Her Broken Vow ✔

HBV 3: Glimpse of the Past

Aaron

"Is everybody present for this report meeting?" Pambungad ko na tanong sa hall, kahit na ayaw ko sanang tumuloy dito ay kailangan pa rin.

Alam ko na mahihirapan akong mag pokus dahil sa nangyari kanina. She's finally here, it's hard to sink everything in. Hindi ako makapagtrabaho ng maayos.

"Yes, sir." Sagot naman ito ni Alex matapos ang headcount at pag tingin sa attendance na pinirmahan ng lahat.

"Alright, let's begin with Klark Restaurant." Tumango ako sa manager na unang magsasalita.

Nag simula nang mag present ang bagong manager sa Klark dahil hindi muna ito maaasikaso ni Kristin. Kabisadong kabisado nito ang sales report. Patuloy na nakikinig si Alex dito sa aking tabi habang ako ay nakatitig lamang sa harapan.

After that encounter with Joanna, hindi ko maiwasang isipin ang aming nakaraan at kung paano kami nag kakilala. I am engulfed with my own thoughts right now.

How would my daughter react to the sudden news? Ayokong makitang lumuha ang anak ko ng dahil nanaman sa kanyang tunay na ina at alam kong masaya na siya sa tumatayong ina niya sa ngayon na si Kristin.

Naalala ko pa ang mga hakbang na ginawa ko para lang bumalik siya sa akin- sa amin. I tried to get her location through the GPS but everytime I reached my destination...the location changes. It's like she's playing hide and seek with me.

I was caught by the police officers multiple times because of over speeding, but what can I do? Joanna 'was' more important than anything else.

I tried to call her every single day, then the heavens may have heard my prayer. She answered my call, naki-usap ako sakaniya. I let my guard down kasi asawa ko 'yung usapan pero anong ginawa niya? She didn't utter even a single word, after a minute or so she hanged up.

After that call, cannot be reached na ang kaniyang number. Even her location can't be located anymore but I still didn't give up. Not yet.

One week straight of staying inside my car on the road side. Sinubukan ko siyang hanapin sa mga lugar na madalas niyang puntahan. I left our child with my cousin that time because how can I function as a father? I didn't know anything.

All my efforts that time were all in vain. Walang araw na hindi ako naging malakas ng panahon na 'yon. Every night I cried myself to sleep with alcoholic beverages as my comfort.

When I got to personally talk to with my cousin, he helped me make up my thoughts and actions. He made me realize things that I should've realized earlier. I slowly lived without Joanna that instead on finding her, I focused all my attention to our child that she left.

Eventually, I learned a lot of things about parenthood. Hindi man ako sanay sa mga gawain but I promised myself that I'll do my best to be a mother and father to Sofia.

I found it hard at first since I didn't know anything about a taking care of a 3 months old baby but I arrange some plans to be better day by day. I attended seminars about parenthood, did researches about changing diapers, making a baby fall asleep, etc. and made an appointment with a pediatrician just to know more about child's health.

After months of living without Joanna, I decided to go to Baguio City together with Sofia to move forward and freshen up a bit. I need to loosen up my mind and I wanted to start a new life with my child. 'Yung wala ng Joanna sa buhay namin.

Gusto kong ibuhos lahat ng pagmamahal ko kay Sofia na tipong hindi na niya hahanapin ang kalinga ng isang ina and I can say right now that maybe I succeeded.

After all those sacrifices that made us stronger, I didn't understand why Joanna never came back in that span of seven years. I became patient with her and still waited for I don't know how long before.

Baka kasi pag gising ko, masisilayan ko ulit ang mga ngiti niya, makita ko muli siyang inaabangan ang pag bangon ko o baka magparamdam siya sa amin kahit sa tawag lang. Baka p'wede pang maayos ang pamilya namin.

Mahal ko pa noon eh, umaasa pa ako. Kasi siya 'yung pinakasalan ko, we made a vow together that's why I waited pero napapagod at napupuno rin lahat ng tao.

I finally reached my limit in that seven years. Reminiscing about the past is never a good idea. It brings a roller coaster emotion inside the heart. No matter how hard I try to suppress it, I just can't. Past is a part of my present but I won't let it destroy my being again.

Nawala ako sa pag-iisip ng mga bagay bagay nang bigla akong nakatanggap ng message mula sa isang empleyado ng front desk.

Receptionist: Good afternoon sir, nandito pa rin po si Ms. Joanna Fernandez Villamor hihintayin niya raw po kayo hanggang mamaya. Papaalisin po ba namin siya o hahayaan?

She's still here, why don't she just leave katulad ng ginagawa niyang pang-iiwan noon? Kasi kung umalis man siya ngayon, ayos lang. Wala nang masasaktan.

Joanna Villamor, ang pangalan na dati ay gustong gusto kong marining na binibigkas ng iba ngunit ngayon ay gustong gusto ko nang ibaon sa limot.

We're healed from the pain that she left with us. I just can't accept the fact that it took her long years before showing herself. Tapos na kami sa pag-aantay sakaniya.

Ipinunta ko ang phone ko sa CCTV footage ng lobby dahil gusto kong makita ang kaniyang ginagawa. Ipina-connect ko kanina ang phone ko sa lahat ng footage para mas madali kong makita ang mga tao na pumapasok sa loob ng building.

Ilang ikot pa ang ginawa ko sa aking phone bago ko siya napansin na nakatayo sa bandang dulo ng lobby habang naka-tulala, hilam ang mga luha at mukhang nag babalik tanaw sa mga kaganapan noon.

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