3- Nothing To Fear

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"Azure! Azure, wait, please! I'm sorry!"

His voice travelled up through the hole and echoed around the landing hole.
I ignored Aspen, focusing on lacing up my boots with an unnecessary amount of concentration. I felt a rush of a cool wind on my arms as his wings propelled him up through the hole.

The boy stumbled when he touched down to the floor, a frantic look gripping his face. He didn't see me immediately.
"Azure!" He started forwards, wings unfolding as if to take off. Then he saw me knelt beside my things and froze.
"Thank the gods." His wings went slack. "I thought you left."
He exhaled deeply, sounding more than relieved. Idiot. I put all my attention into the laces.
When I didn't say anything, words began pouring out of him, "I am so, so sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me. I didn't mean it- I was just worried about you leaving and I- fuck, I don't know, I..."
I glared at the floor, fastening my boot.
"I can't believe you, Aspen." Was the only thing I hissed in response. "In front of the entire council. In front of everyone."
The way he went silent almost made me regret my words. Almost, but not quite.

Eventually, Aspen crept closer, "I know I crossed the line... but you... I-"
That was when his voice caught. I snapped my head up. It was only now that I saw the tears shimmering in his eyes. His cheeks were flushed red and his wings were restless behind him. Aspen was barely holding back tears.
He for some reason seemed to feel the need to hide that from me, and sharply turned away.

I don't understand why but... looking at him like that, all tearful and sorry for himself— all of a sudden I felt sorry for him. Why? He had embarrassed me in front of the entire council. And worse, he had disrespected my mother. Yet something inside me couldn't stand the sight of Aspen's tears.

I released a deep sigh. One that echoed in the wooden cave. There was no point in lingering on this. I reached forwards into the hole in wall that that contained my things, fetched my gloves, and turned to my friend while I slapped one on.
"It's fine, Aspen." I breathed. I didn't know if I truly meant that, but he was upset. "Just forget about it."
The boy's wings drooped low, "You're just saying that. I know it's not fine." He knelt beside me, "I wouldn't even be up here if you... that was a really shitty thing to say. And I'm sorry. I would leave you alone, it's just that you're..." His voice trailed off.
I attached the glove's buckles around my wrist and wove the strap through.
"You're going out there." He finished softly when I made no move to respond. I could feel his eyes on me. Pleading. Look at me, I could hear those eyes saying. Don't leave like this.
I wouldn't look.
"Zuri." He said desperately, "I really am sorry. Please look at me. You can't leave like this."

I stopped forcing my attention onto the glove. My breath came shaky, and I hoped he didn't hear.
"I really don't have time for this right now. Forget about it. We're fine. Alright?"
"Then look at me?"
Obviously I didn't. Eventually I managed, "I know you didn't mean to. It's just..." I pulled fiercely on the glove strap, tightening it around my wrist, "You can't just say things like that. I don't care if you're angry, if you and the Elder hate each other. There's a line. And I don't need you speaking for me, especially not in front of the entire council."
I was the one who had just blurted that out after insisting we let it go. As much as I was ignoring the tightness in my chest, I couldn't deny that he had struck a nerve when he brought up my mother. What did he know about her? What did anyone know about her, I didn't even remember her face anymore. Nobody was sure how she had died. In the Blaze? Probably. But there was no body. And that was enough for rumours to start.

I realised my wrist was throbbing after my outburst. I looked down to realise I had tightened the strap way too much: it was practically cutting off the circulation. Gods give me strength. Groaning, I loosened the strap.

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