Chapter Twenty Three- Liam

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"Sa-mi, Sa-mi," Evangeline calls in a singsongy voice as she leads me down the hall.
"You know,  I can just come back later, you know if she's resting and all," I say.
"No, no, she's been up for s few hours now," Evangeline says. "I'm sure she's ready for a visit."

Samara opens her bedroom door and stares us down. Her face is all swollen, her lips puffy, and full of bruises, but she sure still knows how to smile.
"Uh, hi, I was just um, nearby getting gas and I thought I'd uh- stop in- to see how you were and all." I start shifting my weight, standing awkwardly, my eyes glued to the floor.
"Cone in," she says, stepping aside in the doorway.

We sit side by side on her bedroom floor, leaning up against her bed for back support.
"You scared the shit outta me, Sam," I say, turning to face her.
"I know, I'm sorry. But I was just so angry Liam. So damn angry at him."
"I'm angry too," I say. "As his best friend, I should have known."

She leans over, placing her head on my shoulder .
"Do you ever dream of him?" she asks. "In the hospital, I dreamt of him."
"Yeah? And what did he- I mean what- was he okay? I mean,  did he look like he was ok? And what did he— you know, say?"
A thousand racing thoughts enter my brain at that moment. This is suddenly all that matters, all I can think about.

"He was real," she says, twirling a piece of her dark wavy hair around her finger. "Almost more so than he was when he was alive. He looked, well, he looked like Taylor, you know? He was just standing there, leaning on my bed post with his left hand in his pocket."
"Oh Taylor," I laugh, "All class."
She smiles and goes on, "he told me that we were there for him. And that he knew we would have been, no matter what. And I don't know, it made me understand, sorta why he didn't tell us. It was a part of his story, but not the whole book, you know? I guess none of us really knew him , inside out, but that isn't the point. We gave him what he needed from us as his friends ; good times, good memories to have." 
I smile, wanting so hard to believe her. But at the back of my mind, I still feel like I hadn't given him enough of those.
I start to lean in, but quickly pull away from her.
"Wanna get outta here?" I ask, "we could, you know, go to the field or something."
"Sure," she shrugs, getting up. "I just gotta let Evie know."

The ride over is silent. I keep my eyes on the road, focusing only on my driving. When we get there, I park the car on the curb, and we walk through the tall grass to the middle of the field. Samara lays down,  flipping onto her stomach, mindlessly picking at the dandelions that surround her. I do the same, until finally, she breaks the silence.

"So I guess, we never really got to know each other that well. I mean, I only saw you when Taylor was around," she says, propping herself up on her elbow.
"What do you wanna know?" I ask. 
"What do you wanna tell me?"
"I-uh-I dunno," I say, wishing I could just put together a full damn sentence for once.
"Okay, I'll start," she decides. "My favourite place to go in the whole world, is actually this field." She flips onto her back, stretching her arms out, and letting the grass wedge itself between her fingers. 
"Really? Why?"
"I dunno," she shrugs, fiddling with more dandelions. Something about all the open space. Filled with possibility, you know, potential."
"Yeah, uh- potential's... potential's good," I say.
"Yeah," she smiles. "Yeah . Of course, it takes time, you know, for something as big as this field to reach what it could eventually turn onto one day. I mean, maybe some people come in here tomorrow, access it and realize it'd be a good place for soccer nets. And then this field turns into a place for little-league soccer, or something. Or maybe, they'll just want to leave what is already beautiful alone, you know? Leave the possibility of it all dormant, so they can fully appreciate it, you know, without all the stress of starting a new project. But I guess that's what's all exciting about this place. You never quite know what it could all be. I guess, time will, eventually tell. It always does."
"Yeah, I smile, "it always does."

The end.

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