ZigZag [Dan Howell]

Chapter 3

Chapter 3 

I had a tendency of being late. I was never accurate with timing. So, if I had to meet a friend (comme Dan) I would usually be fifty thousand minutes late. Luckily, I had put makeup on to not look like a heroin addict.

The park was fifteen minutes away. . . if I walked. If I took a cab, I'd be there instantly. Yeah, I'd do that. 

The park was pretty, even if I wasn't much of an outdoor person. It was a great shade of. . . green. I stood in one place with my hands crossed in front of me, sighing. I take out my phone.

So are you here? I don't want to look crazy or something I put, hitting send and sitting on a bench. Suddenly, the bench gets heavier and there's someone next to me. "Hey, Daniel!"

"It's. . . just Dan," he says. I laugh nervously.

"Right," I say, standing up. "So, a park. Very. . . primary school of you."

He stands up as well, much taller than me. "Hey, don't say that. I have another place in mind," he says. I chuckle.

"I'm just teasing, love," I say through laughs. He looks at me funny. Was it the love? Crap. I hate being a British person. But, he was a British person as well. He'd be used to it. "What do you have in mind?"

"Would it be too cliche if I said a fast-food? I mean, it's stupid to take someone-"

"Dan, it's fine. Don't worry about it." I said. He nods awkwardly before we start walking in a random direction. "So, what fast-food are you thinking? One that's not too greasy, I hope." 

"Um, I mean, it's not. . . it's not bad. I don't know if-if it's not gr-greasy or anything. Um, it's Subway." He gulps. I sigh.

"Why are you so awkward?" I laugh, as I see a Subway soon. That would probably be the one we were going to. He gulps, and I can feel him being awkward and humiliated. Ouch. I shouldn't have said that? Oh, whatever. I, as well as he, was only human.

"I was born awkward. I have so many cringe-worthy moments. It's inexplicable, really," he says, chuckling and putting his hands in his jeans. I smirked, nodding. 

"Teasing, of course. So, um, you're a. . . YouTuber?" I try to remember last night. I hope it was right.

He nods. "Yeah, I am. I also work at the BBC. . . radio one," he says, smiling. I scan his face-- it was very pretty. "And you? What do you do?"

"Well, an interviewer, obviously. The BBC, as well," I reply, as we walk into the building. We walk up and order. I order a BLT, one of my favourites for no reason, and Dan orders a healthy salad. Ugh. A salad. God.

We sit down while we wait. I clear my throat. "Is being a YouTuber fun?" I ask. I had no knowledge. Again, I wouldn't go much on the internet.

"Sure, I mean, it has its advantages," he says. "Sometimes, it's not as fun. But you know. The internet and such."

I shake my head. "I hate the internet. They're always so racist and sexist and homophobic and transphobic, I swear, it's the reason I don't go on it. Sorry for the rant."

Our names are called and I stand up. As does Daniel. I smile and assure him I can get them, but he just goes quicker and gets the food. I sigh, sitting back down. I wasn't a big fan of chivalry. I just smile as he comes back. "You didn't have to do that, you know."

He gives me the sandwich, chuckling. "Well, I did. It's the right thing to do," he says. I just look at him funny.

"Use that quality on your girlfriend, not me." I say, starting on my sandwich. Um. Was that a subtle way of asking if he had a girlfriend? No, no, no. It was just me clearing my point. Yeah, I'd take that. No, I'd take both explanations.

"I would if I had one, sure," he says, coolly. I nod. 

 "So," I start, not knowing what to say. "Erm, know any good tongue twisters?" I breathe in and sigh, placing my hand on my forehead. "I don't know what I expected from my brain."

"Is that a pick-up line or just in general?"

Both. Both. "I have no idea," I say. He looks up and opens his mouth.

"Ermmmm. . . OK. I've got one," he says. Oh? "I'm not the pheasant plucker, I'm the pheasant pluker's son, but I'll keep on plucking pheasants 'till my pheasant plucking's done."

That was very quick. "That's great. I can't do that. At all."

"Oh," he laughs. "I think I'm the only one who can, it's crazy. One time, my flatmate tried it. He failed, as well."

I chuckle. "You have a flatmate?"

"Yeah, his name's Phil. I've known him since college," he takes a sip of his drink. I smile. "He's one of my best friends."

"That's adorable," I say. "I've never even had a flatmate. Or, such a good friend."

"But, you're lovely!" He exclaims. I smile and roll my eyes. "There must be someone. A boyfriend."

I shake my head. "Dude, I'd wish. But I'm so busy and picky. And annoying," I say, leaning back. He nods.

"I feel about myself the exact same. You're not any of those, Elle."

I laugh. "Elle? Oh my god. Elle?!" I keep on laughing. I know that's possible for the name Eleanor, but it's so funny hearing someone use it. It was always simple Eleanor.

"Sorry. . .," he gawks and covers his eyes. "Is that weird?"

"No, no, it's just that no one's ever used it. Oh, I love it, Dan." I smile and stop laughing, trying to act serious. 

Silence.

I look down at my empty sandwich bag. "So, what's planned after this small date?" I tease. Dan just looks shocked I said that. "Teasing, Dan. Really, though, what's next?"

"Erm, I don't know. We could go to my place, I guess," he suggests. I try not to laugh. "What?"

"Is that a. . . sex call, Daniel?" I start laughing. As in, very very much. "Oh, I'm sorry. My jokes are stupid, but still."

"OK. . . no, it wasn't actually."

"OK, I'm very sorry. No, I'm not. But yeah, it sounds great." I chuckle. We both stand up and go on our way.

:.

raise ur hand if u were rly sad but still happy for dan when he didnt do a liveshow, and yes this chapter proves the point that dan just likes to talk about phil everywhere #phanisreal