Living with ADHD

Why???

To be honest I don't really know why I have adhd. My theory is that it is genetic. My dad and uncle have it and my grandma does to. It is a very new disorder so I am very lucky to have been diagnosed and prescribed medicine this quick. My dad was born around the time ADD/ADHD pills were first made, so every parent, whether thy had diagnosed children or not, tried to get their hands on pills to control their kids. My dad really did have it but the doctor didn't prescribe it. "Your just trying to medicate your son for your own benefit," he told my grandma. So for most of my dads life growing up he went without help. He was bullied and picked on and struggled in school despite being a very bright student. He went to college but I have this itching feeling if he had medicine, therefore better grades and opportunities, would he have been able to be an architect like he always wanted. When he was finally given medicine, it was too late. That was when my uncle Kerry was diagnosed and try realized my grandma wasn't lying.

I still hate my medicine. I hate that God made me this way. "Why me?" I would pray, "why curse me with this blasted disorder, with this stupid thing that makes me so different?"
I have yet to get an answer.

Now many may wonder, "why did you stop taking it? You were 'so blessed' to have the medication your father didn't,". Yeah, totally blessed for life with this crap. I stopped because since I was diagnosed so young, maybe the doctors had made a mistake. Maybe I am being medicated for no reason. Maybe I'm normal.
Didn't work.