thirty-four special fuckboys

1.8K 78 13
                                    

And now~ welcome to a (not so) Christmassy edition of Weirdly Sarcastic <3

What kind of bath does Michael take?

A Bublé one

The doctor had lots of patience.

Barack Obama doesn’t have breakfast. He has Barackfast.

If someone tells you to spell Part A backwards, don’t do it. It’s a trap.

Someone needs to invent waffles for dogs and call them ‘Wooffles’.

why doesnt santa have any kids?

because he only comes once a year

I finally understand why we boil spaghetti in water before eating it.

It needs to become, carbohydrated.

Which galaxy raises many questions?

The Milky Why?

do u like my ass

is it

assthetically pleasing

person 1:awww, i love you two

person 2:aww, me too

me:aww, me three

What do you call a poem that smokes weed?

A high-ku.

You’re such a boob.

Haha! Just titting.
You’re my breast friend.

What kind of alcohol complains? 
Wine

What did the man with no hair do when his girlfriend broke up with him?
He bawled

what do you call someone who’s sick in an airport?

terminally ill

Why couldn’t the lizard get it on?

Because it had ereptile disfunction.

Me:I hear that you doubt my navigational abilities.

Dad:This conversation is going in the wrong direction already.

Accordiong to a recent survey, most people don’t notice when the names of musical instruments are hidden in sentences

a punk rock band where all the members wear crocs

punkcroc

teacher:sit up straight

me:but I'm gay

Merry Christmas all~! :D Why don’t you guys tell me what you’re doing this Christmas eh? cx

Weirdly SarcasticWhere stories live. Discover now