Me and Us

chapter four - big bad wolf

I remember in the first grade, Flynn Carraway accidentally stepped on a butterfly and cried for the entire rest of the day. The teacher had to call his parents and send him home, he was so distraught that he ended the life of an innocent creature. 

Now he's sitting next to me for my worst moment. His stupid blonde hair and blue eyes that you can't help but swim in. 

"Rough night?" He asks and I almost want to laugh. Rough night. Yeah, it was. 

"I'm drunk." I say, and he laughs, a sound that fills me with butterflies. 

"I noticed." He says. I know he's looking at me, but I can't bring myself to look back. "Can I ask what happened?" He asks, finally looking away. 

He has no right to be so polite. No right to look at me with those beautiful blue eyes. 

"I shouldn't talk to you." I say, and scoot away from him. 

"Why?" He laughs again, and turns to face me. "You're afraid of the big bad wolf?" I shudder. 

I remember when Flynn Carraway cried about the butterfly, so full of empathy and life. It surprised all of us when George Randolph died last year, after overdosing on drugs that Flynn had apparently been dealing since 8th grade. He was supposed to go to Juvie for 6 months, until he turned eighteen. I didn't think 6 months went by so fast. 

"I should probably go back inside." I stand up sloppily and try to get out of the stupid web he seems to have stuck me in. 

"Did I offend you?" He asks so genuinely, I almost want to cry. 

"No..." I start, and wobble over to the rest of the garden. He stands and follows me, looking concerned at my walking technique. "My friends are just probably missing me." 

I turn to look at him again. 

"Who did you come with?" I ask him, suddenly standing completely still. "I haven't seen you since-"

"Zane invited me." He cuts me off harshly. I almost gasp when his blue eyes turn away from mine, I've been so used to looking into them. 

"Are you friends with Zane?" I ask him. I don't know why I'm still here, why I want to know more about him. 

"Yeah." He responds, a slight smile finding his face. "We've lived right next to each other since forever." 

"So that's where he gets the coke." I mumble to myself.

"What?" He asks, extraordinarily calmly. 

"Nothing." I respond quickly, not wanting to upset him. "I should go find my friends." I turn away, but I barely make it a step before he grabs my hand. 

"What were you doing out here?" He asks. "I just mean... I thought you were pretty popular. I mean... popular people don't usually just leave parties." His cheeks turn red and I almost giggle at his awkward delivery. 

"I sort of humiliated my ex boyfriend in front of everyone." I don't know why I'm telling him. I don't know why he was out here in the first place. 

"Isn't that good?" He asks. 

"I think I made a fool out of myself."

"It can't be that bad." There's a smile behind his blue eyes, the same one that was there in the first grade. 

"I threw punch in his face and told everyone how small his dick is." 

He breaks out into laughter. I can't help but join him, replaying Adam's shocked face over and over in my head.