5am: the Grandma hour

The Complex Backstory of the:

*begin authors note*
<hot air balloon priest driver, colorful food enthusiast, officiator of green eggs and ham, the lesser known twilight sequel BROADWAY ADAPTION(ex convict)im known as a lover, husband, wife, teacher, student, ceo, zumba and senior citizen water aerobics teacher, baby daddy, baby mommy, father, daughter, priest, hostess,  perspective>
Shhh im going under a different name, it's me, jelly joe! Don't tell scabby the rat or he might drown me in a tidepool and then take a little nibble on my sweet succulent juicy ass (red flavour, as requested)for your contenjoymentleasureamiration.
For context! Scabby the rat lives in the.
His backstory: r6 (the sequel) [NOT related to BYS or KLEBvY CLArd MCGRovELL]
*end authors note*

<jelly joe>
Ok so i'm in my old timey shower, this guy rides in with his horse, rips open the curtain and yells "woooaaah there buddy, put on some clothes, that's a little inappropriate don't you think." hands me string cheese in a jar of tap water, slaps me in the face and leaves. I bet you're wondering how i got here. Well, this story begins a long time ago in the ancient ruins of Old Frebulon III (I was 4 at the time and walking home from school when the Great Lord Jembus jumped out from behind the speedball wall and scared me half to death - but that's besides the pont). Anyways, I was 4 years old and a quarter (italian at the time) and walking home from school when my father jumped out from behind the speedball wall and scared me half to death and I went in to shock and we had to go to the ER and I was put on psychotic drugs - but thats behind the point. Anyways, while I was in shock my dad said to me, he said to me, he said "son" and I said "I dont even know who you are-" but he CUT ME OFF the FUCKING TRABBY BASTARD anywho he said "son"  "I got a story to tell you and important story one that has great bearing on your future decisions and which will give you great wisdom and a better shaped nose" and then he said "son this story was told to me by my father, on a day quite like this, you see "son" I was walking home from school and my father jumped out from behind the tetherball pole and scared me half to death and vicariously caused me to divorce your mother - but that's besides the point. He jumped out and he said "son" and I said "John Biden is that you?" and he said "fuck shit you found me out you got me im a cop ummm uhhh i gotta umm ummmmmm i gotta go now so uhhhh" and then he ran away behind the speedball wall and that's where he's been hiding until now whem I jumped out and scared you half to death to tell you this story - but that's besides the pont" and then he ran and hid behind the dumpter. I was flambergampsted at this point and went in to an even deeper coma as a result and never recovered.

Anyways, thats besides the pont. Lets gt back to that one time, oh god i remember those times, that one time, way back when in the times, when guy rides in with his horse, rips open the curtain and yells "woooaaah there buddy, put on some clothes, that's a little inappropriate don't you think." hands me string cheese in a jar of tap water, slaps me in the face and leaves. Now THAT'S how I got there (here).