My Sweet Josephine

Chapter 3. Rough Times

Josephine POV (2 years ago, 1 year after jo left):

I am walking along the streets of New York hammered. I have just finished my second bottle of whiskey today, it helps to forget the pain that I am in. Too bad it dosent last long enough. That's why I just keep drinking bottle after bottle, also it helps with forgetting him. I miss him. But I know he is doing better without me now. I was just dragging him down with me.

He didnt deserve to have someone like me around ruining his life. I saw him on a billboard yesterday in Time Square. He looked amazing. I really am proud of him.

Does he miss me? Probably not. My parents, Hero, Felix and Kat are all probably way more happy without me. I hope they are. I was just a burden to all of them, me and my fucked up self, constantly having a new problem to be fixed. It got to the point where they all just always expected something new to be wrong with me.

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! I'm such a fucking mistake! Why was I always causing problems!

Oh well dosen't matter now. I'm glad I left, now they can all move on with their lives and forget about the mistake that was me.

A few days ago I was walking down some random street god knows where, shit faced and I saw him. He was coming out of a high class hotel with and burnt haired, plastic skank trailing after him. I will admit I was a little jealous. But hey, I deserve it. I'm the one who left him. I'm the run away girlfriend that couldn't seem to get her shit together, and instead of being strong and fighting through my problems, I was a pussy and ran away.

He almost saw me but I quickly ducked into a alley way, before he could actually see me. I dont want him to see me like this. Drunk, smelly and over all disgusting. I know he would be so disappointed in me. He would be disappointed to see me living on the streets, getting in bar fights and only god knows what other shit I get myself into.

I stumble into a alley way, and I slide down the wall of one of the buildings and pull my knees to my chest. Sobs rake through my body as I think about how much I miss Hero. How I should have fought my mental illnesses instead of running away. I also miss my friends, especially Katherine, I miss going over to her house sophomore year and her helping me get ready for my first date with Hero.

"FUCK!" I yell at the top of my lungs. I get weird stares from people that walk by, but I dont give a shit. They can go fuck themselves. Also, ever since leaving, I have found myself using a whole new vocabulary that I didnt used to use.

"Josephine?" I hear a female voice say. That sounds a lot like Kat. I snap my head up and sure enough, there one of my best friends stands staring at me in what looks like both horror and relief.

"Yep, that's me," I slur out.

She rushes to me and helps me stand up I stumble a little bit and she sniffs me, "oh my god, Jo are you drunk?"

"Nooooo," I say.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?! You runaway from home and here I find you a year later in a alley shitfaced in the middle of the day!" She says furiously. I look down ashamed.

"I'm telling Hero," Kat states.

"No! Please dont!" I plead.

"Why the fuck not Jo, he is your boyfriend."

"No, he was my boyfriend. And besides, it's none of his fucking business what I do with my life."

"Your not serious right now Jo?"

"Oh I'm 100% serious, now I have fucking places to be if you dont mind please move the fuck out of my way," I say a little to harshly, but she is the one making me upset with all of this talk about Hero.

"What places and where did this new vocabulary come from?"

"That's for me to know, and for you to dot, dot, dot." I tell her as a I slightly smirk.

"Seriously Jo, what happened to you? You used to be so kind and caring, and then one day you just changed. You blew all of us off, and seemed to put yourself on a self destructive mission. Hero has been going insane without you and I dont think you even fucking care!"

"You know the night I left, Hero asked me same same thing, and i quote 'what happened to me' maybe you lot should mind your own business," I say ruthlessly. "And that kind and caring Jo that you love so much is dead. She died a long time ago long before I left, but no one noticed. Not that I care, I realize now that you guys have your own lives and it's better if I'm not in them. Also I dont really think Hero is going that insane without me, when just a few days ago I saw him prancing around with a slut." I tell her venom lace in my voice.

"You know Jo, I still love you as if you were my own sister and I can see that your hurting right now. I really hope you can get your shit together so that the next time we meet, you wont be such a ruthless bitch. But with that being said, it's good to know that your not dead, so come here and let me give you a hug before I leave." She pulls me into a hug.

It feels so good to finally have my bestfriend hugging me again even if I was such a bitch to her.

Then she leaves. Once again I'm left alone. By myself. Drinking myself to death.

Note from author❤:

I'm sorry for not posting for such a long time. I really wanted to get this chapter out so yall could see a little bit from Jo's pov. Please let me know if you have any requests for things that you might want to see in the future!

You know you love me xoxo,
Zoë