A Series of Slightly More Fortunate Events

Introduction

Disclaimer: I do not own a Series of Unfortunate Events

In many books you can tell what the story will be about by reading the first few words of the book. For example a book that starts with "Gary put on his baseball cap and eagerly waited for his friend Larry" you can assume that the book will be about Gary and Larry winning a baseball game or a tournament. If you read, "Once upon a time" this usually means that the book takes place in a different world and will have different creatures in them. If you read a book that starts with "In a galaxy far far away" you will know that the story involves some sort of intergalactic travel and involves much more powerful technology than many people are used to and involves space ships that are aerodynamically shaped even though there is not atmosphere in space. In a story that starts with "The paper towel abandoned its family and became a multimillionaire" you will find out that the book will become classic literature, be given many awards,  be taught by English teachers, and cause a lot of controversy. This book does not do any of that and will begin with a very flawed designation. 

Many books have a moral at the end of the story. A moral is what you are supposed to learn from a story, morals are usually supposed to teach you something. For example, Snow White's moral is don't eat apples. The Three Bears' moral is don't break into a bear's home without a weapon. The moral of Little Red Riding Hood is don't let your grandma be eaten by wolves. However the most accurate moral is the moral of Anna Karenina which is that a rural life of moral simplicity, despite its monotony, is the preferable personal narrative to a daring life of impulsive passion, which only leads to tragedy. This is the most accurate to this story because many people would prefer to be sitting on their couch reading The Three Bears than be part of a skydiving robbery accident and die. Or be like Beatrice, who joined a secret organization and burned to death. 

In this story there is no happy beginning and very few delightful things in the middle. 

For those of whom who have decided to continue, you have been warned. 

I will advise you to not read this and read something else instead like the water cycle because it is boring and will not be a life of impulsive passion and will not lead to tragedy. 

My name is Lemony Snicket and I am here to tell you the tale of the unfortunate lives of the Baudelaires and the Quagmires.

Violet Baudelaire

Age - 14

Klaus Baudelaire

Age - 12

Sunny Baudelaire

Age - 2

Duncan Quagmire

Age - 13

Quigley Quagmire

Age - 13

Isadora Quagmire

Age - 13