Nathan Marsh's State of Being

Chapter Two

apprehensive

The next time I saw Noel was 24 hours after the incident. He wasn't in the room when I got back from the library with Harley and when I woke up for my 9 a.m. class, he wasn't in his bed, although it looked slept in from what I could tell. Then again, it kind of looked the same as it did after he had sex in it.

After Harley and I finished our daily afternoon run, I successfully took a shower on my own floor and when I got back to the room, shirtless but otherwise dressed, Noel was sitting on his bed, reading a book he casually tucked under his pillow when he saw me.

Doing what I'd told myself I'd do a million times all day, I simply gave him a smile and a nod in acknowledgment. It had been the brunt of our communication so far, so I figured it was the safest bet.

This time, Noel did something different.

He moved to the edge of his bed, feet flat on the floor and hands propping him up behind his back. I took in his brown-eyed stare and the shaggy cocoa-brown curls on top of his head before turning away to hang my towel over my wardrobe door.

I could feel his eyes on me and for the first time in...ever, I wished I'd put a shirt on.

"Hey, so I'm sorry about yesterday, man," Noel said, and I deliberately did not look at him until I pulled my shirt on. When I did, he was standing, hands in his pockets, shoulders shrugging coolly as he spoke. "That was pretty lame of me, I should have sent you a text or something. To be honest, I thought you'd be out with your friend longer."

I shook my head and sat on my bed, pulling on my socks. I smiled over at him and he smiled back, white teeth shining. "No worries. I don't mind if you do that here, but if you wanna send me a heads up that's cool."

Noel nodded slowly. "That's chill. Nina sends her apologies as well. She said to tell you she thinks you're hot, too, and she'd totally bang you."

I almost choked, but laughed instead. "Okay, uhm, interesting. Tell her thanks?"

Noel grinned, running a hand through his curls. His light olive skin looked smooth. "If I ever see her again, sure. Shit," he said, sounding like something just clicked in his mind. "I probably shouldn't have said that last part. I shouldn't assume you're into women. Or men. Or anything, really."

I smiled at Noel's genuine concern that he might have made a mistake about my sexuality. I found it refreshing that he was aware of these things and wondered if he wasn't simply straight himself. I pushed back the thought, knowing that regardless of the answer, I couldn't think of him as more than a roommate or friend.

As much as I wanted to give Harley shit about what he said on our move-in day about not getting involved with your roommate, I knew damn well he was right.

Nobody needed chaotic energy like that.

I grinned, casting a quick glance up at Noel before focusing on pulling my shoes on. I took a deep breath and said, "It's okay. And I'm into both, you know, just for the record."

The words falling from my lips never seemed to get easier to say, so I was glad when hardly a second ticked by before Noel nodded, taking his hands out of his pockets to grab his wallet and keys.

"Chill," he said, approval clear. He gave me a once over. "You heading out? I was gonna go get something to eat. Wanna come?"

"Me?" I asked stupidly, instant regret setting in. If he didn't think I was a loser before, I just gave him a solid reason to.

Noel cracked a grin, amusement evident in his eyes. "No, I was asking my abuelita. Yes, Nat. You're the only one here."

Trying not to feel stupid, I forced a smile. "I know, I was kidding," I lied. He didn't look convinced but thankfully he didn't say anything about it. "Sure, let's go. Oh, and uhm just so you know, my name isn't Nat. It's actually Nate, I just accidentally said it wrong before."

"Really?" He asked, raising a perfectly full dark brow as he opened the door for me. He shrugged when I nodded. "Well, mind if I keep calling you Nat, anyway? Sounds cool."

My stomach did a tiny, uninvited flip. Quickly, I said, "'Course not."

I could already hear Harley's judgemental reaction to that as I followed Noel down the hall and across campus.

We mostly walked in silence, but it was a comfortable one. As we went, I took in how confidently Noel walked. He seemed so fluid, so absolutely lackadaisy about everything he did, said, or saw.

I wondered how on earth someone got to that state of being.

Inside the dining hall, it was loud. The place was packed with people and the admittance line where they scanned our ID's was longer than I'd seen it before.

Eventually we passed through and I was surprised that the first person I saw was Harley walking by. He didn't see me, as he had his head turned towards the sign stating what was being served at the station in front of him.

I felt a nudge at my side and looked at Noel, his face neutral and blank like I was growing used to. "Isn't that your friend?"

He nodded in the direction I had just been looking.

"Yeah, that's Harley."

Pulling his phone out, I saw him skim a message on his home screen. Looking up, he said, "My friends are in that corner way in the back." I followed where he pointed and recognized two figures at a large round table. "Grab Harry and meet us back there, yeah?"

I barely snorted at what he said before he was already walking off, clearly knowing what he wanted to eat.

Moving towards Harley, I snuck my arms over his shoulder and felt him flinch, shoving me off. I laughed at his sour face when he realized it was me. "Dick. Where'd you come from? I thought you weren't hungry."

"Uh, Noel invited me." Harley raised a surprised brow. "He apologized for yesterday. Not that he had to anyway, but you know...awkwardness magically gone."

"And now you're friends? I didn't think you guys really talked."

I glanced over at the table in the corner we were supposed to meet my roommate at. He wasn't there yet, which made sense since he was probably stuck at the back of a long line somewhere.

I shrugged, not knowing how to answer him properly. "He said we should go sit with him and his friends...if you want to?"

Harley nodded. "Yeah, whatever. I'm just starving. Let's pick a line, I don't care which one."

Nearly fifteen minutes later, we finally had quesadillas and fries on our plates as I led Harley back to the table that was expecting us. Noel was laughing at something the guy to his right said. If I remembered correctly, I thought his name was Dylan. He had soft features and medium brown skin. His face was a lot more inviting than Noel's default expression.

When I stepped up, Noel noticed me and surprised me with a smile. He kicked out the chair at his side for me. "Hey, Nat." I felt Harley's eyes burning on the side of my neck as we both sat. Noel nodded at my friend in greeting. "Harry, right?"

Harley snorted. "Uh, no. Har-ley."

I looked across the table and met the amused gazes of Noel's friends. Dylan, I thought, punched his arm with a bark of laughter. "You are so bad at names, dude."

Noel shrugged, genuinely not caring, before taking a bite of his burger. Harley rolled his eyes at me and I hid my face in a mouthful of fries.