To All The Girls I've Loved Before - Jenlisa

Chapter 9

Summer 2015

"Shoooots!" Eun Mi screamed at her ear, and while she may be slightly drunk, Lalisa still winced at the unwelcome screech.

For years she looked forward to this: finally starting the transition to the senior year of high school and being cool enough to join the packed house parties. She saw a lot of the seniors who have still hung around; a few other older kids who have moved on to Universities but are visiting for the summer.

Now that she's here she felt like she's wearing a different skin.

Everything felt like a façade. Of something others chose to see.

This wasn't really her. This wasn't really what she wants, this wasn't really where she wants to be.

She heard an English song play on the speakers – Justin Bieber, she remembered, something that's on loop on Jennie's playlist recently. She took a shot of the tequila from her classmate Eun Mi and whooped, smiling to herself when her feet started moving to the chorus.

Don't want for us to end, where do I start? / First you wanna go to the left and you want to turn right

She tried to dance while she balances her remaining beer in her cup, recognizing that while the kids danced to the beat, they don't have the intimacy Lalisa has with this song– the beats reminding her of the days she and Jennie would spend holed up in their private spaces, Justin Bieber and other english songs on repeat, lyrics sung at the top of their lungs.

With Jennie off to New York soon for university, Lalisa was left again with the distinct Jennie Kim Legacy that she's been unwittingly given since 2009: the way she makes you taste her world and leaves you reliving and longing.

She closed her eyes, a deep sigh hurting her chest.

Jennie promised this time that she would stay in touch. Flying to the US has always been in Jennie's plans, but actually going through it was another thing for the Thai.

Now Lisa's going to go through the last year of high school alone and perhaps pushing through to a local university after, or back to Thailand, she's still not sure. Or just anywhere else maybe that wouldn't remind her of Jennie so much.

Yeah, the last one could work, too.

She just wishes she wouldn't miss her friend that much.

Said you're running out of time

What do you mean? / Better make up your mind

Her cup was snatched. She prepared herself to apologise thinking she must have hit someone with her hand when her eyes widened at the sight of Jennie finishing her remaining beer.

"What are you doing here? You're flying off tomorrow!" Lisa shouted through the loud noise. Jennie shrugged cockily.

"Maybe that's why I need one last party," Jennie ogled her appraisingly. "Look at you barely starting senior year and already being a badass drunk. I taught you well."

Lalisa snorted, flippant. She eyed her friend guardedly. Jennie pointed to a quieter area closer to the kegs and the two shuffled over.

"I figured you were here because your mom said you went out with Eun Mi," Jennie's scrutinising look at a loud Eun Mi over at another crowd of kids did not escape Lalisa's eyes.