Me and Us

chapter five - first day

The last few days of Summer fly by.

Between summer reading assignments, college applications, and Kat/Nadia visits, I barely have any time to think about Adam.

Now, it's September 1st, the first day of Senior year. I thought I'd be crazy excited, but there's a pit in my stomach. I can't avoid Adam anymore, we signed up for almost all of the same classes during orientation in July. Why the fuck did we do that?

"Morning sunshine." My dad is reading the paper downstairs when I go to toast myself a bagel. 

"Morning dad." I kiss him on the cheek and resume my waiting.

It's a treat to see Dad, at this point. He's always working at the hospital, I rarely get to talk with him anymore. 

"Did you apply to UW yet?" He asks, and I freeze. 

Of course he wants me to go to the University of Washington, it's his alma matar and I'd get in state tuition. Money is tight since we lost Mom, and I don't want to tell him that I'm eyeing all of these expensive East Coast schools. I'll have to get a scholarship. 

"Not yet." I respond, looking down at the ground. "I'll do that this week."

"Where have you been applying?" He asks, "You've been so busy with those essays."

"Oh you know..." I say "Some UC's, a couple other schools."

"What other schools?" He asks, putting his paper down. "Those applications aren't cheap."

"You know..." I say, still studying the tiles on the kitchen floor. "I've also been applying for jobs." 

This perks him up. "That's great." He says, joining me. "Where?" 

"We can talk about it tonight!" I say, grabbing my bagel. It's burnt, of course. "Gotta get to school!" 

"Are you taking Ella's car?" He asks me, handing me my backpack and a rain jacket. "You have to be back by 4:00 if you are, she has work at Norby's tonight."

"Yeah, for sure." I say. Wherever I go to college, I refuse to end up like Ella, splitting her time between working at the town bar and a grocery store chain. 

"Have a nice first day of school, Lilypad!" Dad says, smiling at me. "I love you."

"Love you too, Dad!" I say, and dash into the fresh Washington rain, trying to get into my car as quickly as possible. 

***

"I swear to God, if Zara gets head cheerleader I'm going to scream." 

Nadia rants to me in homeroom, a few minutes before the bell rings. Our homeroom is pretty good this year, I see Zane and the artsy band girl Jillian. I guess any hope for a friendship with her is lost, now that she's "taking on Senior year" with Adam. 

"She won't." I assure Nadia, not really caring about the current topic. "She's not half as good as you are, and she's only a Junior."

"But she's Coaches new stepdaughter." Nadia says, still looking awfully worried. 

"Coach values seniority more than nepotism." I say. I should know, I was on cheer with Nadia in Freshman and Sophomore year before I realized it was not my thing. Plus, Adam thought it was a meaningless pastime. Fucking Adam. 

The bell rings, and I see a familiar blonde head dash into the room just as the door get's closed. 

"Right on time, Mr. Carraway," Ms. Hawthorne remarks, and I see a few eyes perk up. The rest of us aren't surprised, we saw him at Zane's. 

He glances at me. I almost forgot how intense his eyes are. Almost. 

He heads over to sit by Zane, who gives him a fist bump. I never noticed how close Zane and Flynn were before now. 

"I can't believe Carraway came back to school." Nadia whispers to me, her dark eyes shining. "Why doesn't he just drop out and save himself the trouble? He definitely has an income." 

I decide to ignore her, and focus on Ms. Hawthorne, taking us through boring first day of school nonsense. 

"I know it's your Senior year, but that does not mean you can slack off. Colleges look at your grades from both semesters..." 

I tune her out, and focus on the back of a beautiful blonde haired boy. 

***

"Hello everyone! Welcome to AP Calculus BC." 

I want to die. 

Not only has Adam been in all three of my classes so far, I scheduled myself to the brink. I have to look at his annoying face in AP Chemistry, Music Theory, and now Calculus. I'm just praying to God that my last three classes are Adam free. 

"Hey Lily!" Zane whispers to me. God only knows why he's in AP Calc. Does he hate himself too?

"What?" I say, desperately trying to take notes. Someone should tell Mr. Hanson that it's illegal to give students actual work on the first day of school. 

"How are you doing after my party?" 

I slam my pencil down. Is this really necessary?

"Just peachy, Zane." I say

"I heard that you were talking to Flynn." He whispers, and I groan internally. Is he really this bad at taking a hint?

"Yeah a little bit." I say, glad we're sitting in the back and Mr. Hanson hasn't noticed the conversation yet. 

"I'm so glad he's back." Zane smiles at me. 

Great. Does this have a point?

"Do you want anything?" I ask, trying to get to the point. Zane is fine, but I'm never going to be able to survive in this class without taking good notes. Math is already not my strongest subject. 

"Yeah, I was wondering if you wanted to come over tomorrow night." God knows why school starts on a Thursday, but tomorrow is already the end of the week. And I don't have any plans. 

"Are you having another party?" I ask, dreading the answer. Maybe he just wants me to make a fool out of myself again. 

"Nah, it's just a kickback." He grins at me. "Only a few of my good friends, and I want you to come." 

Since when did I become one of Zane's good friends? 

"Is Kat invited?" I ask, and his face darkens. 

"No." He says "I mean, you can bring her if you want... I don't know if she'd really vibe with the crowd." 

"And I would?" I laugh a little, but secretly I'm happy with his answer. It's nice to be something other than Kat's best friend for once. 

"Totally." The darkness is gone, and his face is full of the characteristic Zane light once again. 

"Okay, I'll come." I don't know what I'm doing. I probably won't know anyone there, I barely know Zane. 

"Epic." He says "I'll text you with the time later."

"Ms. Vanderbilt, Mr. Stevens, is there something you'd like to share with the class." Mr. Hanson booms. 

Busted. 

The whole class, including Adam, turn to look at us. 

"Zane just needed to borrow a pencil." I say, feeling my cheeks turn red.