The Love We Never Had

Chapter Four

"Cersei! Be quiet!" Jaime hissed as he spun to face her, practically running towards her, he grabbed her elbow and forcefully shoved her back into her rooms. He took a quick look around, and seeing his sister's ladies standing there looking at him shocked, his face quickly twisted in rage.

"Get out. Now." He practically growled out at the women, and they all ran out the door, their skirts flying behind them. When Jaime looked back at Cersei she was smirking at him with a glint in her eyes. He gave her arm another firm, he was hoping painful, squeeze before she yanked her arm out of his grip.

"What do you want?" Jaime growled out, almost shaking in rage. He honestly was just so tired of Cersei, how was it alright for her to go off and marry a man and expect him to be waiting for her to want him, but not okay for him to actually have feelings for the woman who would become his wife, and to actually want to be loyal to her?

"I want you. You were supposed to be mine forever, you are mine, and I am yours." Cersei's face had changed, and Jaime could see the desperation in her eyes but he couldn't find the love he had once had for her.

"No. I am Arya's. She is mine, and I am hers. I will be hers until the day I die, and nothing you do or say is going to change that. You are my sister, and I would like to remain civil with you, but if you keep trying to sabotage my relationship I will send you off to live with your betrothed." Cersei shook her head in disbelief.

"You wouldn't. You still love me, you wouldn't send me off to live with that Targaryen, not while he is courting that Dornish whore! You can't anyway. Father wouldn't let you." Cersei was smirking at him again, and the face he used to find so seductive now made him flinch in disgust.

"Actually, father only let you remain here because I said that you needed to meet my wife. Well you have met her. He would rather you be with Rhaegar fighting for him then here letting the crown slip out of your fingers. In fact, I'll just go ahead and tell him that right now." Jaime turned to walk away, not wanting to hear any more of Cersei's garbage, but she ran after him, grabbing his arm with both hands, pulling him, trying to make him stop.

"Please don't Jaime! I promise I won't say anything to Arya! Just please don't ship me off to that man!" When Jaime looked back at her, he could see tears forming in her eyes. However, after being with someone since birth, you know when the tears are real, and these were the worst imitation of tears he had ever seen. He jerked his arm out of her grasp, making her stumble for a moment before she caught her balance. When she looked back up at him, Jaime noticed that the tears were suddenly dried up, replaced with a rage he had never seen directed at him.

"Just stop Cersei. You're embarrassing yourself. I would start packing sister, I would assume that father will have you leave at dawn." And with that, Jaime spun on his heel and stormed out of her door, and slammed it shut behind him. He could hear the sound echoing down the corridors, and he couldn't help but take a moment to close his eyes and try to collect himself. He then turned back to the right, from where he had come, and moved away from his chambers, and his Lady, once again, and began a very hasty walk towards his father's study.

When he arrived he knocked loudly, as per usual, and when his father invited him in Jaime found it very easy to tell his father what he wanted: Cersei out of his life. Tywin was surprisingly accommodating, Jaime thought he would have to make more of an argument, and he agreed that Cersei would leave that next morning to head to Dragonstone, where the Prince would receive her and begin the official courting of his betrothed. When Jaime left his father he felt more relaxed then he had the past few hours, until he realized that he was supposed to be eating dinner with the woman who he would be married to in less than three days. Once that realization hit, Jaime's nerves skyrocketed yet again and he began to basically sprint to his chambers. It had to have been at least an hour, maybe two since he had left her to go find that servant, she had to be wondering where he was. What if she was angry?

She wasn't. But she was confused, and disappointed, and if Arya was being honest with herself, she felt like she had been deserted. It was verging on an hour and forty-five minutes when Jaime burst through the door, looking all kinds of disheveled, to find Arya sitting at the table, in her nightgown and a robe, surrounded by what looked to be very cold food. She had waited on him to eat with her, she must have realized at some point that he wouldn't be back soon, but by that point that food was already to cold to try to eat. She had nibbled on some of the grapes, but she could still feel the hunger aching in her stomach.

Jaime stood in the doorway for awhile watching her. Arya had turned to look at him when he came in, but had almost immediately turned back around to look out the windows. Her back was stiff, and she felt like if she sat in that wooden chair any longer she would never be able to lie flat again.

"Arya... I..." Jaime started, but he never got to finish because Arya rose a hand to cut him off.

"Where were you? I waited. And you never came back. You said you would just be a few minutes."

"I'm sorry. I was on my way back but..." He trailed off, suddenly realizing that he couldn't tell her the truth, not if he didn't want her to know about him and Cersei.

"But?" She had turned to look at him now. She wasn't glaring like he expected, but her eyes were sad. Jaime knew that if he lied to her it would come back and hurt him, and her, in the end, it always did, but he decided that he would only let her know the basics of what had happened.

"I ran into my sister, and we had a little discussion. After I talked with her I went to my father and told him she should go to live with her betrothed at Dragonstone, he agreed with me, and it wasn't until I was on my way back that I realized how long I had been. If I had known I would have sent a servant to let you know what was going on so you wouldn't worry. I am so sorry love, I promise to try and not let it happen again. I can't promise it won't happen again since things tend to happen... but I promise to try to always let you know if I'll be late. Can you forgive me?" He had moved over towards her chair and was kneeling before her, holding her hand in-between both of his, gazing into her soft gray eyes.

Arya knew before he even asked that she would, she always would. He was hers now, just as she was his, and no matter what that could never change. So she nodded, and pulled him in for a hug. His strong arms wrapped around her tiny waist and she felt the blanket of safety wrap itself around her like it always did when he held her. And at least him being late brought along something good, Cersei was leaving. Maybe with Cersei gone, they could have the life she dreamed of, the one that made her heart flutter and the reason she was so quick to forgive her future husband. The one full of love.