Lockdown: The Arcadia Diaries

Panic Attack

Present day...

Phoenix, Arizona

May 25, 2020

Faith Jones 

"You said you heard screams coming from the hospital rooms and the waiting room?" Clorinda asks me. I'm silent for a few moments, trying to remember exactly what went down. I close my eyes, then take a deep breath.

"I don't know, they seemed to come from all sorts of different directions," I reply. "Some of them were coming from the waiting room and some were coming from the hospital rooms. It terrified me, and it still terrifies me now when I think back to that day."

"Clorinda, maybe I should be the one to tell the story," Terra interjects. "I mean, I was there too..."

"No, no, it's okay," I reply. "It's okay, Terra. I can talk about it."

"You sure? I mean, if it triggers some unwanted flashbacks," Terra says worriedly.

I take a deep breath, then take a sip from the glass of water on my desk. "It's okay, Terra. I can talk about it. It'll be fine."

"If you're sure..." Clorinda says. "Okay, continue."

"Anyway, yeah, I heard them coming from seemingly every direction in the hospital," Faith says softly. "At first they sounded ghost-like-almost like...like cries for help."

"Did they sound like cries for help?" Clorinda asks me.

At this point, I start trembling. "At one point police officers came into the hospital, apparently having been called to help with some of the patients after they began to get desperate, and some of them even violent. Like, some kind of riot control."

"The patients started rioting?" Alana Powell asks me.

"It looked like it," I reply shakily. "I mean, I don't know, if..."

"Oh, God, she's trembling," Clorinda notes.

"Is she having a flashback?" Terra asks. "Faith? Faith, honey, it's okay if you want to stop. I can take over for you if you like..."

The more I speak, the more violent the trembling gets. Eventually, I just lose it. "I-I remember hearing them screaming, and-Oh, God! No! No, please!"

"Faith? Faith! Oh, God, she's having a panic attack!" Kyle's eyes widen in alarm. "Can somebody-can calm her down?"

"Yeah, I got her! Hang tight," I hear Gemma's voice on the computer screen responding before rapid footfalls are heard coming my direction.

"No! No! Don't! Please don't! I can't go back!" I'm hysterical at this point, trembling uncontrollably while wailing like a baby. "Don't make me go back! Please!"

"Faith? Faith, look at me! Look at me!" Clorinda says desperately. "Look at me. Everything's okay. Just take a deep breath."

Seconds later, I feel hands around me. Then Gemma's voice as she tries to calm me down. "Faith! Faith, sssh! Sshh...It's okay. It's okay, Faith. You're safe now."

"I can't-!" I squeal. "I can't do it! It's too much!" 

"It's okay, Faith, you don't have to," Terra says softly. "I mean, I was there. Maybe I could tell the story?"

I spend the next couple minutes sobbing in Gemma's arms. "It's too much....it's too much...!" I keep repeating over and over between choked sobs. "I can't-can't do it...please don't make me go back in there-!"

"No one's making you go back in there. You're not going back, okay?" Gemma whispers soothingly. 

"Maybe we should try again later?" Clorinda suggests to Gemma. "Maybe it's still too raw for her. I mean, even though it's been a year."

"No, maybe I should do it," Kyle says. 

"No, don't!" I scream. "Please don't! I can't bear it! I can't-!"

Gemma looks at Kyle with concern. "Look, maybe I should take Faith out to get some air, help her clear her head. We'll come back later, okay?"

"Okay, you do that," Terra says, nodding her approval. "We'll see 'ya in a bit."

As Gemma leads me outside, she looks at me with concern. But she doesn't say anything.

The look on my face tells me everything she needs to know.