yours [m.s]

ii.

- - -
at any given moment, the brain has 14 billion neurons firing at a speed of 450 miles per hour. we don't have control over most of them.
- - -

standing on the balcony outside her bedroom, which is thankfully undercover, mallory is looking out onto the beachfront, watching the rain pour. she snuggles into her dressing gown, wrapping it around her tightly.

"it's raining," she hears a voice groaning.

when mallory turns her head to follow the voice, she sees addison, dripping wet and dashing around gathering things she'd left outside overnight and wearing what mallory could only assume was a nightdress.

once addison has run back to collect one final item- a drenched beach towel- she hurries back to the door which she discovers is now locked.

"it's raining!" addison yells, banging on the glass doors.

mallory can't help but smile, bringing her coffee up to her lips as she watches her sister struggle. yes, she could go and help the redhead, but standing back and watching almost seemed like divine justice.

- - -
when we get a chill: goose bumps. when we get excited: adrenaline. the body naturally follows its impulses, which i think is part of what makes it so hard for us to control ours.
- - -

now sat in her office, her head resting on the desk in front of her, mallory's finger gently traces over the buttons of her office phone before she presses one.

"you have one saved message," the monotone voice of her answering machine sounds out, followed by the infamous beep.

"hi, babe. it's me. i'm going to be late. why don't you pick up some chinese and we'll eat in bed, okay? love you," ryan's voice plays through the speakers of her phone, and when the message ends, her finger clicks the same button, the rest of her body still not moving. "hi, babe. it's me. i'm going to be late. why don't you pick up some chinese and we'll eat in bed, okay? love you."

as the voicemail is halfway through playing for the second time around, cooper gently pushes her office door open, but she doesn't notice. when he hears the message he sighs to himself.

"you listening to ryan's message again?" cooper raises his brow, causing mallory's head to snap up from the desk, turning to look at him.

"i have other messages," mallory shrugs, averting her gaze to her computer. "from patients."

"do those patients ask you to pick up chinese and tell you they love you?" cooper challenges.

"you know what, i'm sorry i told you about it. i thought you'd understand," mallory picks her almost empty iced coffee up and places the straw between her lips.

"guys don't keep messages from an ex," cooper tells her. "that's a woman thing."

"and what do you know about women that you didn't get off the internet?" mallory counters with a forced smile, and cooper clicks his tongue.

"just erase the message. be a man," cooper encourages as he leaves her office and she exhales deeply.

- - -
of course, sometimes we have impulses we would rather not control, that we later wish we had.
- - -