Getting Over You

Rejection

I confessed.

I am running in a circle for a long time that it's exhausting already. One day I am determined to move on from you and forget my feelings but the next day I am clinging to 1% hope that maybe we could happen. It's frustrating.

That's why I thought of confirming the rejection from you. I mean I assumed the rejection from the beginning but I thought receiving the rejection from you is what I needed to completely moved on.

I asked my friend and my sister about it but it was my sister who really pushes me to do it, so I did.

Before I texted you, I called.

You have two numbers. I tried calling your TM number three times but it was ended before it was answered. Maybe, your line was busy because your calling or talking to someone. So, I tried calling your smart number and it rang for the second time and you answered. I didn't talk though. I ended it.

I texted you asking if you were aware of my feelings and then you said no.

The conversation was lighter than I expected. I was nervous but I ended up laughing. That's your power. You can make me laugh in any circumstances.

You said sorry and I took that as your way of saying you can't reciprocate my feelings. But you know what? I thought I will be motivated to move on after the rejection (yes, I consider your sorry as rejection) but I kind of more hopeful. This is crazy.

But I will try my hardest to let go. I mean, I already surrendered this to God. I already did my part so I leave it to God how He will move. I will never have what-ifs because I already said it to you. This time, I am not assuming rejection. And hopefully, this time I can do better than saying empty words like I already moved on.

This time, I will move forward at my own pace. I will not hurry. I will enjoy the process of letting go and becoming the better version of myself.

Until we meet again, peg.