Meant To Be

More angst over here...

"Where's the map prongs?" It was the next day.

Remus had decided that if Sirius didn't come back during the night, they'd check the marauders map. But for some reason they just couldn't find it.

"Wait! I have idea!" The other two looked at him, but there was no time to lose. Remus looked around in his trunk for a minute, and then found a small little square mirror. "Sirius!" He said into it.

For a few moments, the three boys were just staring back at themselves, but suddenly, it all went black. "He must have put in his pocket," James wispered. They heard a voice. It was easily recognized.

"So Regulus is with him at least," Peter said after a few moments while Remus was putting away the mirror, knowing that Sirius wasn't alone.

-

Sirius stood there. Frozen. He didn't know how to move a single muscle. The only thing happening, was the tears running down his face. All of a sudden, it was like his body moved by itself. He was running. He ran out the door, down the stairs, through the entrance and ran all the way to the Astronomy tower. He jumped up on the ledge to his right and sat down on the roof.

⚠️There's gonna be some suicidal thoughts going one now⚠️

Walburga's right. This is what everyone thinks of me. I'm a failure and a disappointment to every single person that knows me. Everyone's life would have been so much better without me. Maby there's a reason I'm on a roof. "Everything that goes up has to come down eventually" hmph, well no one said exactly how they come down now do they?

The roof was, as always, slippery. Normally, he would sit up straight to stop himself from falling, but he didn't do it this time. Maby this is for the best, I just didn't see it before now, he thought.

It was to late to just 'sit up straight' now. His life flashed before his eyes.

He was running around the garden with Regulus. They were laughing, happy. It was before Hogwarts. Before he had become a Gryffindor. Before his parents had started hating him. It's not like his parents were good parents, but they were better than now.

He was on the train to hogwarts, first year. He was sitting alone in a compartment, when an eleven year old James potter came in asking if he and his friend, Peter, could sit there.

It was breakfast time, third day of first year. His first howler had come from his parents. 'Sirius Orion black! A griffindoor? Generation after generation since the beginning has the Black family been in Slytherin, and you're a Griffindoor? A house full of blood traitors, filthy halfbloods, mudbloods and who knows what else! What's next then? You're gonna befriend a filthy halfbreed? Honestly! You are a disgrace to the family and I wish you had never ever been born!' Sirius was tearing up now, running out of the great hall that had fallen silent. He didn't know what was worse. The letter it self, or the fact that everyone had heard what his mother had said to him. If he had gotten a letter like that now, he wouldn't have even looked at it twice, being used to five years of his hole family's hate towards him. But this was the first time any of them had actually showed real hatred towards him, and he didn't know what to do with himself.

He was in the dorm room when the other boys ran inside. They had been looking all over the castle, not caring about their classes at all at this point, for their friend was hurt, and that was all that mattered at the time. This was when Sirius knew, they really were his friends.

He was in the kitchen at Grimmuald place. The summer before his fourth year. His mother screaming at him as usual. He screamed back at her, but regretted it a second later. He felt the print of a hand on his right cheek. It was the first time Walburga had hit him. He looked at his mother, who looked very satisfied, but determined. Sirius ran off to his room, and didn't go out of it for seven days straight. He had a bathroom in his room, and had kreacher make him food.