5SOS Imagines :)

Spaghetti Fiasco-AFI

PART 6 :))))

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Ashton Irwin was kissing me. Sober.

I opened my eyes again. Confused, I looked around the room. I tried to take in the scenery, but just couldnt put the pieces together. Once I gave up though, I realised that my head wasnt resting on a pillow, but on a chest. I looked at the person I was apparently cuddling with, and realised it was Ashton.

I tried to remember everything that happened, but could only vaguely remember we kissed. I didnt even remember the feeling of his lips on top of mine, and it was strange, since I could remember paying so much attention to it. I didnt know if I dreamt everything, and if I did, I didnt know how much of it Id dreamt.

Had he never kissed me, and had we fallen asleep on my couch? Had the next morning arrived, and had he come back for his jacket, but did we not go to the park then? Did we go to the park? Did we kiss?

All of those questions were eating me up, and I was fearing the moment Ashton would wake up. I wasnt ready for the disgust in his eyes, when he realised hed been cuddling with basic, boring Y/N. I just wasnt ready for rejection.

Strange to think about that, actually. I had faced rejection all my life. When we had those days in middle school, where we had to present our dream job, my own teachers, people who were supposed to support, and help me pursue that career only pulled me down, saying I wasnt quite good enough for that, and that I should try for something more in my league. Something easier. I had much more situations like that. When wed have drama, and Id be able to muster up the courage to ask to get assigned a different role. A role I would enjoy, everyone would laugh. Saying that the sensitive girl shouldnt be playing a big role. Id have so much comebacks ready, but instead, I just accepted the way everyone treated me, and held my head down. I did all of that to be liked by people. I thought that if I was easy to do anything anyone asked from me, they would maybe like me. Yet, no one ever really did.

I had it easy in my bubble, and with Ashton, I got scared. He was like a needle, too close to my bubble. But I didnt see him as a needle. He looked like this comfortable teddy bear in my mind. I didnt see anything bad in him. I also didnt really think he had anything bad in mind, but he was the first one to try and break my walls down.

The walls I built to keep the wrong people out, but its been so long since anyone tried, that I didnt know how to let him in anymore. I had this twisted perception of people, and it wasnt healthy anymore. It was scaring me.

Hey love, please just breath for me, alright? Were going to be just fine, just breath, an angelic voice called, as everything had gone dark. I didnt even remember passing out. Thats how tangled my thoughts were. I was so busy trying to get trough the mess, I didnt even notice how my breathing had become uneven and fast. I didnt even notice how close I got to losing consciousness.

I couldnt see trough the blur of my tears. I could only feel how Ashton was holding me, gently rocking me back and forth, while wrapping his arms around me as tight as possible, without causing me to be in any sort of discomfort. His voice was only a soft whisper, but my brain was still able to filter it out of all the sobs and whimpers that left my mouth.

I found his hand by touch, and grabbed it. That was something weird I always did when I needed support. I dont know why, but it always calmed me down. Ashton seemed to pick up on that, since he intertwined our fingers, and started drawing small patterns on the back of my hand. While doing that, he never stopped whispering sweet things, and encouraging me to calm down. After a while, I was able to sit up straight, and I just straddled his waist, and laid my head on his shoulder.

You want to share what was going on in that pretty head of yours, love?, he asked, breaking the silence. What did happen. I dont know if I dreamt everything, so can you just explain what happened, so Im not thinking about things that didnt happen?, I requested, while sitting up again, but not moving from Ashtons lap.

Well, so we had that movie night thing, which you told me you would cry at, but you didnt so I think you had a good time? But then I thought I ruined everything by kissing you, so I ran out, forgetting my leather jacket. The next morning, I woke up hungover, by you calling me. After you called me, I went over to your place to talk about the kiss, and to pick up my leather jacket. While we were talking, your mom called, and she said stuff that really upset you, so we went out, to a park. There you started not feeling too well, so we sat down on a bench, where we both were just quiet. Then you kissed me, and pulled back, like you were ashamed? I told you I liked it, and kissed you again. After that, we went to my place, and got drunk again, and you fell asleep, so I just cuddled up to you, and fell asleep as well, he explained.

Speaking of kissing, I kind of really want to kiss you right now?, he questioned more, than just saying his statement. This made me smile, and I leaned in, not caring about morning breath. All I wanted were his lips on top of mine.

When we pulled back, I leaned into his chest, and enjoyed his presence, as he wrapped his arms around me. So what did you remember?, he then asked. Basically everything, up until the second kiss in the park, I smiled.

You know, my mother always told me I shouldnt kiss girls on the first date, yet here we are, 4 kisses, and not even been on one, he laughed. I just looked up at him, with a tiny spark of hope in my heart. He seemed to notice me looking up at him, because he looked down and smirked.

So would you like to go on a date with me love?

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Word count: 1124