. Absolutely nothing.

I keep trying to make you see it but, it's either you don't care, or you just don't want to see it!" He replies. His gaze on the floor.

"What? "I question in confusion.

"You don't see. You don't see what I feel, how I feel, you just don't.

Why Jade? I understand you, but you don't do me. Why? "He queries and confusion strikes me like thunder.

"Why? What can I see?" I question. Completely lost.

"Why don't you see that I lo....."He screams.

Was he about to say what I think??

"That you? "I inquire with much curiosity.

"It's nothing" he replies sharply.

"Finish your statement! " I scream at him.
A part of me is dying to hear those words and he just stoped when he was about to say it?

He suddenly steps closer to me and holds my shoulders. He looks angered but then guilt takes over his expression.

"I am sorry. "He says again, slowly letting go of my shoulders. At this point, we look like characters from an Indian series. With my short self standing before this flawless being.

I feel my chest heat up. I don't know what this feeling is, but it's all warm and fussy inside.

"Sorry for? " I question whilst looking into his eyes. Trying to decode the complex emotions in them.

"For everything." He replies as he breaks eye contact with me.

" Why were you ignoring me?"I question. My voice breaking. I am not sure what to expect.

"I was cause I am guilty Jade. I am sorry for doing it. "He replies but I'm still confused.

"But Nathaniel?.. "He doesn't wait for me to finish my statement before he deeps his hands in his pockets and turns to leave.

I call his name again. I know he heard me but all the same, he doesn't turn around.

I am confused. At least I feel good to know he doesn't want me to stay away from him, but what exactly is he being sorry for?

I suddenly remember Edna and Faith telling me that I was brought unconscious to the hostel by Nathaniel.

The thought of something possibly happening between us knocks me off my feet and I crash onto the bed behind me.