Family

75 1 0

by nutellaphrodite

by nutellaphrodite

CHAPTER 4

Life sucks. But your life sucks even more if your family hates you most. Because you thought that they will be the one to understand you, that they will be the first people to love and care for you. But no, they didn't. They did the opposite of it. They made me feel unworthy and unloved. They were the ones who shoved the light from me. They showed me how unfair life was, starting for them. They were always disappointed at me, I don't know why. They always favored my siblings. My parents never listened to me, but they kept on telling me to listen to me. I have been the good daughter for sure. I have a soft heart. Maybe that's the reason why I am a weakling. I have a lot of unheard feelings. I am voiceless.

*****************************************************************************************************************

**FLASHBACK**

"Margy" said my dad. "Give that to your little sister, can't you see that she is crying?". "But she broke her own doll, why would I give it to her?". "Because you are older than her". So I gave it to her. So I give it to her. Not realizing that my parents would base that attitude of mine for the rest of my life. That I would always give them happiness even if that means to take away everything from me. (Then it hit me, my brother is older than me too, but why won't you let me have anything fro mhim? )

*****************************************************************************************************************

It's Christmas day. My parents have left us. My brother hates me. My younger sister is ignoring me. I don't know what to do They never listened to me. What if I die? Will they even cry for me? Or they will never shed a tear for e. I am just a nobody. I am no one. I am drowning myself to tears, not knowing what to do. Or maybe I know what I really should do.

I am alone here in the dark room. Even light is afraid to pass in my chamber. It's so cold in here. The only noise that I am hearing is the sound of the aircon. Or maybe, my sreaming mind, telling me what to do. Just one cut will make you feel numb, again. I wanna feel the pain again. I want to shred some blood. Does it make me feel better? Yes.

I got my cutter when I was n third grade. I used it for my projects and stuffs. My teacher told me that I was one of the artistic students in our school. So I joined the arts club.

It's just funny how I make my art nowadays. On my body. I took off my shirt. Right under my bra, on my second rib, I started to cut it horizontally, I look on the mirror seeing it. There is blood, but it is not falling. So I decided to deepen the cut, Now it flows down to my stomach. As I looked in the mirror, I didn't see me, I saw a demon.

Then I realized, it was me. I am the demon. I created a monster in me. And that monster is controlling my life. I don't know how to take it off from me. I don't know what to do. Maybe because it keeps me going.