WHO IN THE FU- oh wait, its you. What, you want me to continue the story from last time? Fine.
______________________________________
You stood in front of your best friends house, not at all prepared for what was about to happen. You walked up to the door, only for it to slam into your chest, and more importantly, your toe... Really fucking hard.
"Ow fucking hell shit fuck dicks ah shit, this is fucking ow." You said.
"Who are you puny mortal?!" Asked the one you assumed was Judgment started yelling, only for your shotgun to be put in her face.
"You wanna fucking apologize to the only 'puny mortal' who has (F/N)'s fucking pancake recipe? If not I'm not afraid to pop all five fucking caps through your skull." You said, furrowing your brows.
"O-oh, your that guy, (Y/N), r-right?" She asked with fear of the shotgun in your hands.
"No im just some random ass dude who walked up to your house with a fucking suitcase and a shotgun and a letter from dumbcunt mcgee who got himself trapped in the abyss."
"Ok, ok I get it." She said.
"Who is it?" You heard from deep in the house.
"Its that (Y/N) guy that the helltaker said was coming!" She answered.
"Who's that?" You asked pulling the shotgun away from her face. This action caused her to sigh in relief.
"Thats Lucifer." She answered.
You walked into the house, and stopped as you saw three identical triplets running from a chick with sunglasses.
"What in the fuck?" You questioned yourself.
"H-hello, I'm Azazel." Said a literal angel, stuttering, as she had witnessed what had happened outside the door.
"Oh shit he didnt lie about you!" You exclaimed.
"W-what?" She asked.
"He said, and I quote, 'shes fucking adorable'. And he didnt lie." You answered, putting the shotgun in its holster on your back. She exploded into a blush and covered her face.
"Hello there, we're Cerberus!" Said the triplets, together.
"Yeah, no shit, he said to keep an especially careful eye on you." You said.
"O-oh..." They said sadly.
"But I aint going to lie, you're cute too." You said, patting their heads, making them smile.
"Can I see Cerberus real quick? We need to 'talk'." Said the chick with sunglasses.
"No can do cutie." You said, pushing her back.
"Hey! Im not cute!" She said getting flustered.
"And in definitely not the tallest person in this house." You said.
"Are You?" She asked.
"7 foot two. If You cant tell, you must be Justice." You replied.
"Thats my name." She said.
"I might actually like it here. Hope they dont find out about my curse yet" you thought to yourself.
"Curse?" Asked a new voice.
"Shit, did i say that aloud?" You asked.
"Yeah you did, and now we're curious." Said yet another new voice.
"Damn it wanted to keep that a secret, but meh, secrets usually just cause trouble so fine, let me introduce myself. I am (Y/N) (L/N), and Im fucking immortal." You said.
"Oh... Fuck I thought I banned those curses 10000 years ago." Said the one you assumed to be Lucifer.
"Well I got a party trick out of it, watch this." You said. You grabbed your shotgun and aimed it at yourself.
"This is when the magic happens" you said, pulling the trigger. Only for nothing to happen.
"You thought! Why would I shoot my self, thats just dumb. Anyways, where is my room?" I asked.
"Oh, its straight down the Hall to the right." Lucifer said.
"Cool, cool, now I'm gonna go get settled in. Im going to kindly ask you to fuck off." I said, while walking to my room.
