Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone: First Impressions

Chapter 2

Written June 11, 2020 - 4:30

The next chapter describes the Dursley's living room. The walls have pictures of the family that kindly adopted Harry, but not of the kid himself. Uh, I would hope not. Everyone's talking about a terrifying crazy psychopath that killed Harry's parents. The family taught him to hide in the cupboard so in case Voldemort ever showed up, he'd look around, see no pictures on the wall and find no room that Harry lived in, which would cause Mortie to apologize for intruding on the lovely Dursley clan and leave.

Harry wakes the next morning, recalling a dream he had about a flying motorcycle. Okay, that makes sense now. Let's get back to making money.

It's Dudley's birthday. He inventories his presents and compares to last year's numbers. Fine business practice. He most likely keeps an Excel spreadsheet. When he finds a decrease in the numbers, he threatens to lash out and emotionally manipulates the gift-givers into granting him more. That's how all business titans act. He's on the pathway to success already and his father is proud.

The next scenes are about how about how Dudley and his friends try to help strengthen Harry by encouraging him to take up jogging. He was running in front of the group around a building when all of a sudden, he finds himself on the roof. He doesn't know what happened from one minute to the next? He was on the ground and then on the chimney? He's missing time? The only people I know that happens to are sleepwalkers and psychopaths. Come to think of it, according to Dumbledore, Harry's parents were killed right in front of him when he was around one year old. That makes me think of the scene from the first season of Dexter where the main character as a baby is crying in a pool of his mother's blood. That's what I think of when I see this kid now, someone who saw his family murdered. A creepy little lunatic. Keep him away from sweet, innocent Dudley, please.

Harry is brought to Dudley's birthday party in the park and when they go to the snake enclosure, Harry imagines a boa constrictor is talking to him. It is not good to be imagining conversations with animals, unless it is with a rabbit, and only in certain situations (okay if you're Jimmy Stewart; somewhat okay if you're Ray Winstone; not okay if you're Jake Gyllenhaal).

When Dudley gets near, somehow the glass enclosure mysteriously "disappears" and the snake gets loose. Harry imagines that it is heading home to Brazil. The reality is that it's most likely heading for the closest wooded area near a dog park so it can sneak out every now and then to eat some poodles. Harry acts as if he doesn't know what happened to the glass. I'm sure he set the snake loose on purpose. It's because of kids doing stuff like this that Florida has boa constrictors running around all over the place. That Harry kid is a menace. I hope Mr. Dursley goes full Pygmalion and straightens him out soon.

Harry is sent to his cupboard room and it seems that he is having flashbacks to when his parents were killed. Uh, oh. This won't be good.