LOVE ME BACK TO LIFE. //Swanqueen. Regina And Emma

Giving up.

Emma-

Im in bed and i dont want to get up. When she left i went and got myself a bottle of wiskey. I sat on the couch drinking every last drop from the bottle. I sat there and cried myself to sleep.

My alarm went of and i could not get the courage to get up from te couch. I just sat there staring letting my mind take control of my body. I got myself another bottle of wiskey and started drinking. The day went by and i was wasted. I turned on my music at full blast and i made my way to the shower. I got in and sat there on the floor in the shower under the boilong water burning my flesh. I heard the song that spoke to my soul. It took me back to the very beginning. Being abandoned by everything and everyone i ever loved. I took my phone and put the song on repeat.

He took the thing that was most precious to me. He broke me, he took wat was left of me. The part that made me human. The part that made me trust and the part that made me want to fall in love. With one actoin he broke me he broke what i held most dear. The part that made me want to live he crushed in his bare hands.

Regina deserves someone who isnt as broken as me. She deserves someone who is whole and capable of giving love and recieving love. I am not that person. I wish i was but in the end i fucked it up, i always find a way to fuck things up.

I sat there crying because i knew what i had to do, what i wanted to do. I took my rasor and broke it, i took the blade and sat there crying on the floor. The song played on repeat.

If you see the boy I used to be
Could you tell him that I'd like to find him
And if you see the shell that's left of me
Could you spare him a little kindness

'Cause I've been high and I've been low
I've spent a thousand nights alone, tryna hold on tight
And feelings come but they won't go
Please won't someone take me home before I lose my mind

Am I broken?
Am I flawed?
Do I deserve a shred of worth or am I
Just another fake, fucked up lost cause?
And am I human?
Or am I something else?
'Cause I'm so scared and there's no one there
To save me from the nightmare that I call myself

I've tried everything and anything
But nothing seems to work quite like it should
Between the madness and the apathy
Seems there's nothing left inside of me that's good

'Cause I've been high and I've been low
I've spent a thousand nights alone, tryna hold on tight
And feelings come but they won't go
Please won't someone take me home before I lose my mind

Am I broken?
Am I flawed?
Do I deserve a shred of worth or am I
Just another fake, fucked up lost cause?
And am I human?
Or am I something else?
'Cause I'm so scared and there's no one there
To save me from the nightmare that I call myself

Am I broken?
Am I flawed?
Do I deserve a shred of worth or am I
Just another fake, fucked up lost cause?
And am I human?
Or am I something else?
'Cause I'm so scared and there's no one there
To save me from the nightmare that I call myself

The only person that was there for me was Regina and i fucked up. I know she hates me. I should have never opened up to her i should have never fought this hard beacause look where it got me. The only thing i am good enough for is being abandoned and used and... abused.

I need to put myself out of my misery. So i sat there feeling empty broken and used. My body was not my own anymore. So i took the blade and traced my veins over and over. The blood washed over my body and i knew this would be affective. I only did it on one of my wrists. And i sat there under the burning water crying.

I lost a lot of blood and my body began to grow weak. I started dozing of until i blacked out.